Page 37 of Seeking Shadows

“Yes, but this time, I’m being benevolent and giving you something to distract yourself with.”

He arches a brow. “From the fact that I’m still mad at you?”

I clap my hands together and beam. “Exactly! And what better way to forget your anger and remember that you like me than food and a nice view?”

Zane snorts, but the corner of his mouth twitches like he’s fighting a smile.Victory.Partial, but still.

The afternoon melts into stolen snacks, playful bickering, and the occasional swat when Zane insists on stealing my cheese. It’s progress—considering that earlier, he looked like he wanted to bury me alive.

The sky shifts as the sun dips lower, the brilliant blue dissolving into streaks of orange and pink before deepening into twilight. I stretch out on the blanket, letting the cool breeze kiss my skin as the first stars flicker to life.

“Have you ever noticed how the sky looks bigger when you’re away from the city?” I muse, feeling the weight of the quiet settling between us.

Zane lies beside me, arms tucked behind his head. “Less light getting in the way.”

I turn toward him with a mischievous smile. “You likeSpirited Away, don’t you?”

I ask even though I already know the answer—because back when we lived together, I caught him watching it once, then pretending he wasn’t crying even though he totally was. I got curious, so I watched it too.

His eyes narrow in suspicion. “Why are you asking?”

“Because.” I fling my arms toward the vast, star-speckled sky. “This. That feeling that you could get lost and find something magical at the same time.”

He doesn’t respond, but I know he gets it. I know because theday Icaught him watching the movie alone, he was too absorbed in the train scene to notice me.

“The train,” I murmur. “That’s your favorite part, isn’t it?”

Zane’s eyes flutter shut for a moment before he finally admits, voice low, “Yeah.”

Something shifts between us. It’s no longer about teasing or irritation—it’s deeper, like we’re stepping into a space we haven’t touched in a long time.

I roll onto my side, propping my head on my hand. “I always thought that scene was about accepting that some things have to go. The train only moves forward—Chihiro can’t turn back.”

Zane is silent for a long time. Then, finally, he says, “Yeah.”

He keeps his gaze on the sky, but I see the faint tension in his jaw before he speaks again. “Or maybe it’s about moving forward, even when you don’t know where you’re going.”

Something tightens in my chest, but I smile. “Maybe. But if I were on that train, I’d probably try to pull the brakes.”

Zane huffs a quiet laugh, shaking his head. “That doesn’t surprise me at all.”

"You should try it too," I murmur. He gives me a confused look, but I don't elaborate.

The silence that follows is heavy but not uncomfortable. The stars seem to breathe with us. I hesitate, feeling like I’m treading on thin ice—but I ask anyway.

“Why do you run from your family so much? I mean… your mom’s gone now. There’s no reason not to see them anymore.”

I brace for something sharp, something defensive—Zane always protects himself with thorns. But he just sighs, still staring at the sky like he’s searching for answers among the constellations.

“Because I’m afraid.”

The simplicity of the confession knocks the air from my lungs.

“Afraid?” My voice is barely above a whisper. “Of what?”

He takes his time answering. When he does, it’s so quiet it nearly dissolves into the wind.

“Of being so broken I don’t know how to be with them anymore.”

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