Page 31 of Blackout-

“You still take your orders from me, Black.”

“Answer the question, Jack,” Pipe interjects, taking a stand.

Like me, he doesn’t want to fucking sink either.

“He says he didn’t know and I fucking believe him,” Jack growls, slamming his hand against the table. “Do I need to remind all you motherfuckers what that man has done for this club? Yeah, he should’ve told us about Linc and he probably should’ve told us sooner about Cain’s connection to Yankovich but, for nearly thirty years that man has devoted his life to this family. Yeah, I said family,” he affirms, leaning over the table. “And you know why I said it? Because that’s exactly what that motherfucker made this club. Now, I dare any of you to tell me otherwise.”

“I know I’m the last person who should speak right now but, our president is right. Wolf has gone out of his way for everyone sitting at this table. For some, like me, he’s gone above and beyond personally. For others, for everyone with a bottom rocker, he’s done everything to keep this club above water. None of us would be sitting here if he didn’t have faith in the values this club holds,” Linc says.

“Fact,” Deuce agrees.

“He’ll be back,” Pipe says, leaning back against his chair as he pins his eyes to Jacks. “Take it from me, this club is embedded in his soul. He needs to ride like he needs to breathe but right now, he needs a break. He needs to find—”

“He needs to find his fucking heart is what he needs,” Jack interrupts. Lifting a finger, he points to every man at the table, including me. “You all think I’m fucking crazy when I tell you to find yours but those of you who found it, know I’m fucking right. There needs to be a balance and there needs to be something in your life that reigns over the patch. Something that makes life worth living and this ain’t it.”

As true as that is for most of the men sitting at this table, it’s not the case for me and Jack. We both have found our heart and neither of us will ever find that balance. For him, the patch reigns over his mind and his family and for me, it comes before my sobriety and my love for his daughter. I don’t tell him that though. Instead, I let the poor bastard think he’s got all the answers.

Lacey’s voice rings in my ears, reminding I don’t need to be perfect, I just need to be well.

Maybe if I take her advice the rest of this shit will fall into place.

Maybe I won’t feel like I’m suffocating anymore.

Maybe I won’t jones for a fix of poison.

Yeah, fucking right.

Chapter Twelve

Blackie

No one spokeon the matter of Wolf after that and Riggs revealed he purchased a bar that he’s secretly been converting into our new clubhouse. We went from one fucking shit storm to another. Tuning out Lacey’s voice, I was ready to crack and so was Jack.

“There is a massive back room we can use for a chapel and two apartments upstairs that I opened up and converted into individual bedrooms. Bas can finally get out of the projects and Needles, I even made a room for your daughter. The bar will be extra income for the club and help us get out of the red,” Riggs shares.

Until now, I didn’t think our lack of having a clubhouse was an issue. Our days of partying and housing whores were long gone. Most of us were married and had our own homes, others made do with apartments, making the need for room and board for riders obsolete. If another club dragged their pipes through our streets and needed a place to land, one of us had no problem opening our homes for a while and we were making things work by operating out of Pipe’s garage.

Jack grips the edge of the table and bites the inside of his cheek. If I know him as well as I think I do, he’s battling his pride. Jack doesn’t like anyone sweeping in to clean up his messes but me. Everyone here knows it was his responsibility to rebuild what we lost but there was always something standing in his way, some enemy or dire situation and the clubhouse fell to the bottom of the list of his priorities. Riggs taking the initiative has been a tough pill for Jack to swallow.

“Before you tell me to go fuck myself, you should probably know I already hired my mother-in-law as the head cook and she’ll have your balls on a platter if you take away her job.”

Giving Jack a minute to process the news, I grab the phone.

“You did this on your own?” I ask.

“If you’re asking if I laid out the money, yes. I’ve got more than I know what to do with Black and the club can pay me back after we’re back on our feet.”

Peering at Jack from the corner of my eye, I wonder if that’s eased the blow to his pride.

“Well, that explains the restaurant tables,” Cobra says, knocking his knuckles against the grain.

“It’ll be another legit business for the club and with our cop friend in the dirt, it’ll keep the pigs off our backs. It’s time to bring back the clubhouse parties, man. I’m not saying we fill the joint with hookers and shit but, we used to celebrate when we patched someone in. What do our prospects have to look forward to? Free pickings on Wolf's tomato plants?”

“If we dig up that fucking garden, we’ll have more room on the lot for the buses,” Pipe says, pointing to the parking lot behind me where Wolf put a vegetable garden.

“Where is this bar?” Jack growls.

“Well, that’s the only problem…”

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