Page 18 of Rebel in the Deep

“This won’t feel good,” he says quietly to Bastian. “But it will heal your internal damage and allow me to check for any unknown injuries. May I put my hands on you?”

“Yes,” Bastian rasps.

I clench my fists and hold my place, fighting not to turn around when Bastian makes a faint pained noise and something pops in his body and then pops again. It’s not a fast process.

Healing magic is a tricky thing, regardless of what being or culture is doing it. Most healers only encourage the body to do what it does best. Some methods, like a vampire’s blood, override the body’s normal processes andforceit to heal.

The universe craves balance, no matter what realm a being inhabits. Most healing pulls on the body’s reserves—both healer and patient. Things like vampire blood work well in the short term but lose efficiency over time, a neat little quirk to encourage vampires to create more of themselves, since theirbirth rates are notoriously low. All immortals have that problem, to avoid overrunning every realm in existence with their progeny.

I’m doing a poor job of trying to distract myself from what’s going on behind me. I can smell blood and something sour—his wrists are infected. Bastian breathes heavily as Orchid works on him. It feels like a small eternity before Orchid exhales slowly. “That’s the worst of it. Have a small meal and drink water consistently—in small sips—to help your body continue to heal itself.”

“Thank you.”

Orchid shifts, and that’s my cue to turn back around. He nods to me. “I appreciate the privacy. I’ll check on him in the morning, but I need to look over the rest of the crew. There were a few minor injuries that need my attention.”

“Of course.” I move out of the way to let him pass.

It’s only when he’s gone that I realize how much his presence and the immediate threat bolstered my courage to face Bastian. Now, with him sitting there staring at me with his pretty, dark eyes, the small cowardly part of myself that I never let see the light is whimpering for a retreat.

“You came for me.” He searches my expression. “Or was it the rebellion that came for me?”

The urge to protect my heart is nearly overwhelming. It hasn’t been very long since we threw hard and vicious words at each other, since he called me a coward for not wanting to push the rebellion into direct confrontation with the Cwn Annwn.

He’s right. I am a coward. We can’t take back what we did tonight. Morrigan knows I’m alive, and she’s smart enough towonder what else I might have been up to for the last sixteen years. “You’re getting your way. They know about us now.”

“That’s all you have to say to me?”

No. The things I want to say to him are climbing over themselves in the back of my throat, choking me. “Bastian—”

“Never mind. It’s worse than you think.” He moves stiffly, trying to pull his shirt over his head. “After I clean up, we need to talk to Nox about next steps.”

“I can—”

“I’ve got it,” Bastian snaps. “I’d like some privacy, please.”

There’s nothing to say, and even if I tried, I would no doubt make it worse. It was never difficult with Bastian. He’s charming and beautiful and, from the moment we met, it was soeasyto be around him. I took that for granted. Apparently I’m still taking that for granted.

I slip out of the bathroom and close the door softly behind me. Things were so much simpler when I was just a shadow among thousands upon thousands of them. One piece helping coordinate the others moving to a greater purpose.

I can’t stay in Nox’s bedroom, waiting to see which one of them will walk through the door first. Not to mention…Bastian is more likely to eat the provided food if I’m not around to stand over him. I slip out onto the deck and move to the helm, where Nox is perched, their coat streaming dramatically out behind them.

I glance around. The sandbar and other ships are nowhere in sight. It’s difficult to gauge exactly where we are, but I think we’re heading northeast.

Nox doesn’t take their gaze from the horizon. “Orchid says he’ll make a full recovery.”

“That seems to be the case.”

“Is he still angry with you?”

I blink. “Excuse me?”

“That’s why you’re out here with me instead of in there giving him a bath, right?” They shoot me a wicked grin. “Unless you actually prefermycompany, in which case…I can be convinced.”

I know they’re just flirting to keep the attention away fromtheirrelationship fallout with Bastian, but I can’t help the image that springs into my head in response to their words. Of them in my arms, their gray eyes alight with wicked mischief. I can’t help wondering how they’d taste.

“Stop trying to distract me from the fact that you’re just as bothered by his presence aboard as I am.” I clear my throat. “He’s still angry with me, yes. Angry enough that if I stick around, we’ll end up fighting. He needs to eat.”

“As good an excuse as any. As to the other?” They shrug. “We’re ancient history.”

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