Page 37 of Perfect Mess

Janet must have seen the torment on my face though, because she reached over and grabbed my hand. “Mary? What’s wrong? You look like you’re going to pass out. Maybe you should go sit down.”

“I’m fine.”

“You’re not upset I’m talking to Jack, are you? He told me he apologized and the two of you made up. But if you’re still mad at him for what he did back in high school …”

Why did everyone have to keep dredging up high school? Why couldn’t everyone just let me suppress my emotional traumas so I could let it all out in one self destructive life spiral during a midlife crisis like everyone else?

“Of course I’m not still mad at him,” I said. “What kind of person holds on to something like that for twenty years?”Me.

Janet cocked her head, studying my face as if she could see right through my skull and into my brain. “You don’t still have feelings for him, right?”

“Feelings for him?” I barked out a laugh. “Janet, you’re my best friend. You’ve known me my whole life. Better than anyone. So you, of all people, know I don’t have any feelings.” I did my best to make a smile.

“So, are we going to play some pickleball here or what?” Jack waved his paddle from the other side of the court.

Janet gave me a big hug. “You’re the best friend anybody could ask for.” She skipped to join Jack, an extra bounce in her step, leaving me with Howard.

Turning back to my partner, I said, “Well, that’s it then. I guess it’s just you and me.”

“My name is Howard!”

* * *

When the lesson was over,Jack went to check on Edna, who was still attempting to reassemble her teeth. Janet came over to my side of the court, while everyone else was busy packing up their gear. “So? What do you think? We make a pretty good team, huh?”

I looked at Janet like she had just asked me to solve an algebra problem in Mandarin Chinese, using sign language. True, they were a phenomenal pickleball team. In pickleball, Janet could be lethal. And Jack, well, apparently, he really was good at everything because he looked like he had been playing pickleball his entire life.

But other than pickleball, Jack and Janet couldn’t have been more wrong for each other. Janet had a history of falling for the wrong guy and then going too far, too fast. And I still wasn’t entirely sure if Jack had really changed. Jack and Janet talking on the phone and hanging out as friends was one thing, but anything more than that was a disaster waiting to happen. I was about to tell Janet exactly that when Dick and Mabel walked over.

“Hey Mary, guess what Dick gave me.” Mabel held up her middle finger. For the life of me, I had no idea why Mabel was flicking me off. Then I realized it wasn’t her middle finger she was showing me, it was her ring finger. With a ring on it, big and sparkly. “Dick proposed!”

The commotion had drawn a crowd, and the other senior pickleballers oohed and aahed appropriately.

Dick put his arm around Mabel’s shoulder. “And to think, we wouldn’t have even met if it wasn’t for you, Mary.” It was true. After introducing Dick and Mabel at one of my pickleball classes, I was the one who encouraged Dick to ask Mabel out. And then encouraged Mabel to say yes to Dick’s invitation.

“There’s going to be an engagement party,” Mabel announced. “And everyone’s invited.”

Dick said, “As you can see, we are very old. So most of our friends are dead now. We could use all the support we can get, so the first round is on me!” There was an eruption of applause.

Mabel turned back to us. “You two are coming, I hope.”

“Of course! Wouldn’t miss it,” Janet answered. “Right Mary?”

“Right. Sure. Of course.”

A sly look spread across Mabel’s face as she leaned in close to Janet. “And bring your new friend, Jack, too.”

ChapterTen

After pickleball, Janet suggested we all stop for drinks, and I badly needed one, so we did. On the drive over, I decided I needed reinforcements, so I called Ralph to join us. It was a new place called the Axe 2 Grinder. The reviews said the food was edible; the drinks were cheap, and they had axe throwing, which for some reason sounded like a good idea at the time.

While Ralph and I grabbed a table, Jack went to fetch a bucket of beer at the bar and Janet went to get the waivers for the throwing cage. It was like a batting cage, except instead of swinging at baseballs with a bat, you hurl axes at chunks of wood with a bullseye painted on them.

While we were still alone, Ralph leaned in close. “So let me get this straight. Janet and Jack. They’retogethertogether?”

“Well, nottogethertogether. Just together, I think. Janet told me they were only hanging out.”

“You know it’s your fault, right? You were the one trying to get Janet to find someone to hook up with, and now it looks like she found someone. Karma.” Ralph was right. It was the Universe f-ing with me.

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