Page 135 of Scrimmage

“Actually, she’s quiet a lot because she reads for hours. Sometimes I have to check and make sure she’s breathing.”

“She reads?”

“Fuck yeah. More than anyone I’ve ever met.”

“I thought art was more her thing,” I comment.

“She doesn’t like it. It’s a nervous habit. Tattooing is like reading and doing art all at once. It’s why she’s so good at it.”

I don’t know what to say, but Penny has already turned on the radio. We drive with her dangerously texting, almost swiping the guardrail on two different occasions, and screaming at anyone who gets in her way. She drops me off and gives me a quick wave before taking off.

The condo feels empty. Before I left, I cleaned everything up and patched the hole in the wall. A serial killer’s house. That’s what Ashland called it. I never realized how plain it was until I saw her in it. I unpack quickly and turn on the TV. I feel like a mindless zombie, so I turn on the gaming console and play until I pass out in an attempt to keep myself busy.

When I finally get a text from Barnes and the other guys suggesting we all go out for New Years, I almost don't respond. But it seems like a good way to try to keep myself preoccupied. The last time I went somewhere I ended up arrested over Ashland. I need to fix that. As soon as we walk into the bar I already regret it. This is exactly the kind of place Ashland would go. If she was here, she would already be three shots deep with Penny, singing every single song, and somehow trying to terrorize me.

“Shit, look whose here!” Barnes hits me in the chest, almost knocking my beer from my hands.

Ashland. She’s standing with Penny who is hugging Alexi. That’s why he didn’t ask me what I was doing. He tries to hug Ashland, and she bares her teeth at him. I should leave, but my mom said if I get another chance I should take it. This looks like another chance to me. I follow the others, slowly making my way to her. They all say hi to the girls and start chatting.

“Hey, Ash,” I say awkwardly. Her teal eyes land on me. They’re glassy, which tells me she’s already drunk.

“Hey, Chance,” she says politely. It’s so casual that it hurts. This is what we are now. Friends of friends of maybe even friends. I’m not going to let her do that.

The group seems to force us together. “So how’ve you been?”

“Fine.”

This is torture. She should be saying something snippy to me. “Just fine?”

“Mhm.”

“I didn’t think it was possible for you to keep your mouth shut.”

Her eyes widen, trying to keep her annoyance at bay. She turns to me, plastering a fake smile on her face. “It’s New Year’s Eve, Koda. Penny is about to leave. Can we just be cordial?”

“I know. She picked me up from the airport yesterday.” I glance over at Penny.

“I’m aware,” she growls. “No talking. Cordial.”

“Conversation is being cordial,” I chuckle.

“Ugh.”

I chance the question. “Are you going to be okay?”

She rolls her eyes. “It’s fine. We’re codependent, but we can live without each other.”

“You’re gonna be there all alone though,” I point out.

“Oh my God,” she groans. “If you’re going to fucking annoy me, buy me another drink.” She shoves her empty glass at me and turns her back.

Yeah, I think the pain will be worth it later. I can feel the possessiveness taking over my body. Ashland thought she could toss me to the side and pretend that nothing happened between us, but she’s fucking wrong. We aren’t nothing. We never were. We’re toxic and complicated, and I like that. I won’t try to fix her or save her or whatever it is she thinks. I want to torture her in a good way.

I grab her another drink, and she takes it without even looking at me. She might hate me, but she can still trust me.

Music blares through the bar. She’s pretty fucking drunk, getting louder with every sip. We all are. I’ve had less than Ashland, but I’m still up there. Alexi is at the point where he’s making out with a random girl and getting distracted by another.

The girls climb up onto the bar, and the place goes wild. More girls jump up, and it becomes a Coyote Ugly. It’s growing out of control the closer to midnight that it gets. I try to fight off any guy who gets near them, because I’m not fucking putting up with it. She can have fun. If she wants to party? Fine. But she isn’t going to be with anyone except for me. Penny starts to fall, and I reach out to catch her while Ashland crawls off of the bar top and falls to the floor, laughing. I pull them both up to stand, and they’re like bowling pins.

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