Page 569 of The Tempted

After I dropped Lacey off I took a ride, killed a little time before I had to drag my ass to the methadone clinic. I’ll give Riggs credit, he’s a mastermind when it comes to computers he hacked into the clinic’s files and got the take home prescription approved. He even switched my case and provided me with a different counselor so my usual one wouldn’t get suspicious.

I should’ve went back to the compound to get some sleep before hitting the road but every time I closed my eyes I saw Lacey’s face and the fear she tried to hide from me when I dropped her off.

She doesn’t realize I have spent a long time looking at her and that I know every emotion conveyed on her face.

That mask she tries to hide behind, it don’t work with me.

I told myself I didn’t have time to get into it with Lace, work through her anxiety but I promised to handle it. I’m a man of my word but, the thing was, I didn’t have a goddamn answer for her. I didn’t know how to make this shit work for me and her. I didn’t know how I would turn to Jack and tell him I was about ready to claim his little girl. I didn’t know how to choose Lacey and tell Jack to go fuck himself because any way you sliced it that’s what I was ultimately doing.

I zipped the duffel bag, not even sure what the fuck I had thrown in there, slung it over my shoulder and started for the door. I nearly bumped into Jack as I shut the door and stepped into the hallway, flipping the glasses perched on top of my head onto my nose.

“Glad I caught you before you left,” he started.

“Just about to head out,” I said, as I locked my door. He tipped his chin towards the steps and we made our way downstairs into the common room.

“You sure you don’t want to take Bones with you?” he asked, flipping one of the chairs backwards before he straddled it.

“Nah, no need. Besides, Boots, that crazy son of a bitch isn’t going to want to see anyone’s face but mine,” I said, pulling out the chair across from him and sitting down. He passed me a cigarette and lit it for me.

“That shit needs to change. You mention that when you get face to face with the man,” he stressed, taking a pull of his cigarette. “You tell him I’m the fucking president and all deals go through me from now on. He wants to break bread; he’s going to break it at my table.”

I cocked an eyebrow as I blew out a ring of smoke. It was obvious he was on edge, fighting for control of some sort. I studied him closely, deciphering if he was on the verge of a breakdown or just morphing into his “Bulldog” persona.

“What’s got you twisted?” I questioned as he shrugged his shoulders and leaned over the chair.

“Got a lot of shit on my plate, Black. I think you know that,” he flicked his ashes. “Do I really need a fucking reason to be twisted?”

“I guess not,” I pushed back my chair. “Keep it cool Bulldog, ain’t got time for the maker so you put that motherfucker down,” I ordered as I rose to my full height. “I better head out before I lose my second wind,” I muttered.

“You don’t need to worry about me man,” he paused. “Keep doing what you doing, concentrate on you. I’m seeing pieces of my old friend break through,” he swallowed, gave me a quick nod. “Like it, Black, like it whole lot.”

I ground out the cigarette into the ashtray and turned my eyes to his. I bit the inside of my cheek as he reached out and patted my shoulder.

“Keep climbing, brother,” he encouraged.

As the words left his mouth I knew they’d sit with me for a long time, the same way they did when he told me to stand up and not drown. The only difference this time was the words he said gave me hope.

This hope thing was becoming my mantra. I was a man who coasted through life with nothing, let alone hope and now I had it in spades.

It amped me up to keep on the straight and narrow, to keep working on kicking the addictions, bettering myself so I could claim Lacey.

“I’ll keep in touch,” I said as he stood up.

“Keep yourself in one piece,” he warned.

I nodded, grabbed my bag and headed for the door.

“Black,” he called.

“Yeah?”

“I’m proud of you,” he said, simply.

Hope.

Yeah, I had that shit in spades.

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