I couldn’t afford this.
I couldn’t survive him.
I barely survived the first time.
“Let’s see how fast this baby can really go.” I blinked rapidly, trying to push the memory of his teasing invitation aside.That was then.This was now.Only the past and present had a funny way of overlapping and getting all mixed up.
Looking at him, I saw the polished man before me and the arrogant, insolent, wild thing he used to be.I saw everything about him that had, for some reason, turned me into a brainless, careless idiot.
“That’s what stage names are for,” I concluded with a shrug.“Anyway, that was another lifetime.”
“Yes, it was.”His jaw ticked, and his nostrils flared.I had to be imagining this, or did he have the audacity to look angry?He certainly didn’t look at me like an old friend.I was a bug he wanted to squash.
He wasn’t the only one with the skill to see through people.
“Anyway…” Lex cleared his throat, and dammit, I had almost forgotten he was standing there.I had forgotten Penny too.Everything else had ceased to exist.
The man still had a strange power over me.
I turned my full attention onto Lex.“It’s nice to see so many people in attendance in your dad’s honor,” I offered, shaking his hand.“He looked great up there while giving his speech.What’s it like, inheriting such fantastic genes?”
His broad shoulders shook when he laughed.“If I’m in half his shape once I reach that age, I’ll be the luckiest bastard alive.”
Meanwhile, Spencer stared holes through me while I pretended not to care.What was he doing here?I wanted to ask.There were so many things I wanted to ask.For the time being, I settled for running a hand through my long bob, deliberately revealing the scar running along my temple and halfway down the side of my face.He wanted to stare at me?Might as well give him a look at what he hadn’t bothered to see before now.
“Once you sign this contract, you forfeit your ability to contact Mr.Collins ever again.For any reason.”
All of a sudden, I was in a hospital bed, staring up through a fog of pain and heartache at a man in black who loomed over me with a contract in one hand.“You will have the money you need to finance a fresh start.”
I had signed away the right to ask Spencer a damn thing ever again.At the time, it had seemed like the only thing to do.Flailing around in the middle of a stormy sea with nothing to grab onto, here was a man offering security, if nothing else.
Just then, security was one thing I was short on.
Spencer had run away from me like the cowardly child he was, and now he had the nerve to stare daggers at me.When I took the chance to glance his way, the intensity in his gaze sent a cold shiver down my spine.
Ten years.No, eleven.Where had he been?
“My friend Spencer is in the middle of patenting a new piece of technology, in fact.”Lex gestured toward Spencer with his drink, unaware of the icy tension that hung between us.“Before long, his company will be the new Apple.”
“Please, nobody quote me as saying that,” Spencer quipped.Penny giggled and—fuck me—fluttered her eyelashes at him.My nails dug into my palm as I fought the urge to drag her from the ballroom by her hair.He had already destroyed my dreams.I’d be damned if I let him do it to her.
“Lex?”Alexander Landry, Sr.waved his son over from halfway across the room, motioning toward a handful of photographers.
Lex let out another charming little chuckle while shrugging.“Duty calls.Penny, want me to introduce you?I’m sure he’d be happy to meet an up-and-coming star like you.”
Penny nodded and only blurted out a tiny giggle, her wide eyes meeting mine.I gave her a slight nod of encouragement and watched her fall in step beside the studio executive who’d left me standing alone with Spencer.
“Rowan.”He stepped up closer, almost overwhelming me with his presence.There was so much of him.He was too tall, too commanding, too intense.It was still an intoxicating combination.“I need to speak with you about something very important.Crucial.”
“After all this time?”I asked, faking the insolence I wished was real.“I can’t imagine what it might be.”
“Give me thirty minutes over drinks tonight,” he insisted.His nerve made my head snap back, but he ignored it.He was good at ignoring what was inconvenient.“I promise it’ll be worth the time.And if you don’t think I’ll have Lex look up your number for me?—”
I’d heard enough.Pinching the bridge of my nose, I whispered, “Fine, fine.”I would hate myself for this.I was sure of it.He didn’t deserve a minute of my time after forcing me into signing that stupid contract I was too naïve and immature to understand.
But that contract, along with the pain that had come before it, placed my feet on the path I now walked.I couldn’t pretend it was all bad.
The things we tell ourselves when we need an excuse to see a man one more time.