“As ready as I will ever be,” she said, taking her final breath. “Let us begin.” And with that, Aurelia started down the aisle, toward her soon-to-be husband, toward her new life. Accepting, but not happy.Not surprising, as happiness had never been a part of this arrangement…
ChapterTwenty-Six
The wedding had already begun.I am too late…
This did not stop Gerald from jumping down from his horse and striding toward the church, his mind set, his actions thought of, the consequences accepted because he knew that he could not live with himself if he did nothing. And nothing was what he came very close to doing.
He had spent the night wondering what he should do. And when he was finally ready to admit such a thing, he spent the morning wondering if he could really go through with it. The timing was perhaps his biggest concern, as he had waited until literally the last minute. And what if Lady Hawkins had changed her mind? What if he told her his feelings and she rejected him? What then?
In the end, he decided that it did not matter.I will never forgive myself if I do not at least try. And even if she does turn me away. Even if this is all for nought. At least I will have stopped lying to myself.
Gerald had hoped to reach Aurelia before the ceremony had begun. That would have been ideal. But seeing the doors closed and hearing no music or chatter coming from within suggested he was either too late… or he had mere seconds to act. So it was, without a second thought, that Gerald reached the closed doors to the church, took them by the handle, and then threw them open.
The effect of such an entrance was as expected as it was calamitous.
Shocked gasps ripped from the seated guests. A few cries of surprise also. Heads turned. Mouths dropped open. One or two people made to stand as if they meant to attack him and force him back. But mostly, it was bewilderment that struck the church, forcing upon it a silence that stretched from where Gerald stood toward the altar.
The altar was where Gerald’s eyes went immediately. There stood Aurelia, dressed in a stunning green gown, looking as gorgeous and perfect as he remembered.How had I fooled myself for so long? How had I not been able to see what was in front of my eyes this whole time?She gaped at him, impossible to tell from her expression if she was happy that he had come, or furious that he had dared to interrupt.
With her was Lord Mildenhall, holding her by the hands as the priest read their vows. He looked at Gerald as if he did not quite understand who he was. As if he thought he was imagining things. His head turned from Gerald to Aurelia, his eyes widening slowly as the realization dawned.
“Lady Hawkins…” Gerald started down the aisle. “I –”
“What is the meaning of this!” Lord Mildenhall came into himself. He dropped Aurelia’s hands and turned, taking a few short steps toward Gerald. “Your Grace! What do you think you are doing?”
“What I must.” He did not look at Lord Mildenhall as he spoke, choosing to focus on Aurelia only. “What I should have done weeks ago but was too stupid to do. But I am done being stupid. And I am done with all the lies. Lady Hawkins –”
“I ask that you leave at once,” Lord Mildenhall cried. “This is my wedding day, Your Grace!”
“I am sorry, Lady Hawkins,” Gerald continued, speaking over Lord Mildenhal. He walked halfway down the aisle and stopped, knowing better than to try and push past the upset lord. “For lying to you. All this time, that is what I have been doing. When you came to me and told me how you felt –”
“How she felt!” Lord Mildenhall exclaimed. “What does that –”
“—I should have listened. Dammit, I should have seen what was right there the whole time. But I was scared. I…” He shook his head. “I have spent so long worried about what people think of me that I did not stop to consider that the only person whose opinion I needed to worry about was the one person who I care for more in this whole world than anybody.” He held her eyes and smiled. Lady Hawkins, brow furrowed, did not return it. That gave him pause, a moment where he wondered if he was too late…
“Stop this at once!” Lord Mildenhall looked to Aurelia’s brother. “Do something!”
“You, is who,” Gerald continued bravely. “You are who I care for – no, not care for.” His smile grew, radiating with such brightness that it drowned out the sun that shone through the windows. “Love, Lady Hawkins. I love you. And before you marry Lord Mildenhall, I need you to know it. I need you to understand how I feel. You deserve the truth, is why, even if it is too late. Even if you hate me. Even if you want to never see me again. I could not live with myself otherwise.”
More gasps. More cries of outrage. Lord Mildenhall looked caught in a state of utmost apoplexy; his head swiveled from Lady Hawkin’s brother to his mother to Gerald and back again. But Gerald ignored it all.
He stayed looking at Lady Hawkins, desperate for an answer. Desperate for any indication that he was not too late. The marriage was not officialized yet. Still, Lady Hawkins could walk away, if she chose. All she needed to do was see that for once Gerald was speaking his truth and admit to herself that she felt the same way. But her brow was furrowed tightly. Her face was scrunched into a confused ball. It was impossible to see how she felt or what she might say, and Gerald again wondered if this had been a mistake.
“Oh!” From the front of the church, Lady Hawkin’s mother suddenly jumped to her feet, only to collapse.
“Mother!” Lady Hawkins cried and went to her. “Somebody!”
Anarchy broke out after that. The crowd rose to their feet and surged on the passed-out woman. People screamed and shouted. Lady Hawkins could not be seen, for she had fallen on her knees to support her mother. Gerald meant to go to her but there were too many people in the way.
“Lady Hawkins!” he cried out. “Please!”
And then, through the crowd, her brother, Lord Grayhill appeared. He caught sight of Gerald and approached him. Like his sister, it was impossible to tell what was on his mind. But Gerald knew him to be a stern sort, proper in every respect, and thus likely furious for what Gerald had done.
“Your Grace…” He came in beside Gerald. “I think you and I best speak privately.”
“Your mother…”
“Is fine,” Lord Grayhill said. “She knew a distraction was needed and sought to create one herself.” He shook his head at the notion. “But we must speak. Now.”