Page 136 of Blackout-
I tune the two of them out and close my eyes. Tears spill from my lashes and I silently thank God for making this possible. For giving the man I love one more chance at life and for allowing him to find the courage to take it.
“I love you,” I blurt into the phone.
I don’t even care that I have an audience or that the doctor probably thinks I’m a basket case.
This beautiful moment is mine.
All mine.
“I love you too, baby,” Blackie says hoarsely. “So damn much.”
I open my eyes and look at Dr. Heltzer.
“We’re ready,” I tell him, and he smiles at me. The probe touches my stomach and the room fills with the sound of our baby’s heartbeat. “Do you hear that, Blackie?”
Dr. Heltzer turns up the volume and the melody of healthy heart echoes off the walls.
Swoosh! Swoosh! Swoosh!
“I hear it,” he croaks.
“That’s her heart,” I whisper into the phone.
“A hundred and seventeen beats per minute,” Dr. Heltzer notes.
“Is that good?” my father asks.
“Perfect,” the doctor answers.
“Oh my God! I see a penis! Is that a penis?” My mother shrieks, reaching for the pair of glasses sitting on top of her head.
“That’s a leg,” Dr. Heltzer clarifies and Blackie laughs through the phone. “C’mon baby, let’s get a good view for mom and dad…ahh…there we go,” the doctor boasts, quickly freezing the frame on the screen.
“What are we looking at, doc?” my father hisses, squinting at the screen. “Connie, give me your glasses.”
Dr. Heltzer turns to me and smiles.
“Congratulations, you’re having a girl.”
“Really?” I sob.
He nods.
“Blackie, did you hear that?”
“Yeah, baby, I heard.” There is no mistaking the emotion in his tone of voice. He pushes through it, though, and continues, “I told you we were having a daughter.”
“Thank fuck,” my father mutters. “I was starting to worry it was a boy, and we were giving it a complex.”
“Jack! Language! We’re going to have to start a swear jar for when this baby is born,” my mother says.
“Fuck a swear jar,” my father admonishes. “We’ll all be piss poor.”
“Guys,” I call. “Can we not do this right now?”
“Fine but blame your father when your daughter’s first word isfuck,” my mother says.
“Our daughter’s first word is going to beDaddy,” Blackie calls.
