Page 137 of Four Fiances & I

“What for?” she asks, frowning.

“I didn’t mean to scare you.” I look up from her blue eyes and straight into Jason’s grey ones. “Neither of you.”

“What happened? I don’t think I have ever seen you like that,” he asks. I open my mouth to lie; it's instinct to tell them I’m fine, even when I’m not.

“The worst nightmare I have ever had,” I reply, tightening my arms around Jasmine.

“You’re safe; we all are,” Jasmine whispers, cupping my cheek as she forces me to look at her, and both of us still cry silently. “You are okay, Daddy. None of us are going anywhere.”

* * *

“Has he woken up at all?” The sound of Maximus’s voice pulls me from the deep sleep. Not long after I curled up on the chair with Jasmine, Jason insisted I lay on the bed while Jasmine got dry and into something warmer than a wet towel. Knowing it was to help Jasmine, I did as I was told. As soon as she was dressed, she sat next to me as I placed my head on her lap and held her legs to me as she ran her hand over my head. Promising whatever had happened wasn’t real, and they were alright.

“No, he curled up and hasn’t moved,” Jasmine whispers, still running a hand over my head.

“Do you have much to do today?” Sean asks, “Or are the girls taking over so you can stay with him?”

I hear Jasmine laugh with no humour under her breath.

“You think I would leave him, or any of you, like this? I don’t care if the wedding doesn’t go ahead at this point; I just want him to be okay.”

“I’m fine,” I answer, feeling Jasmine jump underneath me.

“Christ, Christian, you nearly gave me a heart attack!” Sean snaps, placing a hand over his chest as Maximus and Jason laugh.

Sitting up, I rub the sleep from my stinging eyes and sit next to Jasmine, who instantly leans into me. Wrapping my arms around her, I use the scent of her shampoo and warmth to ground myself.

“You good?” Maximus asks, watching me as Jason reaches for a water bottle and passes it to me.

“Yeah, it was just a messed-up dream, but it felt so fucking real it took me a while to realise that’s all it was,” I mumble before taking a deep drink from the bottle.

“Want to talk about it?” Jason asks. I look at Jasmine and the others before letting out a deep sigh. I want to say no and hide it all from them. It was just a stupid dream, after all. But even when I remind myself of that, it is still difficult to grasp as it felt so real. Busing myself by sipping my water, I quickly think about how much I want them to know.

“It started as Sunday morning. We were dressed and in the wedding tent, talking to the registrar. Nothing stood out; we were just there laughing and waiting for Jasmine. But when she walked down the aisle to me, and I went to take her hand from Terry, but he changed to her father.” Closing my eyes, I look up at the ceiling as I start to shake. I swallow back the sick that threatens to come up as I picture him glaring at me. I hear Jasmine gasp and take her hand in mine, unable to bring myself to look at her or the others.

“He was pissed?” Maximus asks, and I can’t help chuckling under my breath.

“Understatement of a lifetime.” I shake my head and continue to focus on the ceiling. “He refused to let me marry her, which was when all hell broke loose.”

I don’t look at any of them as I continue the play-by-play. When I get to the part about being forced to choose, I look at Maximus as tears fill my eyes again.

“I don’t think my relationship with Jasmine is more important than yours. If I’ve made you ever feel like that, I’m sorry.”

Maximus just stares at me for a moment with his arms crossed over his chest. The way his eyes widen, even if just a little, tells me there was some truth in that bit. It would explain why we’ve been butting heads so much recently.

“I know.” For a moment, I think he means he doesn’t forgive me, but then a tiny smile lifts one side of his mouth. “You can just be such a controlling arsehole!”

I laugh as the others snap at him. “He’s not wrong,” I point out as we smile at each other.

“I’m never wrong,” he winks before his smile fades. “So, who did you shoot?”

I shake my head as I remember how I felt lifting the gun and holding it to my head.

“I turned the gun on myself.”

Jasmine gasps next to me as Jason hisses through his teeth. I shrug as they all look like they are about to be sick.

“I’m not suicidal,” I point out, trying to get that point across. “I have no plans on ever going down that route.” I pinch the bridge of my nose as I lean my head against Jasmine’s, resting on my shoulder. “I would never choose between you guys. I will always take a bullet for you all.” I take time to look at each of them, the four people I love more than anything and know I would do it if I had to. I will always look after them.

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