Page 90 of What Sleeps Within the Cove

“Brann,” I said, leaning down to run my nose alongside Estrella’s. The feral urge to lay claim to the woman was illogical, particularly knowing that she viewed Brann as nothing more than a brother even if they were not blood related. He paused, studying me intently and measuring me up. His eyes widened as realization dawned, and it occurred to me that Estrella had not informed him of who I was. I’d assumed he’d known, that he’d been able to see through my glamour and that was why he’d been so adamant that they needed to leave me behind that night. But the shock written into the lines of his face said the opposite, that he was horrified to see the bond between us glowing bright and completed. I couldn’t help the arrogant smirk that I knew transformed my face, watching him so disturbed by the sight of my mate in my arms.

“Caldris,” he breathed, my name coming out as a horrified sigh. “What have you done?”

“Bold of you to assume I would do anything to harm my mate, Lunar Witch,” I snapped, watching as Medusa rolled her eyes. She shucked off the cloak she’d draped over her shoulders in spite of the heat, laying it down on the smoothest patch of bones and dust she could find. I followed without a word, laying Estrella down on it so that she could rest in peace. Positioning myself between her and Brann, I crossed my arms over my chest. “Whereas the last I saw of you, you attempted to drive a knife through my mate’s heart.”

Brann swallowed, pursing his lips as if ashamed of his actions. “Can you really blame me? You of all people know what Mab is capable of. I was trying to save her from that fate,” he said.

“You were trying to save yourself from being dragged into that situation along with her. You never cared if Mab found her. It was only a matter of time before she did and you knew it. She was never meant to remain in Nothrek forever. She was meant to be with me,” I hissed, hating the futility of the argument. None of it mattered now in truth, except that maybe, just maybe, we could have defeated Mab centuries ago. We could have saved countless lives and spent decades together.

We could have had children already, the thought hitting me with a pang of longing. Instead, I had a mate who thought herself only tobe in her twenties with an eternity spread out before her. We had all the time in the world, and I would not allow her to rush into motherhood for the sake of my desire for children.

All because of what he’d robbed me of. All because he’d been selfish and stolen her from the other Lunar Witches so that he could remain hidden away and never have to face Mab.

“That isn’t true,” he said, shaking his head. He looked around the side of me, studying Estrella’s face with a somber expression. “I never wanted this for her. I wanted her to have a normal life. To just get to be without words likefateanddestinyhanging over her. You don’t understand what it’s like to watch someone grow. To help raise them from a baby to a woman over and over and fucking over again and then watch her die. She may have seen me as a brother, but she was always more like a daughter to me. And there was never anything I could do to stop the ticking of the clock, but at least I knew she would come back. I knew she’d reincarnate, and I’d get to see her again. But if the Veil came down and she died…” He trailed off.

“She’d be gone,” Medusa said, finishing the thought as understanding filled her face.

“And what excuse did you use to justify not returning her to Alfheimr when she came into her last life? There would be no reincarnation for her after that final death, and you tried to kill her,” I said, half hoping I could drive the man to violence.

It would have been stupid, and it wouldn’t have taken even a flick of my finger to knock him on his ass, but sometimes, you just wanted to punch another man in the fucking throat and watch him choke.

“I wanted one last life with her, and I wasn’t willing to let that go until I had no choice. When the time came, I knew death would be a kindness compared to what Mab had in store for her,” he admitted, shrugging his shoulders as Estrella stirred behind us. “She may be your mate, and I understand that her place is at your side now. But for thirteen lives, she has been my responsibility. I couldn’t bear to admit that I’d done wrong by her when I took her from the rebellion. I couldn’t return her to Imelda and just say I was sorry for taking her away.”

“Yeah, I’d have been afraid of what Imelda would do to me, too, if I’d pulled the same shit you did,” I said, letting the conversation fall into silence. I moved to Estrella’s side, sitting next to her and pulling her head into my lap so that she could be more comfortable. Her skinwas pink where it was visible, like it was fresh and new and warm to the touch.

I didn’t dare to think of what she’d survived in that trial. What she’d had to accomplish to survive yet again.

