Page 76 of A Bride for the Wicked Duke

Gerald looked for Lady Hawkins, needing to see her again. Needing to see if there was any suggestion at all that this entire charade wasn’t folly and a waste of time.Am I too late? Does she still feel the same for me? I must know!

Nonetheless, Gerald allowed himself to be led. Through the crowd, outside, and toward the back of the church. Even if Lady Hawkins did still feel the same for him, that did not mean she would be allowed to simply end this engagement. Lord Grayhill was the patriarch of the family and his word was law. Little wonder that he saw the need to speak with Gerald before anything else was said… or he made things any worse.Little chance of that.

* * *

Gerald paced back and forth, his anxiety building by the second. Lord Grayhill had led him outside and then asked him to wait, striding back toward the church without another word said. The first thought to cross Gerald’s mind was that he was going to fetch his sister, which excited him as much as it did terrify him. He had so much to say, and where moments ago his mind had been clear and focused, now his emotions were crashing upon him so that if he did see Lady Hawkins, he wasn’t certain he would be able to speak.

And what if she refuses to come? Although I suppose that will give me my answer.

Another few moments of pacing and Lord Grayhill returned, only not with Lady Hawkins. When Gerald saw who he had brought instead, he stopped pacing, his stomach dropped through the earth, and he was forced to reckon in real time with the true consequences of what he had done.

“What is the meaning of this!” Lord Mildenhall cried as he strode toward Gerald. “Your Grace! I would say that you better have a damn good reason for all of this! But I cannot fathom what you might say to justify such a… a… an action that defies reason!”

Gerald’s first instinct was to apologize and ask for forgiveness. He had wronged this man and the easiest way to diffuse him would be to admit fault and lay his heart bear, praying that Lord Mildenhall’s reason saw through his anger. And he very nearly did to…

Only then, Gerald considered a different approach. Where he was sorry for what he had done, he would not apologize for it. He would not beg. And he certainly would not rely on Lord Mildenhall’s good grace to forgive him. This wasn’t about forgiveness. This was about admitting who he was and what he wanted – whatever the cost! And where he felt bad for Lord Mildenhall, he reasoned that he was doing this for Lady Hawkins, as much as himself.

“I would think that was clear,” Gerald said simply. “I am in love with Lady Hawkins and I came here to tell her as such before it is too late.”

“In love!” Lord Mildenhall cried with exasperation as if he did not understand the word. “Too late!” he then added. “That is not… of course you are too late! This is my wedding day, man! How you think such a thing as this is appropriate –”

“It does not matter if it is or not,” Gerald spoke over him. “And that is the point. I love Lady Hawkins…” He looked at Lord Grayhill and nodded so the man would know his words were true. “And I could not live with myself if I did not let her know it.”

“That is… how you think that makes any difference –”

“It makes all the difference,” Gerald spoke over him. “What is more, I believe that she loves me also. I understand the timing of this is not appropriate.”

“You think!”

“And believe me when I tell you that I will do everything that I can to make this right by you. My intention here is not to cause duress. Rather, it is because I believe that Lady Hawkins deserves happiness and I know that with you, Lord Mildenhall, that is not an option.”

Lord Mildenhall continued to look bewildered. “I… I… we had a deal!” He was on Lord Grayhill now. “I was to pay your family’s debts and Lady Hawkins was to provide for me an heir! What does it matter if she and I are not in love…” His lip curled slightly at the notion. “You need this as much as I do,” he begged of Lord Grayhill. “Think of your family’s future!”

Lord Grayhill stood silent throughout the pleading. His expression was considered as he looked between Gerald and Lord Mildenhall. Biting into his lip, brow furrowed, he took his time with it and Gerald held his breath…

“I think…” Lord Grayhill nodded once. “I think, Lord Mildenhall that I will be cancelling our deal.”

“What!”

“I am sorry,” he said added quickly. “Truly, I am. But it is as His Grace says…” He smiled then, and it reached his eyes. “My sister’s happiness is what matters here and if there is a chance she might find such happiness with His Grace, what sort of brother would I be to deny it of her.”

Lord Mildenhall was caught between fury and shock. His mouth opened and closed. His eyes grew wide and then sunk. It looked for a moment like he had forgotten how to speak and Gerald braced himself for the tirade that was sure to follow.

“That is… I cannot believe…” And then, his shoulders slumped. “If that is the way of things... I suppose throwing a tantrum will not make much of a difference now, will it?”

Gerald very nearly laughed, but that was just the joy that swelled inside of him threatening to explode from his lips. His heart swelled and he had to resist the urge to grab Lord Grayhill and pull him into a hug.

“Thank you, Lord Mildenhall,” he said instead. “I appreciate your civility.”

“Yes, well…” He shook his head and sighed. “In times such as this, I suppose civility is the best that can be hoped for.” He laughed bitterly at that, dejected but not broken.

Still, that did not mean he wished to remain and soak in the rejection that was this marriage, quick to say his goodbyes and shuffle away. Gerald watched him go, making a mental note to help the man where he could, possibly even finding him a bride in the future for he felt that he owed him.

“Do not think it will be that easy,” Lord Grayhill then spoke, bringing Gerald back into the moment. “You have my blessing, but my sister is a different beast.”

“Thank you,” Gerald said. “And don’t I know it.”

“She is waiting for you,” Lord Grayhill said and indicated toward a small room that stuck from the back of the church. “If you dare.”

---