Page 16 of Perfect Mess

Janet bounced the ball on the ground to serve. “That’s because I had to use another phone.”

WHACK.

The ball sailed over the net, and Dick smacked it back at me. Besides the trash talking, Dick and Mabel were also renown for their lethal strokes. Dick was a “banger”, shooting balls hard and fast. Mabel was more of a “dinker”, playing low and slow. Together, they made a formidable opponent.

“Whose phone did you use?” The ball landed right in front of me and I started the forward motion of my swing.

“Jack’s.”

THWACK!

My shot sailed over the net, over Mable, over the fence, and into the retention pond next to the parking lot. “You used Jack’s phone?”

“He let me borrow it. Since mine was stuck in the mud.”

“How did you get both your car and your phone stuck in the mud?”

“How Mary? Well, let’s see. Maybe because my best friend insisted I go to some stupid high school reunion in the middle of nowhere with insufficient parking. So I had to park my car in the middle of a cow field which turned into mud as soon as it rained. And then when I called a tow truck I slipped and my phone went flying. But it was dark so I couldn’t see anything and now my phone’s gone.”

“You two okay?” Mabel looked over in concern.

“We’re fine. Your serve.” I tossed Mabel a new ball and settled into position.

As Mabel served the ball toward me, Janet said, “I’m just glad Jack was there to rescue me.”

The ball bounced, and I swung hard, completely missing.

“One nil!” Mabel called. In pickleball, you only get points when you serve.

“So Jack helped you get your car out of the mud?” I asked.

“Not exactly.” Janet said. “It was stuck pretty good. We called a tow truck on the ride home.”

“Ride home?”

“Yeah, Jack drove me home. Thank goodness he was there.”

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, Jack Thompson drove Janet home? I didn’t know what to think. Surely, he was just being nice, except Jack Thompson wasn’t nice, Jack Thomson was evil incarnate.Wasn’t he?

We continued playing, blocking and parrying, dinking and banging. During an intense rally, I had to duck to avoid Dick’s forehand giving me a lobotomy. We exchanged another round of serves and another round of points. Mabel smashed a line drive forehand, and I completely whiffed. I was off my game, distracted by what Janet told me about Jack. Turns out, she was just warming up.

“Did you know he never got married?” asked Janet.

I picked myself up off the pavement after tripping over my paddle. “I saw he wasn’t wearing a ring when he was checking me for damages. How do you know he’s never been married?”

“He told me when we stopped for coffee.”

“You stopped for coffee?”

“I bought him a coffee for helping me out.”

Janet lobbed the ball over Mabel’s head. “Although drinking caffeine that late probably wasn’t a good idea because then we were up for hours.”

Mabel chased down Janet’s ball and hit it back. I watched helplessly as the ball bounced right between my legs for another point. “Hours?”

Janet shrugged. “Just a few. Then he drove me home.” Janet returned the next serve, clearly oblivious to my inner torment.Surely she didn’t spend all that extra time with Jack on purpose?

The ball landed deep on my side and bounced high. I smashed it back at Mable as hard as I could. Somehow, Mabel got to the ball in time and sent a blistering shot back. I barely got my paddle positioned in time to protect my crotch.

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