Page 12 of Silver Fox's Secret Baby

Maybe tonight was the night I should tell him. If I ripped the bandage off right away, it would hurt less. And it would prevent my heart from getting carried away or finding its way back to him. He hurt me pretty badly, but I still cared, and it took me a long time to realize I probably always would.

"Fine, but you call me immediately if he gets worse." I hated the idea of leaving Noah when he didn't feel well, but I did trust Mom and her instincts.

I slipped out, but before I even got to the car to start it, I got a text message from Ethan. It said his mother, who now lived with him, was sick too. But he didn’t have anyone to care for her while he went out, so he asked me to come to his house. A house where we had shared many memories and intimate encounters. I stared at my phone and tried to decide whether it was a grab on his part. If he was trying to get me to come to his house just to pressure me, I wanted no part of it.

But the honest and caring part of my heart knew Ethan wasn't like that. I knew how difficult it was raising a sick child on my own in New Jersey without any support system. He was taking care of two ailing parents alone, and it put a burden on him he didn't have help carrying. I felt like a horrible person for even thinking that Ethan would lure me into his home to manipulate me. He probably needed a friend.

So I responded with a, "Sure, I'll be there soon," and tossed my phone into the passenger seat as I started the car. Ethan's neighborhood had hardly changed. A few houses had new lights out front and the trees were all a little taller, but the same towering mansions I'd grown accustomed to seeing on this side of the city were all still here in good upkeep. I parked out front and took my phone and keys, locking my purse in my car.

When I knocked, he opened immediately, as if he'd been watching me walk up the sidewalk in the dark. Why he wanted dinner so late was beyond me, but I came ready to eat.

"Lily, you look beautiful," he said in greeting. He kissed me on the cheek softly and shut the door, then gestured across his open concept living-dining room and I saw the candles on the table. Their flames flickered and danced beneath the ceiling fan chandelier above. It smelled like Thai curry and it made my mouth water.

"You didn't have to do all this…" I followed him, marveling at the way he decorated the table. The white tablecloth and candles were a sweet touch, but the food had been set out in serving dishes and not just the boxes and containers they'd come in. He clearly had no time to cook last-minute, but takeout was fine with me.

"I'd do anything for you." He pulled out my chair and waited for me to sit, then pushed my chair in when I was settled with my purse on my lap and my phone next to my plate.

I drooled over the spread, at least four different types of curry and rice. There were sesame noodles, chopped nuts, and a crispy sourdough bread all teasing me. "This looks delicious."

I was already reaching for a serving spoon when he said, "Dig in." He watched me spoon portions onto my plate and then served himself. As I took my first bite, he poured a glass of wine for me, which I didn't know if I'd drink. I had to be sober if Mom called about Noah.

"So, you chose to come back to Denver?" he asked, then took a bite of his curry.

We had to break the ice somehow. Our chat at the bar didn’t exactly do that. Id' been too cold and anxious with him. It just felt weird being a perfect stranger with a man whom I'd loved so deeply at one point in my life. He used to know everything about me and be able to read my mood by looking at my expression or the way I was sitting. Now, he didn’t know me at all. I had grown up and changed. Having a child with a congenital defect did that to you.

"I did, actually. I wanted to be around my family." I had to bite back the bit about my son needing his grandparents. I couldn't tell him like that. He deserved better.

"How do you like Mountain View so far?"

The conversation shifted away from me and directly to my personal likes, and I wasn't disappointed. I was uncomfortable with direct questions anyway, no matter who it was. We chatted about work life and hospital policy. He was comfortable and lighthearted. He even cracked a few jokes about coworkers and who to avoid, but I was having a good time catching up.

Ethan told me how he left St. Anne's for the step up in his career and never looked back. He was well respected now and enjoyed the seniority of managing a team. The confidence looked good on him, and I found myself feeling as comfortable with him as I ever was. We even found our inside jokes were still inside jokes, and it warmed my heart that the years hadn't tarnished that tidbit of intimacy. I was enjoying myself so much that I got disappointed when I heard a bell ringing and Ethan looked up.

"It's Mom. She needs me. Don't move. I'll be right back." He wiped his mouth with his napkin and dropped it on his chair as he rushed off. I watched him scurry away feeling sort of sad for his having to deal with aging parents before he even had a family. With his dad in a home, there was a chance his parents didn't have long to live. It made me feel ashamed that I'd hidden Noah away from them.

I never considered the implications of Ethan's family and their involvement in Noah's life. I felt like a horrible person. They probably wanted grandchildren, and now they were getting older to the point they felt they'd never have them. I wiped my mouth and laid my napkin over my bowl. I couldn’t eat anymore.

Patiently waiting, I left my seat and my purse on it and walked to the portrait of Ethan's parents hung over the mantel.The gas fireplace looked like he never used it. That or it was meticulously cleaned after he did. The furniture looked un-sat-in, which saddened me too. It appeared he was so busy working and taking care of his parents that he didn't have a social life, at least not one where he hosted friends.

I moved on to the bookshelf where scrapbooks of memories were stored, but as I reached for one, he returned. I heard him clear his throat, and I turned with a sheepish expression to see his smile.

"Sorry I had to rush away." He glanced at his scrapbooks, probably put together by his mother before she got sick. "There's one of us…" His words hung in the air as he walked toward me. He reached past me, and I was close enough to touch him. I wanted to. That was the horrible part. I wanted to pretend like I hadn't kept a dark secret from him for so long, like I didn't harbor something that could really hurt him.

"Of us?" I asked, but my question was answered when I looked at the cover. Someone had taken the time to select the perfect image of us and decoupaged it onto the cover of the hardbound book. I was smiling, dressed in a yellow and white sundress with a floppy hat the day we went hiking in the mountains, far away from prying eyes. He had brought a blanket for a picnic, and it was the first day I told him I loved him. Those same feelings welled up in my chest, but I had to tamp them down. Getting lost in nostalgia would be good for no one.

"Want to look?" he asked, but I shied away.

Noah was at home coughing and wheezing, and I was here playing a dangerous game. My heart was already attached again even before we'd done anything. This was the Ethan I knew and loved, the one who swore to climb mountains for me. Not the one who stood before the board and called me a mistake. He had clearly gotten my message and knew how that hurt me, andhe was trying so desperately to make up for that and all the lost time, but things were drastically different now.

"Ethan, there's something I need to tell you." The weight on my chest was too much. I couldn't let him get any deeper into this than he already was. He needed to know before it got worse and hurt him worse.

"There's something I need to tell you too, Lily." Ethan put the scrapbook back on the shelf and grabbed me by the wrists. "I really screwed up. You were the love of my life and I should've stood up for you. I want you back, and I want to do things the right way. I've already gone to HR about us, and I want to try again. Give me a second chance."

He was so sincere, his expression so earnest. His eyes pleaded with me to listen and respond and my eyes welled up with tears. I was speechless. The heartfelt apology moved me. I didn't want to hurt him, and I didn't want to ruin whatever this was that was happening. My Ethan was here, and I lost myself.

"God, Ethan, I?—"

His lips cut me off as they pressed against mine, gently at first, but then more eagerly. The kiss was searing, sucking away my breath and hypnotizing me in its wake. Ethan's hands moved to my elbows, then my hips as I slowly wrapped my arms around his neck. The kiss intensified too, his tongue searching my mouth, and his teeth nibbling at my lower lip.

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