Page 425 of From Rakes to Riches

Though the earl scowled, she thought she saw a flash of pain and guilt in his eyes. “Never much to say for the girl. Somehow landed herself a marquess.”

“But not your son.”

“No.” He swallowed and sat back. “The boy was devastated. I wouldn’t see that it was my fault until—until recently.”

She held her breath, hoping he wouldn’t stop.

“I found a woman to keep me company in my old age. I had to pay her, but that didn’t matter. Every man pays the woman in his life in some manner.”

He looked away, and the gesture reminded her of his son.

“David didn’t understand,” he continued. “I don’t blame him. I thought thetonwouldn’t care what I did, that an earl was above any petty gossip. Even after he married you, I still didn’t realize what I’d done.”

She stiffened. “You were angry at him—at me.”

He gave a grudging smile, something she’d never seen on his face. “For a while.”

“Why don’t you talk to him about these things?” she asked gently.

“It’s too late. He’ll be rid of me soon enough. Things will be better between you.”

“You are not standing between us,” she insisted.

He shrugged. “Get me more eggs, girl. I find myself hungry today.”

Later, after the earl had been wheeled away, Victoria debated her strategy for her marriage. She was not deterred by David’s stubbornness. She deliberately left her household journal at his place at the table, knowing he hadn’t eaten yet. Then she went off to visit her mother, who expected a report on the dinner party.

As David walked downto breakfast, he was still berating himself on how late he’d risen. It had been difficult to sleep, knowing Victoria was just next door, waiting for him. But too much had happened last night, and he didn’t know what to think about it all. He hated that she knew some of his secrets, and couldn’t decide if this strange sensation was relief or just further confusion. And who was he punishing by staying away from her room—her or himself?

She was already gone from the dining room when he arrived, and it seemed very empty without her. But at the head of the table, one of her notebooks had been deliberately placed. Victoriahadbeen trying to get him to read their old journal, though this wasn’t it. Maybe this was a new tactic.

He filled a plate, then pushed the notebook aside to begin eating. But his gaze kept darting back to it, and finally he opened it and flipped through several pages. The first date was the day he’d proposed to her, and so began list after list of everything she felt she had to do to prepare for the wedding. He sensed fear and relief and…something else, something hidden.

He forgot that thought as she related her attempts to soothe her troubled mother. Soon his father was thrown into the narrative, and with Victoria’s frustration came a stubbornness he admired. He could see her thrill at her first success, when the old man didn’t force her to leave his room.

How decent of him, David thought bitterly.

But as he got close to the last written page, going past menus and scribbled music notes and lists of wedding presents, he saw that she’d somehow reached his father.

David could feel it within the house. The tension had eased, and being at home wasn’t fraught with waiting anxiety. He’d hoped for this when he’d married her, and he’d succeeded. She’d succeeded. He didn’t feel good about using her.

Then he realized that there was nothing in her notebook about him. Wasn’t their marriage worth writing about? He remembered the different notebooks he’d seen spread on her desk. She was giving him a glimpse of her life with this one book but wasn’t letting him see her truly personal thoughts.

She was trying so hard to be a wife to him, and he was selfishly trying to keep everything just the way he wanted it. She was attempting to cross a line to reach a compromise, and he was holding back like a coward.

It was his turn to give something back. If it meant so much to her, he’d take her to the duke’s ball tonight, and anywhere else she damn well wanted to go. She’d heard some of the worst about his past—at least the public scandals. And she didn’t despise him or his family. She didn’t seem hurt by it all, except…on his behalf.

But there were other ways he could hurt her, if he wasn’t careful.

Victoria was givingher mare a carrot when she felt someone watching her. She turned around and knew it was David, silhouetted against the brightness outside the stable door. She felt a thrill at his very presence, followed quickly by trepidation. Had he read her journal? Did he understand that it was time for him to try to reach his father before it was too late?

He walked toward her, and gradually his features sharpened. He was watching her, his pale eyes full of—mischief?

“Do you have another evening gown?”

She was confused. “The bulk of my new wardrobe won’t arrive for several more weeks, but you did purchase me several gowns. Don’t you remember?”

“I remember.”

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