Page 48 of Protection for Rowan

Rowan shook her head. “No, it’s not. I know all the words and the reasons behind what I’m experiencing, but inside the feeling feels wrong. Does that make sense?”

Danika cut a slice of pie and put it on a plate. “Totally.”

“Having Jay made a difference for me. I hope Shine helps you like Jay helped me.”

Rowan drew in a slow breath, worry increasing. “I just don’t know if he’ll wait until I’m ready.”

Danika put down the pie knife and moved in for another hug. “He isn’t rushing you, is he?”

She shook her head. “No. I just fear that I won’t…you know.”

Nichole chuckled. “Their sex drive is high, I get why you are worried, but I’ll tell you what is bigger.”

She met Nichole’s eyes, worried about what she would say was bigger. “What?”

“Their loyalty and commitment. I can tell you without knowing Shine better, that he would rather cut off his own hand than betray you. I can see it in the way he looks at you. He is loyal to you.”

Nichole’s words sent a shiver through her. Shine did seem like the type who was loyal. But she really didn’t know when she would feel good enough to be with him.

“What if I never feel like having sex again?”

Danika shrugged. “Do you really think that’s a possibility?”

Rowan bit her lower lip. “I don’t know.”

Danika moved back to the pie and finished cutting the slices. She brought over the plates, and they settled around the table.

Rowan wasn’t sure how much she wanted to tell these women, but she felt like neither of them would hold this against her or spread it around. “He drugged me. I don’t know what he did. I feel so…so violated.”

Danika huffed out a breath. “It sucks when they do that. My ex used to drug me and then let his friends do what they wanted.”

“Oh shit, how did you…”

Danika held her gaze. “Get over it? You don’t really ever get over it. But Sharp is trustworthy. He knows exactly what I need to feel safe enough to be intimate with him. He isn’t ever going to force me to do something I don’t want to. We have a great love life because he’s a good man.”

“I’m sorry that happened to you.”

Danika squeezed her hand. “And I’m sorry you have to deal with this. It fucking sucks. There is no workaround to that. Those weak ass men who do this shit don’t deserve to hold onto our feelings or emotions. My ex was a bastard, and I won’t allow what he did to ruin my future.”

Rowan nodded, thinking about Danika’s words. Her situation was shockingly like hers. They’d all three experienced tragedy. She hated what those bastards had done to them, but they each had a good man who was there to pick up the pieces.

“Thank you.”

Nichole blinked at her. “For what?”

“Telling me what you went through. You’re right.Those assholes who meant to hurt us don’t deserve our futures. I want a good future, not something dictated by some asshole.”

Danika lifted a fork full of pie. “To a good future.”

Rowan chuckled and lifted one to match Danika. “Yes, to the future. May it be better than the past.”

Nichole lifted her fork, flashing a huge grin. “Much much better.”

Having these women by her side would help. They were right, Shine was a good man, and he was loyal. She could count on him to stand by her. No way would he run off just because she needed time to adjust to being home.

Her heart felt lighter, and she could breathe easier. Later, she would make sure he knew she loved him. It may take time to tamp down the negative physical response to being touched, but she had faith she could get there with Shine sooner rather than later.

When he arrived home,he heard the women in the kitchen. They were laughing about something. It was good to hear her laugh. The stress and worry seemed to lessen as he set down his things. Since Rowan had come home, she’d been serious. Then again, what had happened to her had been very serious. She needed time to heal, and he understood, but he wished she was better already.

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