Mom’s back goes ramrod straight beside him, nodding in agreement.
“I’m afraid Mr. DeLuca is correct. This could have been any student—maybe another senior wanting to leave their mark before graduation. And given my sons’… reputation, it wouldn’t be very difficult for someone else to frame them. I don’t think it’s fair to punish my boys for a crime youassumethey’ve committed, especially when they’re so close to graduating.”
Sister Margaretta looks absolutely dumbfounded as our parents hold their ground.
Enzo and I keep our faces perfectly innocent, wearing matching expressions of angelic virtue—like a pair of choirboys who’d never dreamt of causing the nuns such trouble.
Yeah, we’re guilty as fuck, but like hell, I’m going to admit that my brother and I are responsible for every single one of the greatest pranks Sacred Heart has ever seen.
Normally, I’d be pissed about not getting credit for such a masterpiece. Still, there’s no way I’m risking another suspension or, God forbid, expulsion. We’ve made it this far at Sacred Heart, and I refuse to hand Sister Margaretta the ammo she needs to kick me out on a fucking technicality.
Sister Margaretta takes a long moment to think, and when her shoulders finally relax, my nerves spike.
“Fair enough,” she says at last. “The twins can leave with a warning.This time.However, if I find proof that they were behind this, I’ll have no choice but to suspend them. And Mrs. Romano, that means one more strike, and they will be expelled. Is that understood?”
Fucking bitch.
“Understood,” Mom replies, already rising from her seat, eager to leave.
My father, however, doesn’t seem to be in such a hurry.
Instead, I watch him pull out his phone and press a few keys.
“Though the boys have not participated in this prank, I don’t see why the nuns at Sacred Heart should suffer for it. The Romano family has just donated fifty thousand dollars to the school. Hopefully, that will help towards purchasing new habits,” Gio informs before standing up.
“That’s extremely generous of you,” Sister Agnes thanks, looking genuinely grateful.
“Yes, very,” the Mother Superior adds with a tight smile. “Though I feel I should remind you that not every problem can be solved by throwing money at it.”
“And yet, you’ll accept the donation anyway,” Gio counters smoothly, extending his hand for the headmistress to shake.
“Mr. DeLuca.” Sister Margaretta shakes his hand.
“Mother Superior,” he says with a curt nod while the nun keeps a strong hold on his hand.
“Maybe next time you can persuade Mr. Romano to attend these meetings instead of sending his lawyer to accompany his wife. Family matters should be treated within the family. No outside counsel needed.”
“Are you sure about that, Sister? As I see it, it was quite fortuitous that I was the one to assist Mrs. Romano with this issue. If I wasn’t here, then maybe you would have gotten your wish of suspending the twins after all, sans proof of misconduct. Looks like your boss chose to favor me today, instead of you, Mother Superior. You should ask yourself why that is.”
“No self-inspection needed, Mr. DeLuca. I trust His plan in all things.” Sister Margaretta frowns before letting go of my father’s hand. “As the good book tells us, the Lord works in mysterious ways.”
“It would appear so.” My father throws her his best ‘fuck you’ smile.
My mother, on the other hand, is ready to bolt from Sister Margaretta’s office and away from their awkwardly tense interaction. She shakes the nun’s hand quickly, mutters a polite goodbye, and heads straight for the door, certain that our father, Enzo, and I will follow close behind.
“Not a word until we get to the parking lot,” she warns as we walk down the school’s corridor, just as two nuns pass us with their heads hung low, their modified habits on full display.
Dad glances over his shoulder, his lips twitching as he reads the words ‘Jesus Wept’ stamped across their asses.
“Ingenious,” our father murmurs appreciatively with a low chuckle.
“Don’t encourage them, Gio,” Mom mutters, though I catch the ghost of a smile starting to play on her lips.
I have to admit, Enzo and I have come up with a lot of funny shit over the years, but this one—chef’s kiss!
Fucking perfection!
Did it take a lot of work? You bet your ass it did—ensuring that the nuns had nothing else to wear while also getting the new habits done required more manpower and resources than I initially anticipated. But in the end, it couldn’t have gone better, if I do say so myself.