Page 136 of Four Fiances & I

“No, you didn’t. You could never fail me.” Lifting her other hand, she cups my face whilst wiping away my tears with her thumb. “You broke your own wings so your brothers could fly. I am so unbelievably proud of you. You have done so much for them, but now it's your turn to be happy.” She leans forward to kiss the top of my head again.

“Now, mend your broken wings and learn to fly.”

ChapterForty-Five

CHRISTIAN

I wake with a jump, my body slick with sweat, and the bed feels like it’s soaking wet. Wiping at my face, I realise it's not just sweat; tears are streaming from my eyes. The need to see my brothers and Jasmine consumes me as I jump from the bed, pulling the sheets from my semi-naked body as I nearly trip on the way to the door.

Last night, we all went to Jason’s room to make love to our girl. We were all a little tipsy and very much in love. He hasn’t got the biggest bed, so I left them all to sleep while I went back to mine. Now, I regret it more than anything because I need to see they are all okay.

Even though I know it was a dream, it felt so real. My heart’s racing as I throw open his bedroom door and charge in.

“Shit!” Jason jumps from where he’s sitting up in bed alone.

“Where are they?” I demand, looking around in a panic.

“Who? What the hell is going on?” Jason rushes to get out of bed so he is beside me.

“The others!” I turn to rush out of the room when I hear her voice coming from the bathroom.

“Blackbirds singing in the dead of night. Take these broken wings and learn to fly all your life.” Her voice draws me to her.

“That’s it,” I hear Jason say quietly, and I know he remembers it too.

“All your life.” I hear her sing as I open the door. Jasmine is standing in the shower, her head lifted as she washes the soap from her hair. “You were only waiting for this moment to arise.”

Hearing the words again brings every emotion I felt in the dream rushing forward. I must make a sound as Jasmine looks towards me and smiles. That smile, the light to my dark. As my eyes lock with hers, my legs turn to jelly underneath me as I remember her kneeling there, Carol, with a gun to her head, as she pleaded with me to kill her instead of my brothers.

“Daddy!” she rushes towards me, still soaking wet from the shower as I crumble to the floor. She lands beside me and grabs my face with both hands, just as Mum did in the dream.

“Daddy, what's wrong?”

Unable to speak due to the thickness of my throat, I pull her into my arms as I burst into tears. Burying my face into her shoulder, I cling to her, desperate to never lose her.

“Fuck, Christian!” Jason snaps as I hear Jasmine panicking. “Speak to me,” he places a hand on my shoulder, but all I can do in return is grab his hand and hold it tight. I open my mouth to speak, but all I can do is desperately gulp down air as I try desperately to catch my breath.

“Shush, Daddy, it's okay.” Her sweet voice gives me something to focus on as she cups my head and runs a hand over my hair from where she sits with my head now on her chest.

I’m vaguely aware of her whispering to Jason as she continues to run a hand over my head.

“I’ve got you, Daddy. I’m right here,” she whispers into my hair while leaning her head against my head. I don’t remember the last time I cried like this. Even after the stag party and all that happened when we got home, I didn’t break like this.

At some point, Jason pulls his hand from my grasp and walks away, promising to be right back. When he returns, he places something around Jasmine, and I realise she is freezing, wet, and shivering. It’s the trigger I need to drag myself back to her.

Without saying a word, I pull myself out of her grasp and pick her up as I stand.

“Daddy?” she asks, placing a hand on my cheek.

“I’m okay,” I reply in a raspy voice. I still feel like my chest is being crushed in a vice. I can't catch my breath, but I try to take slow, long ones as I sit on the chair by Jason's window; pulling a blanket from the bottom of his bed, I wrap it around her, ensuring she's warming up. I pull her tightly against me as she curls up and places a hand on my cheek.

“Where are the others?” I ask Jason, who’s sitting on the edge of his bed, watching me with bloodshot eyes.

“In the gym with Ryan, Ethan and Layton.” He leans forward and places a hand on my arm, looking concerned. “What freaked you out? Has something happened?”

I shake my head before looking down at Jasmine, who is looking up at me with tears sliding down her cheek.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper, wiping her tears away.

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