Page 27 of Silver Fox's Secret Baby

Ethan was the best, but even the best can make mistakes. The emotion of this situation could cause him to make mistakes, which was why it was illegal for him to perform this surgery. But if I knew him, he would take the case. He'd want to do everything in his power to save our little boy and get him on the path to healing and recovery.

The explosive reaction would come later when he and I were alone and he was forced to confront the fact that I had lied to him. I didn't know if my heart could handle that, not after reconnecting with him. I had tried so hard not to let my heart get so attached, and my fear was being realized. My secret would come out and Ethan would hate me.

I'd be plunged into isolation again, worried I'd never find a man who loved me the way Ethan had. My heart was breaking already and he didn't even know it.

20

ETHAN

Islogged into work feeling a bit discouraged. Lily left after lunch and apparently had shut her phone off. She hadn't returned my calls either, though I didn't blame her. When Dad had the slip and fall and ended up in the hospital, I didn't pay attention to my phone either. Family was more important when things like this happened, and Lily and I, though we were hopefully on a track to be family someday, weren't quite there.

The phone rang off the hook back in the office, nurses rattling off stats of different patients. I was mostly overseeing the team of doctors who were diagnosing patients. Our diagnostic team was one of the very few in the country that were even warranted. With so very few rare conditions, average general practice or attending physicians could handle the bulk of the patient loads in their respective hospitals.

Most of our work came via consultation calls from other hospitals around the country. My team carried around five or six "second opinion" cases every week, and we had partnerships with several major health networks to facilitate serving more sick patients around the country. I really enjoyed the work, though sometimes it was boring and I missed St. Anne's and the surgery department.

After topping off a cup of coffee in the doctor's lounge, I made a pitstop in the men's room and headed to my office. The long day of work was almost over, and I looked forward to the meal stewing in the crock pot on the kitchen counter. I also looked forward to catching up with Lily and seeing how her father was. I hoped that everything was okay and that we could pick up where we left off.

She had stared at the papers with such disbelief I thought she was awestruck over it. I thought it was a romantic gesture to offer them to her, and the tears she shed upon seeing them were happy tears. It was why I kissed her, why we had sex like that. The self-doubt creeping in as I returned to my office, however, had me second-guessing myself. What if she was really going to tell me she wasn't interested and I took advantage of her vulnerability? She had mentioned she wanted to discuss something with me, and I never gave her the chance.

Organizing my files so they were in place for tomorrow's workday, I dialed Lily's number again but it went to voicemail again. I had the thought to swing by her parents' place, but I didn't want to be too forward. If her dad really was ill, a visit from a stranger from Lily's past might not be a welcome thing. I would have to wait until things settled down and she was ready to talk to me.

In the meantime, I had to do my job, and I had to take care of my own aging parents who needed me more than I needed them. I stood, taking my car keys and phone, and headed to the door, but before I got into the hallway, my phone rang. I turned and looked at the desk and rolled my eyes. Technically, I had thirty more minutes left in my shift and after that, all the call-ins would go to Dr. Adams who was on call, but something in my gut told me to answer it.

So I slunk back over to my desk and sat down. Picking up, I answered. "Dr. Matthews, how can I help you?"

"Dr. Matthews, I'm glad I caught you. This is Dr. Butler from pediatrics." The name sounded familiar, but I didn't interact with many doctors in the pediatric wing unless they had a child with a rare condition they needed a consultation for.

"Yes, Dr. Butler. What can I do for you?" I sighed and settled in. It could be a long night if there was trouble with a child, which made my heart ache. Treating adults was difficult at times, but children were so challenging emotionally. I wanted children of my own someday, and watching other people's kids suffer was heart-wrenching.

"Well, we have a young patient, a four-year-old boy with a bad case of diaphragmatic hernia. It's congenital and he's been through one surgery already, which means scar tissue." He paused, and I was already thinking through the steps to diagnosis in my head. If they knew what it was, why did they need me? "The situation is complicated by high blood pressure and difficulty breathing. The child is small for his age, underweight and of smaller stature due to poor digestion and heart complications. We need surgery immediately."

Again, I felt baffled, considering I wasn't in the surgical department, though my degree and expertise were in thoracic surgery.

"Dr. Butler, I can give you the name of a very good surgeon, though he is not typically a pediatric surgeon. He's on call this evening. His name is Dr. George Adams and?—"

"With all due respect, Dr. Matthews, you are the best. I don't want just any surgeon working on this child. We need a specialist, a thoracic surgeon with a delicate hand. This boy is frightened of doctors and in very shaky health right now." Dr. Butler sounded certain that this boy needed me, and I knew when one of my peers was so compelled to burden me with their expectations, I needed to listen.

"Alright, let me just stop down for a consultation and see how it goes. If the child is as bad as you say, you can prep an OR and we'll be in surgery in under thirty minutes." I hadn’t done a surgery in months, and that was a minor vascular repair for a post-heart-attack patient.

"Perfect, I'll send notice to the OR now." Dr. Butler hung up, and within thirty seconds, I had a text on my cell phone giving me the patient's age, room number, and name.

Noah Carter, age four, pediatrics room 422.

I stared at the information for a second and decided to feel grateful that I could help a little boy feel better instead of being grumpy that it would delay my call to Lily. Mom had food in the crock pot and Dad wasn't going to take visitors tonight anyway, so I sent a message to my neighbor, Mrs. Hensley, to let her know I needed her to pop in and check on Mom because I’d be working late. Then I went to pediatrics to find my patient.

As I walked, I ruminated over the child's name. Noah Carter—it made me smile. I thought of Lily and the coincidence that her last name was Carter also, and then I thought of what we might name our child if we had one. Noah was a nice name. It meant peace and rest from a curse. In Biblical times, Noah was a man of great wisdom and leadership abilities. It was something Lily would probably pick too, her parents being devout Christians.

I waltzed into the pediatrics department with a half-smile on my face and a skip in my step. Just thinking things like that made my heart come alive. Lily and I could have a family. We could be in love and be married. Mom and Dad could finally have grandchildren, and my irrational fears of growing old alone and not having anyone to care for me would go away.

"Dr. Matthews?" I heard, and I turned toward the nurses’ station to see an older middle-aged doctor with a patient file in hand looking up at me.

"Dr. Butler?" I asked, and he nodded in acknowledgement, so I walked in his direction.

"I have the patient's file here." He handed it to me, and I folded it open and started looking through the notes. Things were as they seemed, diagnosed with congenital diaphragmatic hernia in utero and surgery already before he was a year old.

"Are the parents aware that the boy needs another surgery?" I asked and folded the file shut. I would need an MRI to confirm how bad this was if it hadn’t already been ordered.

"She is," he said firmly.

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