FIFTY-SEVEN

ESTRELLA

My skin felt too tight as we approached the Cocytus the next day. Brann and Caldris had been mostly silent after I finally awoke, but I didn’t have the energy to ask what their conversation had been while I was asleep. For them to practically ignore one another’s existence while we traveled together by foot did not bode well for me at all. I reached up, removing Belladonna from where she’d wound herself around my bicep. The purple snake slithered down to the ground, making her way to Medusa who would look after her while I was gone. She was almost as comfortable with her as she was with me, and it brought me strange comfort to know with absolute certainty that she would be looked after if something happened to me.

That out of all the creatures in the world, at least the little snake would have a place to belong. She’d return to the home she’d had before me, and I wasn’t too proud to admit it was probably a safer one than I could offer her. The river gleamed with a blue that remindedme of sadness, the surface rippling as I stepped into the water. My muscles twitched with the shock of cold, but I forced myself to move deeper into the waters.

This was my final test, the final trial standing between me and the Cradle of Creation. I moved quickly, hoping to get through it sooner rather than later.

It was only the knowledge that the end to these struggles was so close that kept me moving, my irritability and exhaustion threatening to make me give up. I wanted nothing more than to rest for a week, to allow the bone-weary tiredness I felt take control and hide beneath the covers. These trials were not meant to be survived, because anyone who had less to live for than I did would no longer want to win.

I fought back tears as I moved into the water, grateful for the moment without Caldris’s watchful eyes. I knew he felt everything I did, knew the sympathetic, soft stare he leveled me with constantly came from a place of understanding. There was no hiding how deeply that last trial had wounded me, both physically and emotionally. It had weakened all my resolve, sinking deep into me and making me doubt myself in ways I hadn’t thought ever to do again. I’d been so close to death, so close to burning alive in that river and then the battle with the hydra.

If my life was always going to end in flames, if I was always going to be destined to die, then why was I fighting so hard to stay in the world of the living?

The only answer I had was love. It was what motivated me to push through and submerge myself in the Cocytus.

My ears rang as the water poured in, surrounding me and suffocating me. The sound of wailing filled me, an ear-piercing shriek that surrounded me and forced my hands to cover my ears in an attempt to shut it out. My mouth opened on a silent scream that matched the one I heard, my voice joining the cacophony of sound. My lungs burned as the water filled them, setting me aflame from the inside out as darkness pressed in.

I landed on the grass beneath me, sputtering and spitting out the water I’d swallowed. My stomach purged itself, emptying in a wave that felt like it would never end. The water itself tasted of salt, acrid and burning as my eyes watered.

Pushing myself to my feet as soon as I stopped vomiting, I looked around the garden surrounding me. Lush plants and trees were artfully arranged into neat patterns, a circular clearing at the center. Itwas covered in cobblestone, a natural pool in the middle with water the same blue as the river above my head. The waters rushed over me, carrying spirits and spectral forms down the current. Their mouths were opened into silent screams that I could no longer hear from my place beneath the waters, but the memory of that sound was one that I knew I would carry with me always.

It was the pain of grief, of loss and agony so thorough it knew no end.

The waters in the pool rippled, the branches of a tree hanging over it swaying as it bubbled. I stepped up beside it, staring down into the pool that seemed to have no bottom. A lone figure swam toward the surface, forcing me to back away as the male came closer and closer and then finally emerged from the depths. Water dripped down over his features as he flung his head back, flinging droplets of water at me as he tossed his hair out of his face, running strong fingers through it.

He was nude entirely, his body more on display than I’d ever seen it in my past. In our nights tucked away in the privacy of the woods, we’d never bothered to fully disrobe. It wasn’t safe, not when the risk of discovery came with too many consequences. We’d needed to be ready to flee at a moment’s notice. I averted my gaze quickly, focusing in on his face even though he didn’t seem at all perturbed by his stark nakedness.

“Loris?” I asked, hating the anguished expression on his face. It was one that matched the wails I’d heard in the river, and now that he’d presented himself to me, I could make out his voice in the memory. The deep, mournful cry that I’d never heard in life struck straight into my chest.

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