Page 29 of Christmas in His Arms

"I didn’t know you’d be here tonight," he said, and I felt a giddy grin stretch across my face.

I didn't know he'd be here, but it made sense, his being on the town council and all.

"Oh, you know Walter. He insisted." Mom chuckled, and Dad grunted.

"Well, I couldn't just sit around doing nothing. And how could I miss the tree lighting?" Dad took the blanket covering his legs and readjusted it, and I fell into step next to Ryan.

"You must be cold," I said, noticing the rosy tip of his nose.

His warm smile, however, wasn't at all cold. He had a glow about him that I knew was directed at me. If anyone else saw him, they'd know too, but Mom and Dad were too busy enjoying the sights.

"I've been out here a few hours, so yeah, I'd say cold…" Ryan chuckled, and our eyes met, but I felt myself blushing and looked away. Unfortunately, I noticed a few people with hushed whispers and I knew they were speaking about us. At least they had the sense to keep their gossip quiet so Mom and Dad didn't hear this time.

"Uh-oh," Mom said playfully as we found ourselves at the back of a line of folks moving in toward the center of the square where the tree was. She looked up and pointed, and snickered. "Mistletoe…" Mom leaned down and pecked dad on the lips and then snickered like a schoolgirl.

My heart fluttered as I looked up to see Ryan and I were also standing under the mistletoe, and I flushed with warmth. Ryan wasn't looking at the mistletoe. He was looking at me, and he looked hungry.

"Oh, dear, what have we here!" Mom clapped and laughed. "Well, it's tradition. Don't keep us waiting." She was looking at Ryan and me, and I was suddenly feeling put on the spot and a bit mortified. My eyebrows rose and I glanced around.

"Mom!" I hissed, but she snickered.

"What? It's mistletoe, Carrie. Don't be a Grinch."

If she only knew the half of it, she'd never have said that. But Ryan was already leaning in, thankfully with his eyes open. My stomach threatened to revolt, but I rose up on my tiptoes and placed a chaste peck on his cheek and then backed awayimmediately, but the sizzle of chemistry was still there, and his smirk said it all. I was so glad Mom couldn't see his face.

"How fun! Now, who wants cocoa!" Mom was already off toward the next tradition, and Ryan's eyes were locked on my face as he pushed Dad's chair. It took everything I had in me not to wrap my arms around his bicep and lean on his shoulder. What was going on with me?

I knew this would never work. I knew if Mom and Dad knew, they'd never approve. And I knew in the end, I was leaving town with a broken heart. Why was I making it worse for both me and Ryan? Lisa had given me good advice. Tell Ryan the truth now before he gets too hooked, but the snowball was rolling and I was in its path, about to be crushed.

22

RYAN

After that kiss, I was undone. Even a peck on the cheek made my blood start pumping, and the way Helen encouraged it only proved one thing. She wasn't a total stick in the mud. I almost threw caution to the wind as we all stood and watched the magic of the tree lighting together. Walter remarked how thankful he was to be alive and to have this Christmas season to share with his family, and I got the sense that he was beginning to have a shift in his thinking.

But when Carrie seemed to shy away from me the rest of the evening, I got the sense that either she wasn't ready for that bold confession or she was having second thoughts. My insecurity kicked into overdrive, and I just decided it wasn't the time. I couldn't spring that on her like that without at least giving her a heads up. It was her family. Walt was just a friend to me.

I paced in front of my fireplace, now decorated for Christmas with some garland and sprigs of holly and ivy. I'd finally gotten into the mood and decided to put up some decorations of my own. Being around Helen, Walter, and Carrie had me really thinking about the important things in life like family andtradition. I noticed that they had a few strong ones, things I'd never established in my life.

It made me think about how much Carrie cared for her parents and how she'd given up a month of work to come and be with Walter and to help Helen. I didn't even have a wife to care for me, let alone children. And one day, I was going to be old and grumpy just like Walter, not that he was that much older than me, but time never stood still. I knew I had to change things in my life. Otherwise, I'd end up old and alone, and if I had a stroke or something worse happened, who would take care of me? Who would even care at all?

All the ruminating made me feel cagey and worked up. That kiss stirred my desire for Carrie, but there hadn't even been a way for me to slip in any kind of invitation for alone time. There weren't any pressing volunteer needs. I didn't have any excuse to get her alone, and she'd ridden with her parents to the ceremony. My desire for her at the time had to be put on hold, but now it was overwhelming me. I felt like I was going to go mad with lust.

I pulled my phone out and glanced at the time. Ten o'clock was creeping closer, and I knew Helen and Walter were probably asleep by now. I didn't know, however, whether Carrie was still awake or if she was, whether she'd even respond to a message. I was stir crazy, a caged lion. If I didn’t get some relief, I'd never sleep, so I sent a message hoping for a response.

Ryan 9:52 PM: You awake?

I waited a few seconds, staring at the screen, and three dots rolled along the bottom under the messages in our chat. She was responding, which made my heart race a little and my dick throb even more. I was slowly becoming rock hard.

Carrie 9:52 PM: Yeah, why? I just climbed into bed.

It made my pulse increase and the blood whirred past my eardrums.

Ryan 9:53 PM: Come over. You have no idea how bad I want you right now.

I figured being direct and to the point was the best option I had. We'd never been anything but honest with each other, and just having a conversation with her would only make my arousal worse.

Carrie 9:54 PM: I don't know, Ryan. Mom and Dad might hear me get the keys…

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