Page 60 of The Paris Chapter

‘I’m sorry, Juliette. I am so grateful we met.’ I zipped up my case and pulled it upright. ‘Maybe we’ll see each other again sometime.’

Juliette came over and gave me a tight hug. ‘Do not forget you are amazing, okay?’ she said softly into my ear. ‘You deserve to be loved for exactly who you are.’

A lump lodged itself in my throat. I gave her a quick squeeze back, fighting the urge to lie down on her guest bed and cry. ‘Thank you for everything,’ I choked out before grabbing my things and leaving her.

‘Ready, baby?’ Joe asked, jumping up from the sofa when I walked through.

‘Yep,’ I said, trying to smile.

‘Got us all booked on the next Eurostar. Let’s go home.’

I followed him out, glancing behind me before I walked out of Juliette’s front door, a wave of sadness washing over me. I couldn’t stay here now that Ethan and I were over, but it was a wrench to leave at the same time.

‘You’re doing the right thing,’ Joe said, seeing my face. He led me out of Juliette’s building and into a waiting taxi to take us to the train station. Joe was always confident and decisive. It was nice to just let him organise everything so I didn’t have to think. I ignored the prickling feeling in the back of my mind that being with someone who didn’t want you to think wasn’t a good thing.

As we arrived at the station and had all our documents checked for the Eurostar, I looked at my phone. There was nothing from Ethan. He clearly didn’t care that I was leaving, I almost sent a message to Carly to tell her I was heading home but decided I couldn’t face it. She would want to know why and I knew she would be like Juliette and think I was crazy to be leaving with Joe, for even entertaining the idea of trying again with him. So I was a coward and put my phone away.

We soon boarded the waiting train. Joe stowed our bags and we sat down next to one another.

‘I am so happy you’re giving us a second chance,’ Joe said, reaching over to squeeze my thigh.

‘I didn’t say that,’ I corrected him. ‘We have a lot to talk about.’

‘You’re coming home with me; that’s enough to show me that you do still love me. We are meant to be. So why did you decide to come to Paris on your own?’

‘I needed a change of scenery,’ I told him. The train started up then and I looked out of the window as we left Paris still bathed in sunshine. I had felt like Paris had been good for me but now I wasn’t so sure. It suddenly seemed like I was back to exactly who I was when I had first sat on the Eurostar fleeing London. I crossed my legs so that Joe’s hand slipped off my knee.

‘I’m glad you got it out of your system. I was so shocked when Ethan said you’d come on our trip. I thought, that’s not like my Tessa…’ Joe grinned at me. ‘Now you’re back where you belong.’

I forced out a smile and Joe pulled out his phone to check his emails. I leaned back in my seat, glad of the silence. I should have felt happy that Joe wanted me back, that I was going home. But I couldn’t feel it. I told myself to shake it off. My chapter in Paris was over. Like I said to Juliette, it had just been a holiday. Holidays have to end after all. I needed to focus now on the future.

Turning to Joe, I said, ‘I have started writing my next book. I’m setting it in Paris but?—’

‘Sorry, baby, I need to just focus on this for a bit. Why don’t you read or something?’

I didn’t answer but I reached into my bag and pulled out my Kindle. On the way here, I hadn’t been able to read the book my publicist Stevie had given me,First Impressionsby Liv Jones, because I’d felt so betrayed by love. I thought about how Ethan had been reading my book in Paris. Joe didn’t even want to hear about my writing. I believed in love again but I knew that was thanks to Ethan and not the man sitting beside me. Everything felt all upside down suddenly. I shut out the feeling that things had gone completely wrong and tried to lose myself in someone else’s love story.

29

We arrived in London at dusk. Predictably, it was raining in my home city, a far cry from the spring-like day I’d left behind me in Paris. I hoped it wasn’t a bad omen. Joe needed to see his father so he suggested that I go round to his flat in the morning and we’d have brunch. I felt almost in a trance as I agreed to it and let him give me a quick kiss on the lips. I didn’t feel anything when his lips touched mine, but I told myself I was just shattered from such a long day and all the upheaval, not to mention the train journey. Joe put me in a taxi with my things and I exhaled heavily as I was finally left alone.

The taxi took me from St Pancras to my flat in Putney. We drove over the bridge and I looked at the familiar River Thames welcoming me home. The rain was coming down in sheets by the time we reached my building. I paid the driver and rushed inside, but I was soaked when I walked through the door.

I propped up my suitcase and switched on the lights in the living room. I’d found this flat in a mad panic after moving out of Joe’s. Carly and Luke had wanted me to move into theirs, but they had one bedroom and I didn’t want them to deal with myheartbreak more than they were already. I’d taken the first flat I’d found that wasn’t extortionate rent. It was further out in London than I’d ever lived but it was close to the river. I could hear birdsong here and not just traffic and the view out of the small window in the living room showed trees and not just buildings as far as the eye could see.

I looked around now. I’d barely done anything other than unpack my things. It hadn’t been furnished and I had only bought the bare minimum to make it liveable. So it felt empty compared to the Paris Airbnb and Juliette’s place. I opened up my case and pulled out the print Ethan had got me and the things I had bought with him in Paris. I would have to wait a while for the furniture that was being shipped. I carried everything through and placed it in the living room, and instantly it felt homelier.

I put the chess set on my coffee table with a heavy heart. It inevitably reminded me of Ethan, and playing our games in the Airbnb together.

I won’t have anyone to play chess with now.

My phone beeped then and I checked to see an email had come through from Gita, my editor. An uneasy feeling spread through me as I read it.

Hi Tessa,

Just checking in as we get close to your deadline. How’s the book coming? Do you have a title for me yet? I’m excited to read it. I hope you had a fabulous trip. Let me know…

All the best,

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