Page 63 of Blackout-
He’s so fucking calm it’s scary.
“We can fight the gun charges,” Pipe asserts.
“You can’t fight murder,” he argues, finally looking at me.
Our eyes lock and I realize there is no greater plan. Jack isn’t going to pull me aside and fill me in on some elaborate scheme only privy to us. He’s riding solo on this one.
“And you’re not going away. Your place is here. Not with the club but with my daughter.”
He’s also not giving up.
No, the bastard is sacrificing himself to protect me.
Defeat, guilt, and shame force me to bow my head. My hair falls in front of my face, shielding my eyes and for that, I’m grateful because suddenly, I can’t control my emotions. Tears fill my eyes and my shoulders shake as I try my damnedest to hold them from spilling.
“Look at me,” Jack demands in a low tone and I force my eyes to his. I wonder if he sees my failures. If he recognizes my pain. Does he look at me and see regret? Does he hate me for what I’ve done or is he too mad at himself for giving me permission to love his daughter?
“Take care of her,” he says hoarsely, answering my questions. “Take care of the baby.”
The answers to my questions are reflected in his eyes. They’re in his words. If given the chance, Jack would do everything the same. He’d give me Lacey’s hand and trust me to take care of her. To love and cherish her. I don’t know if that makes him a fool or the greatest man I’ll ever know.
“Jack—”
“I hope it’s a girl,” he continues. “I hope you get to know that bond a father has with his daughter. Cherish it, man, fucking cherish it, because one day some guy with long hair is going to come around and he’s gonna steal her heart.”
I’d love that.
Not the part where some undeserving prick steals my daughter’s heart, but the part where I feel what Jack feels for his daughter. That unconditional love you’ll do anything to preserve—I’d really love to experience that, but how fair would that be? How could I let Jack lose that feeling? Lacey may love me, but she’ll never forgive me if she loses her father. I don’t want her to resent me and even if she didn’t, I don’t know if I could live with that guilt.
“I can’t let you take the rap for this. Lacey will never forgive me. She needs you, Jack.”
“She needs you more,” he replies, placing a hand on my shoulder. A beat of silence passes between us and I watch as his eyes fill with tears. Clearing his throat, he forces a smile.
“Make sure my grandchild knows he or she had a grandpa and that loved him or her very much,” he rasps.
“You’re talking like your dying,” I growl, wishing he’d shut the fuck up and that I wasn’t the weak fuck that got us into this mess.
“No, but by the time your kid is old enough to visit, I’ll be too far gone, and I don’t want the memory of me in a straight jacket to be the only one she’s got.”
The sad thing is, I can see it. I can see me and Lacey bringing our daughter to visit him. Our little girl runs into her grandpa’s waiting arms. There is no straight jacket, no padded cell. There’s just him and her.
Hearing Jack clear his throat, I shake the image from my mind.
“That being said,” he continues, diverting his attention to all the men at the table. “I think that it is in the club’s best interest to have Wolf take the gavel. He’s the only one here who truly understands what I’ve tried to create here and I’m certain he will lead this club away from tragedy. He’ll keep you all breathing and take the Satan’s Knights to a place where you can all be proud. Any objections?”
In typical Jack fashion, he doesn’t give anyone a chance to object as he pushes back his chair and rises to his feet. Taking my patch from the table, he reaches into his kutte with his other hand and retrieves his. With both ranks in his hands, he makes his way to the other end of the table and opens his palm to Wolf.
“Godspeed, my man,” he says.
Through the years, Jack and I talked a lot about the future of the club and when I’d take his place. Never once was he not in the picture and maybe that’s why being his successor was so appealing in the beginning. I guess I figured when the time finally came for Jack to step down, he’d be old and withered, unable to ride. He’d still be present, just more laid back and in the shadows, guiding me and talking in my ear. A man who spent his days loving his wife and watching his young son grow into a man. A grandfather who spoiled the grandkids me and his daughter gave him. Someone who’d continue to teach me how to navigate life and more importantly, fatherhood.
I never thought the Parrish era would end like this, with both of us losing.
I never thought I’d be sitting here watching as Wolf takes his place as the leader and appoints Pipe as his right hand. But as odd as it is, it’s also right. The future of the Satan’s Knights is in good hands, better hands than mine. It’s my future as a husband and father that’s in peril.
“Reina’s waiting for me,” Jack mutters, bracing his hand on the frame of the door. Turning around, he gives us all one last glimpse of his trademark wicked grin. “We had one fuck of a run, didn’t we? It wasn’t always easy for us, but we showed everyone you ain’t gotta be blood to be family. I love you my, brothers,” he pauses, his voice cracking. “That’s what you are, you know? You’ll always beproperty of Parrish.”
They’re poignant words for a remarkable man and like always, Jack leaves an everlasting impression as he exits the room.
