Page 10 of Tony

She looked at the gleaming casket, glad that the cheapest version did not look like just a box. Charisse certainly had no money, no savings, and no life insurance to help cover the costs. In fact, if Sherrie’s friends had not given some donations, she would have been paying off this bare-bones funeral for years.

Her eyes were hidden behind sunglasses even though the day was cloudy. Charisse may have been a mess as a person…but she was still her sister. The stress of the last week was bearing down on Sherrie, causing a never-ending headache. Reaching up to rub her forehead, she wished…what the hell do I wish for? That Charisse had not been such a fuck-up? That I hadn’t been pulling her ass out of the fire since we were teenagers? That I had been better…or more understanding…or something?

Her friend, Jennifer, reached over and grasped her hand, giving a gentle squeeze, startling her out of her musings. Annie, Lily, and Suzanne sat on the other side with their husbands sitting in the row behind. The minister had finished his prayer and was walking over to offer his condolences before leaving.

She stood, accepting the hugs from her friends and assured them that she was fine and just needed a little privacy. She watched them as they made their way to their cars, smiling when they glanced back.

She walked slowly toward her car, but spying a bench under a tree she made her way there. Sitting down, she wrapped her arms around her middle, trying to protect herself. From the chill. Both inside and out.

Alone. All alone. It had been her and Charisse for as long as she could remember. No uncles or aunts. No cousins. And now Sherrie was filled with the realization that she was the last in her family. She sighed loudly, the weight pressing on her chest forcing the air from her lungs.

“Do you need someone to see you home?” a deep voice came from behind that she recognized.Of course I recognize it…it’s filled my dreams ever since I first met him.And I am nothing to him. He sees me and just sees an extension of my sister. I’ll never be good enough for him.She closed her eyes for a moment, wondering if his voice was only her imagination.

“Sherrie?” the voice prompted.

She did not turn around as she answered, “No, thank you. I’m fine, Tony.”

He walked around to the front of the bench and stopped directly in front of her. “I wanted to say that I’m sorry. About your sister. About…”

Leaning her head way back so that she could see his face, she replied, “It’s fine. I’ll be fine.”

“I’d like to see you home,” he said, squatting so that she did not have to lean back so far.

She looked at his face. She had memorized every facet. From his short, dark hair to his square jaw with just a hint of stubble. And those eyes. The color of warm caramel. She wanted to lean into his chest and feel his arms around her. She wanted to know what it would be like to have him take her home, sit with her and hold her.

She stood from the bench, a forced a smile on her face. “Thank you, but I’m fine,” she said for the hundredth time that week.Maybe if I keep saying it, it will eventually be the truth.

She moved around him quickly and walked to her car, hearing him walk behind her. She opened the door and turned to see that she could not shut it with him standing in the way.

“Tony, you’re good to go. I don’t need babysitting. I’m just going to go home and rest for a while.”

He stood for a moment, indecision written plainly on his face before just nodding and closing her door. She drove slowly out of the cemetery and told herself that she would not look in the rear-view mirror. But she did…and seeing Tony standing there alone instead of holding her almost broke her heart.

* * *

A week later, Sherrie found herself back in her car with nothing in her rear-view mirror but highway. Mr. Marks had called her in and told her that he was forcing her to take a break.

“Listen to an old man, my dear. I’ve buried loved ones before and you need to take some time for yourself. I talked to my wife and we agreed that we’d like you to get away. We’ve got a little cabin that’s less than two hours from here that’s in the mountains. It’s kind of rustic, but we keep it stocked and with a few of your own groceries, you’ll have everything that you need.”

After much protesting on her part and insisting on his, she acquiesced. Her girlfriends had all come by the day after the funeral to check on her but right now seeing them only brought to mind what she did not have. Family. They were all married, some with children.I love them but right now, I just need to get away.

After packing for a weekend trip, she loaded her car with luggage and some food. Glancing at the gray sky that matched her mood, she put the directions in her GPS and started out. After a while, she gave Jennifer a quick call to let her know where she was going.

“Sherrie, are you crazy? Haven’t you heard the weather reports?” Jennifer asked with concern.

“I haven’t really had the TV on this week,” Sherrie had to admit.

“Honey, there’s a snow storm coming. In fact, it’s heading our way right now and you’re heading for the Blue Ridge Mountains where it’s going to hit before Richmond.”

Sherrie sighed, a moment of indecision flitting through her mind. “Jennifer, I’m going on. I just need to get out of town and I’ll be fine. Once I get there, I’ll just sleep and read. That’s all I need right now.”

“Oh, honey. Please be careful. I’m worried about you.”

“Don’t be. It’s not like I’ll be out in the weather. I’ll be snug in a cabin and can just weather the storm.” Giving a snort, she added, “Kind of like I’ve been doing my whole life.”

“Sherrie, just make sure to take care of yourself, let me hear from you, and stay warm. And when you get back, we’ll talk.”

She smiled. Jennifer was a social worker who worried about everybody and being her friend was comforting as well as fun. “Fine, as soon as I get back, we’ll get together.”

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