Page 19 of Rebel in the Deep

“Nox.” I don’t have to glance around to ensure we’re not being overheard. There’s no one close enough, and all of them are intent on their goal of getting us as far away from our enemy as possible. “Pretend with others. Don’t pretend with me.”

They sigh, their shoulders slumping. “You don’t get to demand that kind of intimacy from me, Siobhan. I believe in your cause and I believe inyou, but some scars don’t heal—they fester. I would love to say that I’m a gracious and lovely person who doesn’t hold a broken heart against my ex fourteen years later, but it’s not the truth. I love a grudge as much as I love my ship. And he’s the one who taught me that.”

Because Bastian hurt Nox so intensely. I only know the basics of what happened: that Nox wanted Bastian to come with them when they left Lyari, that he chose his family over them. Bastian avoided saying more than that about Nox, and Nox’s only condition to joining the rebellion was that I never talk about Bastian.

And now I need to get them both to agree to work together.

“Morrigan isn’t going to give up,” I say finally. “Especially now that she knows I’m alive.” I still haven’t processedthat, but I have no intention of thinking about it too closely anytime soon. I may have been using a vast network of people to undermine the hold the Cwn Annwn have on Threshold, but we intentionally kept to the shadows.

I’m terrified of what it means to step into the light.

“I’m aware.” Nox finally looks at me, eyes narrowed. “Just like I was aware that Morrigan had a sister—but I was under the impression that her sister died in the same fire that killed her parents about two years before I left the city.”

If I close my eyes, I can still see the flames licking up the curtains. “Our parents died in that fire. I chose to use it to escape Lyari.”

Nox’s hands tighten on the helm. “You lied to me.”

“No, I didn’t. I just didn’t disclose all the information.” When they open their mouth, I hold up my hand. “Come on, Nox. I’m the leader of the damned rebellion. You knew when you signed on that you weren’t getting my life story and every detail about me.”

“That’s true.” They sigh. “It’s also true that it would have been nice to know that you were a noble.”

“It doesn’t matter.” Even as I say it, I know it for a lie. It would matter even if I wasn’t sister to Morrigan. Itespeciallymatters because I am.

The look Nox gives me says as much without them uttering a single word. But this isNox, so of course they have more to say. “Morrigan wasn’t likely to let us abscond with Bastian without a prolonged and violent chase. Now that she knowsyou’reon my ship? She’s going to come at us with everything she has.”

I want to argue with them, but everything they’ve said is true. “You’re right.”

“I usually am.”

Eyal walks up, giving us both a wary look. “You need to get some sleep, Captain. You’re weaving on your feet.”

“I’ll hold until we’re clear.”

Eyal shakes his head. “I spoke with Poet. The teams we sent did a good job of sabotaging the rudders of the support ships. Even if their respective crews have someone with a helpful flavor of magic, it will take a few hours to fix. If they don’t, it will be a lot longer.” He motions behind us. “TheBone Heartwill also take some time to repair after Bowen and you tore holes in the deck and hull. I can keep us on course while you rest. We’re running our air-users in shifts so there’s always someone fresh in case we need to pick up the pace.”

Nox smiles faintly. “You seem to have thought of everything. What do you need me for again?”

“You know we’re lost without you.” Eyal nods at the helm. “Sleep. I will send someone to wake you if there’s so much as a peep of wrongness.”

I recognize a losing battle when I see one. It takes Nox a few seconds longer to admit defeat. They release the helm and stepback. “I suppose a few hours won’t hurt.” They nod at me. “Come on. We need to know what Bastian told them—and if he picked up any useful information during his time aboard theBone Heart.”

It’s only as I fall into step next to them that I fully register the fact that we’re about to walk back into the room where Bastian waits.

There’s no avoiding the coming conversation.

Chapter9

Bastian

I’m as shaky as anewborn, but I manage to get clean without having to call for help. I don’t think my pride could manage it, which is pathetic considering Siobhan and Nox just launched the rescue mission to end all rescue missions to save me. Hiding in the bathroom instead of facing them sounds like a wonderful idea, but havingthemcome to me here is unthinkable.

All this to say, I’m a damned mess.

I step out of the shower and dry myself off as quickly as possible. Which is right around the moment when I realize I don’t have any clothing that I can bear putting back on my body. I would happily burn the outfit I spent the last however many days wearing.

For lack of a better plan, I wrap a towel around my waist and step carefully through the doorway into the bedroom. Someone has left food for me on the table, and with no one to witness, I fall on it like the starved creature I am. There’s no spacefor decorum when my stomach is an ache that makes me woozy. I clean the tray and sit back, exhaustion setting in. Even though I bloody well know better, I inhale deeply. It smells like Nox in here. I don’t know how fourteen years aren’t enough to banish the memory of them.

And then the person themself walks through the door, dressed exactly as they were when they saved me, from head to toe in crimson, their blond hair spiky on top from the salt of seawater. They stop short when they see me, and even though I’ve seen better days, their cool gray gaze still skates over my bare chest and lingers where my hand grips the towel.

---