Page 17 of Christmas in His Arms

Carrie 11:04 AM: That's such good news. I hope you sell them all.

Carrie 11:54 AM: Just thinking of you. Hope you're still selling cars.

Carrie 12: 43 PM: I think I'd like waking up next to you too…

My heart fluttered as I read that last one. It made my groin pulse too, warmth seeping into my belly and chest. There was no feeling in the world as incredible as knowing someone out there wanted me the way I wanted them. It was exhilarating and wild. It made me want to get in my car and drive right over to Walter's house and pin Carrie against the wall and kiss her until her lips went numb.

Ryan 1:09 PM: That could be arranged… How about tonight? Dinner at my place, and a sleepover?

I added a winking face to the message and almost locked my phone to put it in my pocket, but three dots appeared. Carrie had her phone in her hands and was already typing a response to me. Watching those three dots bounce had me burning with anticipation. I was on the edge of my seat metaphorically, and I felt my dick starting to swell just thinking about tonight.

But her response made me deflate like a cheap balloon.

Carrie 1:10 PM: Can't.

There was a frowny face, and I wondered why there had been so much typing for a single word. Then the dots started to bounce again and I sighed in defeat.

Carrie 1:11 PM: Mom and Dad are doing the tree this weekend, so she's making me help her rearrange the living room and clean tonight.

The second frowny face made me feel grumpy. Reading into that message, I assumed she'd have loved to come over but knew how it would only make things with Helen worse. Not to mention the family tradition. I wanted to make a way for us to have time together this weekend because I felt like it'd been years since we'd seen each other, despite dinner last night. My mind raced with ideas on how to make it happen until it clicked.

Ryan 1:13 PM: I'll help!

Ryan 1:13 PM: Someone will have to put up the tree since your dad is still weak. I can even drive you to the tree farm north of Jennings if you want.

I waited, hoping she would give a positive response, and I didn't have to wait long. She responded with an emphatic yes, and four exclamation points. We arranged for me to pick her up in the early evening with a truck borrowed from the dealership to haul the tree, and I told myself not to get so excited about seeing her that I ended up with a tent in my pants for the rest of the day. I had hours to wait.

13

CARRIE

Isat on the edge of the bathtub waiting for the pregnancy test to process. The packaging said to wait at least three minutes to be certain it had enough time, but waiting was killing me. Besides, Mom was nagging me about organizing the ornaments and lights. She wanted everything laid out and ready so that when Ryan and I got back from picking the tree out, we could just decorate it right away.

I knew she'd come knocking on the door, and I couldn’t let her see the test lying on the counter. After missing a period, having tender boobs, and throwing up several times—not to mention constant nausea—I already felt like I knew what the test would say, but there was a part of me that still hoped I was wrong. Pregnant and single wasn't ideal, though I knew I could manage it. Telling my parents it was the result of a one-night stand was another thing. They were going to flip out.

"Carrie, Ryan is here. You can stop hiding from me." Mom's annoyed tone made me cringe, but at least she didn't try walking in here. I stood up and looked down at the test which hadn't had a full three minutes.

"Coming," I told her, but as the word slipped off my tongue, I noticed the two very distinct pink lines on the test. They hit me like a punch to the gut and my breath caught in my throat.

I didn't know why I was feeling upset or emotional. I was the one who spread my legs for that night of drunken lust, and I didn't make sure I was even protected. Now I not only had to make sure I wasn't carrying something, but I had a whole new consequence to deal with. A baby was a huge deal. A really huge deal. There would be no hiding this secret from anyone.

"Now," she grumbled, and I heard her footsteps moving away from the bathroom door.

A few tears snuck down my cheeks and I swiped them away. It would be life-changing, but it didn't have to be horrible. I always knew I wanted to have kids, and while it wasn't quite how I hoped it would be, a family was always in my future. And having not had a very good relationship with my own parents, I knew this was a positive thing for me. Someone to love me, someone who'd never leave, and a chance to do things better than my parents did.

I forced myself to look at the bright side of things as I washed my face and slapped on some fresh makeup so no one would see I'd been crying. Then I picked up the trash from the pregnancy test and hid it in an old takeout bag I saved for exactly this purpose.

My stomach roiled as I shoved my feet into my shoes and shrugged on my coat, then I jogged down the stairs and saw Ryan waiting by the door. He had a bright smile and a rosy nose from the cold.

"Ready? We're losing daylight." He was cheerful and exuded the joy of the holiday season, and on the inside, I was miserable—tied up in knots and emotional.

"Yeah," I told him, and I glanced at Mom, who was scowling as she organized the decorations by herself. I had never been more thankful for the escape from the house. She would see something was wrong with me, and because every girl needs her mother no matter how old she gets, I'd end up caving and telling her.

I followed Ryan to the truck wishing my relationship with my mom wasn't so horrible. I needed her in a moment like this, but I knew the only thing that would come from it would be more lectures and reasons being in Evergreen Falls was the right choice.

"You okay?" Ryan asked as he drove north out of town. The small tree farm was one town over, giving us plenty of time to help me relax and forget about the baby for now. I had to wrap my mind around it before telling anyone, and that meant time to think.

"Uh, just some personal stress…" I stared out the window not knowing what to tell Ryan. He wasn't exactly my sounding board. I should have called Ethan before coming downstairs. I should have just made Mom and Ryan wait five minutes. I felt like I was going to explode with too many emotions.

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