Page 61 of The Paris Chapter

Gita.

‘Oh God,’ I said aloud to my empty flat. I had no idea what she would say when I confessed I only had a few chapters written.I had been hoping to get more done on my extended stay in Paris but now I was home, I didn’t know how well I would be able to write. After all, I had been so stuck before I went away.

Telling myself I would deal with everything tomorrow, I went into my bedroom. In theory, it was far too early to go to bed but I needed to change after getting wet in the rain, so it made sense to pull on my pjs. I was tired, it was dark and my flat had nothing in so I let myself crawl under the covers and block it all out for just one more night.

The following morning, I decided to walk to Joe’s flat even though it took about an hour. I picked up a takeaway tea on the way. The morning was dry but breezy, but I needed that to clear my head. I had slept for hours and I felt bleary-eyed today.

It had been a crazy twenty-four hours.

One minute, I had been homeware shopping with Ethan and scared that Carly was right and I was rushing into things with him, then Joe had turned up and everything had changed. Ethan would be waking up ready to start making plans with Juliette for their restaurant in Paris while I was here in London walking to meet my ex who wanted me back. Definitely something I hadn’t seen coming.

I approached Joe’s building with caution. I had moved in there in such a hurry when I’d had to leave my flat suddenly.

‘You’re moving in with him?’ Carly and Luke had exchanged an uneasy look when I had gone round to tell them Joe had asked me to stay at his.

‘I know it’s quick…’

‘How well can you know someone after only six weeks?’ Carly said.

‘It does feel quite sudden,’ Luke added, more diplomatically.

‘I’m happy,’ I had replied. I was so head over heels for Joe that I didn’t want to listen to my friends. If anything, I felt kind of smug that I’d had a whirlwind romance whereas theirs was a stable, comfortable relationship. Looking back, that was one of the only times Carly had given me unsolicited advice, and I’d ignored it. The second time was being worried about me staying in Paris with Ethan in case I rushed into something for the second time and ended up with a broken heart again.

As I looked up at the building I had shared with Joe for six months, I knew Carly would be even more worried about this. This time, I wouldn’t be surprised by her worry. I would expect it. And that was why I hadn’t told her yet. I knew deep down that hiding something from your best friend because you knew they wouldn’t approve meant you knew it wasn’t quite right. But I remembered how upset I had been when I saw Joe with Rachel, how much I had loved him and wanted him to love me the same. I had felt so rejected that night but now Joe wanted me again.

Two months ago, I would have been desperate for this reunion. But today, I hesitated on the doorstep before ringing his flat and being buzzed in. I got in the lift and went up to his top-floor flat, the door swinging open before I could knock.

‘There you are,’ he said, stepping back to let me inside, closing the door behind us. Then he reached for me, pulling me towards him and pressing his lips against mine.

The same thing happened again as it had in Paris. I leaned in for a moment and returned the kiss, but then I didn’t know if I wanted it or not. Luckily, he kept it brief and pulled away with a grin.

‘Welcome home,’ Joe said.

I looked around. The flat was unchanged since I was last in it. With my things gone, it was as if I had never been here. I’d livedhere for six months but he hadn’t changed anything except giving me a drawer and part of his wardrobe. It was all plush carpet, white walls, leather furniture and gadgets. The ultimate bachelor pad. I’d said nothing about it though. I hadn’t tried to make my mark on it. But instead of that making him want me more, he had let me leave.

‘I’ve ordered us brunch; I thought we probably would want to stay in and talk… and make up,’ Joe said, throwing me a grin. ‘I ordered from our favourite place.’

He meant his favourite place, of course. I walked over to the island where brunch was laid out along with glasses of Bucks Fizz. I ignored his comment about making up. I definitely wasn’t ready for anything like that. I had only recently been in someone else’s arms. I told myself to stop thinking about Ethan, but it was so hard when I looked at the brunch and knew that Ethan could have cooked me something even more delicious himself.

‘Oh, and I got you something…’

I turned to see Joe bringing over a box. He laid it on the island and opened it up. Peering inside, my heart sank to see a silky black dress inside.

‘So I can take you out tonight somewhere fancy.’

‘With your father?’ I asked, looking away from the dress, knowing I would hate having to wear it.

‘Huh?’ Joe sat at one of the stools and took a sip of Bucks Fizz. ‘Sit. It’s getting cold.’

I slid onto the stool next to him but knew even though I hadn’t had dinner, I wouldn’t be able to eat anything; it all just felt… off. I felt off being here again. I looked around. It had never felt like home, I realised now. ‘I just wondered if I’d meet your family now you’re not with Rachel. They can know about me now, right?’

Joe shifted on the stool. ‘Sure, at some point. But we bothwant it to just be us for a while, right? Make up for the time we lost…’ He reached over and squeezed my thigh. ‘You’ll look so hot in that dress tonight, baby, and then you can stay over. I missed you in our bed.’

‘This is all moving too fast. You only just told me you missed me,’ I said, feeling a bit panicked at how he seemed to think we would just go back to how we were two months ago before I knew about Rachel.

‘What more is there to say?’ Joe asked.

‘Well, what about Rachel?’

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