Page 61 of The Love Haters

“So we’re in this together,” Cole went on. “You’re doing something for me that I really don’t want to do, and I’m saving you from getting axed and crying in the elevator like Jaden.”

Did I want to cry in the elevator like Jaden?

I very much did not.

I sighed, and said, “Fine. Okay. I’ll ask again. Nicer.”

I WAS ABOUTto call Beanie to process all this… when the phone in my hand started ringing—and it was Beanie.

“I was literally just about to call you,” I said, by way of a greeting.

“How are you feeling?” she asked. “Are you holding up okay?”

For a second, I thought she was talking about the layoffs. But she couldn’t know about those. “How am I feeling about what?” I asked.

“About Lucas!”

Lucas? “Why would I be feeling anything about Lucas?”

“Oh,” Beanie said. “You haven’t heard it yet.”

“Heard what?”

“Lucas just dropped a new song. And it’s about you.”

I held very still. Then I said, “How do you know?”

“Because it’s all about him dumping you.”

“I’m not the only person he’s ever dumped,” I said. Right? By that criteria, there were at least three other candidates—that I knew of.

“Yeah,” Beanie said. “But the title of the song is ‘Katie.’”

Ah. Well, then.

Beanie went on, “It’s all over TikTok. And YouTube. And everywhereelse. The video is him just wandering around in a field of grass, and looking forlorn, and wearing that little knitted hat you made for him after he found out he was allergic to wool.”

“That,” I asked, “is taking over the internet? Lucas in a knitted cap?”

“It’s all about how stupid he was to let you go.”

“No argument there.”

“And then it ends with a lyric that’s so epic, this girl I follow already got a tattoo of it.”

“What’s the lyric?”

“Love is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.”

“That’s John Lennon! He plagiarized John Lennon!”

“Nope. I saw a thread about this. John Lennon’s version says ‘life,’ not ‘love.’ ‘Lifeis what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.’ Also some people are saying it was Henry David Thoreau. Or Beyoncé.”

“It’s still plagiarism.”

“Not according to a bunch of random strangers on the internet.”

“He can’t changeoneword and pretend he didn’t steal it!”

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