Page 9 of Tony

“I won’t touch anything, please. Please let me, please, please,” she begged.

Knowing he should not, he felt helpless against her pleading. He loosened his hold slightly and she shot out of his arms, kneeling by the bed.

She reached out a shaking finger to just a whisper away from her sister’s cheek. Holding her breath, she touched it gently, hoping to feel the warmth. The life. But only ice cold met her touch. Her breath rushed out in a single whoosh, causing Charisse’s hair to move in the breeze. Her hair. They had the same blonde hair. Often disinterested, temporary foster parents would not take the time to tell them apart.Too much like twins,one had complained when Sherrie corrected them for the hundredth time.

Choking out a sob, she threw her head back, unleashing a wail in the room.

“Shit,” Tony ground out as he pulled her up from the floor and against his chest.Should have never let her down there, he chastised himself. Holding her shaking body tightly to his, he could not help but notice how neatly she fit into him. His arms wrapped securely around her middle with one hand cradling her head that was tucked perfectly underneath his chin with her cheek against his heart.

He had kept her at arm’s length for so long, convincing himself that he did not want her. Or need her. Or anyone. But holding her right here, right now, had his mind wondering if maybe there could be something between them. If perhaps he could try again.No. Don’t go there. Not again.His arms could not seem to listen to his mind as he continued to hold her as sobs racked her body.

She had no sense of the passage of time. She felt her hands bunch his shirt that was pressed closely to her face. Tears soaked the material, but she could not make them stop. Her legs felt gelatinous and at one point she felt his arms shift as if to hold her up. Voices began to murmur in the distance but meant nothing to her.

Matt and Shane appeared, taking in the scene efficiently. Calling it in to get the homicide detectives to the hotel, they quietly asked Tony questions. Tony answered them succinctly and if they wondered about his arms supporting Sherrie, they did not let on. He was grateful.Don’t need them reading more into this than it is.

Sherrie’s sobs had quieted, and he could feel her testing her weight as she placed her feet more firmly on the floor. She pushed ever so slightly on his arms, but his brain could not seem to tell them to let go of her. Looking down, her face was tear-streaked, shock still in her eyes.

“Sherrie?” Matt asked softly. “When was the last time you saw your sister?”

Opening her mouth to answer, her tongue seemed to have swollen, halting the words from coming out. Licking her lips, she swallowed loudly. “It…I…” Giving herself a little shake, she tried again. “A year ago. I haven’t seen or heard from her since…”

Matt nodded, well remembering how Charisse led Sherrie into a trap, trying to score a favor with a drug king-pin.

“She…she sent me a text saying she needed me,” Sherrie continued, holding out her phone for him to see.

By then the other detectives had arrived and the scene became an active investigation. Matt, Shane, and Tony gave their information to the detective in charge.

“Tony?” she called in a small voice. He looked down immediately, seeing trust mixed in with grief.

“Yeah?” he answered, more gruffly than he should have.

“What…what happens now? With her?”

Sighing, he answered gently, “They’ll take the body. They may have to do an autopsy to determine cause of death. They’ll let you know when you can have a funeral home come and pick her up.”

“Oh.” Her brain simply could not process anymore.

Recognizing that he needed to get her out of there, he walked her slowly to the outside of the room and down the hall a little ways. “I’m going to make sure that they don’t need you for anything else. Stay here, okay?”

He walked back to the room, talking with Matt and Shane for a few minutes. “Damn, guys. Charisse was a piece of work and now this? Just couldn’t stay off the drugs.”

“Sherrie gonna be okay?” Shane asked.

“Yeah. I’ll take her home in a little bit.”

“You were holding her pretty tight when we got in. She finally breaking through that tough exterior of yours?”

“Nah. Just making sure she didn’t pass out all over the crime scene, that’s all.”Damn, I’m a prick. Can’t even admit that it felt great to finally have her in my arms, even if it was from this fucked-up situation.

The men chatted a few more minutes and then Tony walked back into the hall. Looking around, seeing it empty, he sprinted to the stairs and out through lobby. A taxi was just pulling away, Sherrie’s blonde hair visible from the back.

Standing on the cold sidewalk, hands on his hips, he hung his head.She must have heard.Fighting the urge to get in his truck and race after her, he stood his ground stoically.This is why I’m no good for anyone. I just don’t know how to open myself up to those emotions anymore.

Turning he walked to his truck, pulled himself into the driver’s seat and moved into traffic.

5

A week later Sherrie sat numbly in the seat at the front of the cemetery staring at the casket. She kept things simple, knowing her sister had no friends that would have attended her funeral. In fact her sister had no friends at all, unless you counted pimps, her drug supplier, and perhaps a few strippers and hookers.

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