Page 30 of Control Line

He seemed to like what he saw, and he’d seen her in yoga pants which hid absolutely nothing, so she needed to just shake that shit off.

If all else fails, I’ll just hypnotize him with my grade A ass. She slapped it for emphasis.

That was a giggle. From her. Barney had that effect on her. She placed her hands on the exposed belly to stop the butterflies from flapping. She was really doing this. And by this she meant sleeping with Barney. Her plans weren’t to masturbate in the shower using her own hands. They were to use his. . .among other things.

“Hold back your heart, Zee.” She whispered the command she’d already broken. Sadly, or not, she’d learned more about Barney over the last days and shared more of herself than she ever had.

The possibility of seeing him got her out of bed in the morning. The idea of sharing a meal with him soothed her soul, and knowing she was coming home to him, in a manner of speaking, made her more thoughtful with her time. Thoughts of him not being there hurt her soul. A physical burn in her chest.

If her heart wasn’t in it, then she was dying from some mental and physical disorder that manifested recently. That was the only explanation.

But, under no circumstances, could she let him know how she felt. Not now, hell maybe not ever. Barney wasn’t the type. He practically had NO CLINGERS tattooed across his forehead.

Zee had made that mistake one too many times. Telling people how she felt too early was a personality flaw she had. But now it was trained out of her. Some men ran, but some stayed. Staying was worse than running. She’d learned that all too late.

Being the person someone stayed with simply because they said three words was stupid. People did it to avoid hurting someone, but it would destroy them instead. Both of them.

Not to mention Barney had so much drama in his life. There was no way he was ready to jump into a relationship. Maybe once his life was settled, they could explore if there was more on his part. For now, she would enjoy what he offered and protect her heart and his.

With a final nod, she turned off the lamp and opened the bathroom door.

The room was still dark as she’d left it after her shower. Reaching up, she ran her hands through her still damp hair. Barney’s door was closed. Tiptoeing across the cool tile, she opened it, only a foot at first to see if he was there.

He sat in the dark on the foot of his bed, stark naked. She couldn’t make out any details of his body or lines of his ink, but she could tell he was happy.

“Doll, this doesn’t work if we’re both in the dark.”

With a calming inhale, she flipped the bathroom light on, blinding herself but giving him a perfect view. She stood straighter, slowly opening the door more than just a foot.

Hoping he got the hint and invited her in, she stood there with her heart beating hard in her throat waiting for him to say something. She bit her lip when she noticed the outline of his arm slowly stroking his cock.

His arm stilled when he hissed. She imagined he was squeezing himself. A job she wanted to apply for.

“Damn, doll.” The words were breathed more than spoken. “You are so damn beautiful. Did you wear that just for me?”

She nodded, assuming he was talking about the shirt.

“Take it off.”

Without hesitation, she complied.

“Fuck.” His arm started moving again. “The boxers, too.”

Again, she complied. As she stepped out, he growled, “They yours?”

“Yes.”

“Better be.” She didn’t respond, but his jealousy made her heart speed up.

“Turn and let me look at you for a minute before you shower.”

Turning slowly, she faced her door and stopped. Looking over her shoulder, she wished she could see his reaction. “Damn. That’s some ink.”

She liked to think so. It seemed like everyone had a phoenix on their body but hers was different, or so she’d always hoped. It took up her entire back. The wings extended down her arms to the elbow on one side and a little past on the other. Most people only saw the tip of the wing and assumed it was a single feather.

On that same side, it extended down over her ass and thigh. More feathers that if people caught a glimpse at the bottom of her cargo shorts, they paid little mind to.

It was the other side people found fascinating. She turned the opposite direction and pushed her cropped hair off her neck, so he could see the head which was hidden there. His face was half beautiful fire bird, the other half zombified burned out bones. A fire still burned in the eye socket. The left half of the bird wasn’t beautiful and reborn. It was a scorched and smoldering skeleton. One that would never regrow its glorious feathers. Little fires still lit along that side with ashes all around.

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