Page 60 of The Love Haters

“I told her that you were already filming a ‘Day in the Life’ video with Hutch.”

“What?!”

“And, okay, that it was almost done. And that I’d seen some clips, and it was awesome. And that you were going to be the next big thing. But I also emphasized the many, many shirtless shots of Hutch. And then I mentioned—in an unrelated way—that Hutch is single.”

“Implying—what, exactly?”

“Implying that if she doesn’t fire you, you might be able to set her up with him.”

“Cole! What the hell!”

“I may also have showed her some old beach photos of shirtless Hutch looking handsome.”

I put my head in my hands. “Whyyyy would you do that?”

“Look, we have to use everything in our arsenal. Word is, Sullivan’s in she-wolf mode.”

“What does that even mean?”

“She’s got a man-starved vibe about her.”

“I thought you said she was all work all the time!”

“Well,” Cole said, “she’s had a rough year. And a six-minute mini-documentary on Hutch might really appeal to her. On a deep level. Do you see what I mean? He could turn this whole thing around. Especially if you can get him to jump-rope shirtless.”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying when you’ve just had a mouthwatering meal, you don’t turn around and fire the chef.”

“But don’t you see how you just made things worse?”

“You should be thanking me. Your head was on the chopping block. And guess what else? She was into it! She wants to see that ‘Day in the Life.’ She got so excited she even talked about all the vacation time she’s never used and how she might just come to Key West.”

“Donotlet her come to Key West!”

“If you hurry up and get this video made, she won’t have to.”

“That makes no sense. Thereisno ‘Day in the Life’ video with Hutch. It’snotalmost done—and, as of yesterday, it’s never going to even start!”

“You’re going to have to fix that.”

“How, exactly?”

“Ask him again. Nicer.”

“He already said no.”

“Tell him the truth. Tell him your job is on the line. He’s got a savior complex. Use it against him.”

Why did that sound so sinister?

“I have a nuclear option,” Cole said next. “But I’d rather not use it.”

“Why are you helping me?” I asked him then.

I don’t know what I was expecting from his answer, but Cole just said, “If you get canned, then I’ll have to take over the Coast Guard project. And then I’ll have to make a video about what a hero my big brother is. And I don’t really want to do that.”

I let that land.

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