Page 36 of Scarred Heart

Blue eyes, much like mine, narrowed in disbelief while her glossy lips tightened in a disapproving line.“No, but you went to dinner with Hannah?You can’t be serious!”

By now, a few people around us had noticed her outburst.How could they not?She was practically shrieking.“You need to calm down, please,” I begged in a soft voice.

A violent shade of red crept up her neck, then over her cheeks.“Rowan.He ruined your life.Then he ran away from you.He deserted you.”

“That’s not technically true.”

“Oh, he told you that?Of course he would.He would say anything.And now he knows about Hannah?”She was going to hyperventilate soon if she didn’t get a hold of herself.

“Respectfully, you’re overreacting.”

She clearly didn’t care.If anything, she got louder while venom leaked into her voice.“How could you bring him into her life?Are you trying to get her hurt, too, the way you were hurt?What if we can’t all support her the way we supported you?”

Her mouth snapped shut, but it was too late.It might have hurt a little less if she had punched me.“Wow,” I whispered.“Thanks for that.”

She sat back in her chair, shoulders slumped.All the happy, shiny energy was wiped away.“I’m sorry.I didn’t mean that the way it came out.I’m worried about you.About Hannah.”

“You don’t have to worry about me.”I picked the napkin up from my lap and dabbed the corners of my mouth before dropping it onto my plate.“As for Hannah, she’s my responsibility.”

“Come on,” she pleaded in a shaky voice.“Don’t leave.I only want what’s best for you.”

“I’m sure you do.”I stood, pushing my chair in even when she whimpered.“Which is why you’ll be glad to knowwe aren’t seeing each other.Like I told you.Please, don’t say anything about it.You promised.”

As an afterthought before turning away, I added, “I’ll Venmo you for my half of the check.”It seemed like that hurt her worst of all, making her face crumple.She heaved a sigh behind me, but I ignored her, leaving the restaurant and heading back to the office while a storm raged in my head.

Was she right?Had I lost perspective?The more I thought about it during that seemingly endless walk, the clearer my choice became.I had no business entertaining Spencer’s little daydreams about us taking his jet to San Francisco or spending the day at Disneyland.We weren’t a family.It was Hannah and me.We were all we needed.

Before I could punk out and betray my daughter—and myself—I texted Spencer from the lobby of my building.This had to be done.It didn’t matter how much I didn’t want to.

Me:I think we need to take a step back and reevaluate.We both need a little space.

This was for the best.I’d thank myself for it later, no matter how I hated myself now.

13

SPENCER

It brought me no pleasure to roll through the tall, ornate iron gates at the entrance to my parents’ Malibu estate, where they’d decided to live full time after my father semi-retired.Nothing around here had changed, down to the guard at the gatehouse who lifted a hand in greeting as I passed.I did the same, slowly rolling up the winding driveway leading to the mansion, set far back from the road, away from the eyes of anyone passing by, unlike many other rambling, palatial homes inhabited by the elite of Malibu.Gauche, new money wanted their wealth to be easily viewed from the road.Lawrence Collins, shipping magnate, would never have debased himself that way.

It was a typical, beautiful day.Not a cloud in the sky, but a storm raged in my head.Some of it was fueled by Rowan’s sudden about-face yesterday and the fact that she’d ignored my attempts at reaching out to see what the fuck had changed all of a sudden.Why would she give me the respect of explaining herself?My calls went unanswered, my texts ignored.Was I supposed to hang around, hoping she would come to her senses?

All of that frustration fueled what was already eating a hole through me.I had waited a day after their return, figuring I could do that much not to be accused of bombarding Dad.I had been watching my parents my entire life, and I knew their dynamic.If my mother had the first idea about anything that went down surrounding Rowan, I would have taken the Bentley apart and eaten it piece by piece.I was that sure of myself.It was the old man in my crosshairs this morning.

I left the car in the roundabout, parking beside a marble fountain that shot jets of water into the air that sparkled like diamonds before splashing down.Groundskeepers were hard at work, a few of them nodding in acknowledgment as I charged up the long, wide staircase leading to the front doors.

Rather than wait to be acknowledged, I used my key and strode inside, passing through the marble entry hall and veering right at the grand staircase.The housekeeper exited a room farther down the hall, and her face lit up when she spotted me.A smile tipped the corners of my mouth for the first time all morning.There were times when she was more of a parent to me than either of the people responsible for my birth—exactly the kind of parent I didn’t want to be.

“Nora.It’s good to see you.”Lowering my voice when we were close enough to hear each other, I asked, “How was it having the house quiet for so long?”

She tried and failed to look disapproving.“There was still work to be done to keep things up and running.”But it was clear she had enjoyed the break when she winked.“Your mother is with her tennis instructor on the backcourt, and your father is in his study.”

Of course he was, and it was precisely why I’d headed in that direction.“I’ll surprise him,” I told her, patting her shoulder on my way past.

My pleasant expression barely lasted long enough for me to leave her behind.His door was open, sunlight streaming into the hall.My hands tightened into fists as I rounded the doorway without pausing to announce myself.

“Look who it is!”My father said behind a large, oak desk, looking tan and thinner than the last time we saw each other, though it had been months since I’d spent time with him face-to-face.His thick, white hair glowed in the light from the window behind him.

Fuck wasting time.Forget asking how the trip went.Clearly, if he was alive, it went fine.“Congratulations,” I announced, striding toward the smug bastard.“You’re a grandfather.”

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