Page 112 of Merciless Monster

I look across to him and give him a wry smile. The poor man is trying his best. If anyone should win the award for best father and grandfather of the year, it’s my dad.

“He’ll come around, Mia. Don’t let it get you down. It’s important to focus. Are you sure you don’t want me to come along and watch from a distance?”

“That’s sweet, Dad, but no. If they suspect I’m being followed, the whole plan is shot to hell. Besides, how would it look if we leave Angelo alone on the ranch? They’ll know for sure that something’s up.”

“I guess. Promise me you’ll be careful. Don’t be alone with him. Stay in the crowd.”

“Yes, Arnold,” I play-mock before I hug my sweet father.

Dante is in the office. He’s trying to keep out of my way, I imagine. Smart boy. I can’t leave without saying goodbye to him. He’s sitting at the desk, staring into space when I open the door.

“Hi,” I say.

“Hi.”

“I’m leaving now.”

Dante looks so vulnerable, which is ridiculous considering who he is and all the crazy things he’s done in his life.

“I’m sorry,” he says, and I know with every fiber of my being that he means it.

“I know. I’m sorry too.”

“What are you sorry for? You’ve done nothing to apologize for.”

“Yes, I have. I picked on you when it wasn’t your fault.”

“Thisismy fault, Mia. I should have left the moment I was well enough to travel and never looked back.”

“You don’t mean that, Dante.”

“Yes, I do. I’ve brought nothing but fear and danger into your life. I should have known from the start that I was never the kind of man who deserves a family. It’s selfish of me to think that I could ever love someone like you without hurting her.”

“Now you listen to me, Dante De Luca. I’m glad you’re in my life. I don’t regret it for a single moment. Look at what we have. We have a son and more love than most people will ever have. That can never be a mistake.”

“I’m afraid of what they’ll do to you, Mia.”

“Don’t you worry about that. I’ll be fine. They need me. Remember?”

“Please be careful, Mia. I love you so much. I can’t imagine living without you. Fuck, I couldn’t live with myself if anything happened to you.”

“Don’t talk like that. We have a child and he needs you. Promise me that whatever happens, you’ll be there for him, Dante.”

Dante gets up and walks over to me. He throws his arms around me and holds me so tightly I can hardly breathe.

“I promise.”

We stay like that for the longest time. Two lovers, bruised by the world, desperate for comfort.

“I have to go or I’ll be late.”

“Call me when it’s over.”

“I will.”

* * *

My legs are wobbly as I enter the deli I visit every day of the week and buy my standard nicoise salad. The waitress who serves me smiles brightly when she sees me.

---