Page 58 of Shadow

“I never force women,” I whispered. “But I forced her because I wanted to save Sirena. Cady was collateral damage. Sirena is going to hate me when she finds out. I’ll lose her.”

Church hadn’t said a damn word the entire time. I couldn’t even look at him. I was ashamed of myself, but I also knew I’d do it again because Sirena meant the world to me. Maybe had I not been so fucked up on whatever Adam had used to drug me, I’d have been able to think clearer. It didn’t matter now, though.

“I’m thinking about moving out. Maybe in with Asylum if he’ll let me,” I continued.

“Bryce is staying with him,” Church said, finally breaking his silence.

I nodded. I figured as much. It was fine. There were other places I could sleep. It didn’t matter where I was as long as Sirena was safe.

“Did you come?” Church asked after a moment of silence.

I stared down at my hands, sobbing softly again.

“Sinclair, did you come inside Cadence?”

I nodded wordlessly.

He let out a snarl before slamming his hands against the steering wheel. “That bitch isn’t on birth control.”

My guts plummeted, and I looked at him. “What? Ho-How do you know?”

“You don’t think I don’t know shit like this? The moment I saw you both naked in the mausoleum, I got her file and looked up her meds. Guess what? Birth control isn’t one of them. She’s on some anxiety bullshit, and that’s it. Nothing else.”

My cry came out in a sputter this time. Fuck.FUCK.

“I’m not going to withhold that information from you. There’s no point in it. We may as well lay it all out on the table. I don’t know if she’s knocked up or not. I’ll be sure to get her tested, though.” He tightened his hands on the steering wheel.

“And then what?” I whispered. “I-I can’t lose another kid, man?—”

Church shook his head, a muscle thrumming along his jaw. “We don’t know anything yet. I just wanted you to be aware of the situation.”

“Fuck.” I held my head in my hands. “Goddamnit!” I rocked in my seat, my heart completely shredded. I wanted my next baby to be with Sirena. I dreamed of our little boy carrying Bill around the house and giggling as his tail tickled his chubby cheek.

And it may all be blown to pieces before I get it because the last thing I wanted was to have a kid with her sister.

But I would. I’d own up and be a father.

I fucking would because I owed it to Cady for what I’d done in a bid to save my siren.

* * *

We walkedinto the house later that afternoon after we’d gotten high in Church’s Bronco as a means to calm me the fuck down. I was still a little blitzed out of my head as we entered the house.

Ashes and Stitches got to their feet and greeted me. I darted my gaze around, looking for Sirena.

“She’s with Asylum and Bryce,” Ashes said.

I breathed out. Good. I wasn’t sure I could face her anyway.

“Cady is upstairs,” Stitches added. “Being an asshole.”

Church let out a discontented sigh, allowing his gaze to wander to the stairway, a sour look on his face.

“How are you feeling?” Ashes asked as I sat on the couch. They all took up their spots, Church going to his chair.

“Not good,” I choked out, wiping my eyes. “I fucked up.”

“Sinclair, you were in a shitty situation. You didn’t know what to do, so you did what you could,” Ashes said gently, sliding over to sit next to me. He rubbed my back. “We understand.”

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