Page 49 of Protection for Rowan

He heard Jay’s car first then Sharp’s vehicle. He let the guys in and the women came to the den to greet them. The lines around Rowan’s eyes were less, and she actually looked happy. Relief poured through him.

“Hey.” The brush of Rowan’s lips against his felt so good. “I hope you don’t mind. When Danika called, I didn’t even think of sending a text.”

“I’m glad you have someone who is here for you.”

He could have sworn her eyes grew brighter. He didn't want her to cry, so he moved his focus to the other people in the room. Nichole and Danika seemed thrilled to see their men, and his friends were just as in love as the women. He hoped he could get there with Rowan. She had a lot going on, and being held captive could have cost her more than just her safety and peace of mind. She could have easily been killed. At least she was here, and they could work things out.

Rowan was quick to smile and laughed easily at the conversation, but he could see by seven that evening she was exhausted. He didn’t want her to be too overwhelmed and gave Sharp a look.

Sharp stood and stretched. “Hey, I think it’s time we head home so I can get my beauty sleep.”

Danika laughed and stood beside him, hugging him close. “You do need some extra beauty tonight.”

“Is that code for something?” Nichole asked as she pulled Jay up off the couch.

Danika rolled her eyes. “Of course not.”

They all laughed as they headed toward the door. Shine was happy for them, and he wanted that kind of close relationship with Rowan. They had a lot of work to do, and he was here for it. He’d never felt this way about anyone else, or maybe he’d never allowed himself to feel this way. He’d always hoped to find Rowan again, though he hadn’t gone looking for her. But one thing he knew for sure, she was worth fighting for.

Chapter 35

Rowan almost feltready to return to work. She had been working with her therapist to get a handle on the fear. She had three appointments scheduled for clients on Tuesday morning. Enough time had passed that someone should have heard from Charles if he was in the area.

She knew the man could be in hiding, but would he stay in hiding for this long or would he take off? He probably wasn’t anywhere near San Diego. Maybe he’d crashed his car and died somewhere out in the wilderness.

She threw her hands up in the air and shook her head. “Ugh, I can’t go there. I need to get myself in order.” She chuckled derisively. “Talking to myself. I’d never see another patient if they knew.”

She dropped to the couch, putting her head in her hands. She was a mess, that much she knew for sure. She had to be able to keep herself together at work. She could do it because she had to. Her livelihood depended on it.

Maybe she should change specialties. But working closer with victims would probably set her off. She needed work that didn't pull at her emotions. Qualifying people forworking in aviation was important, but few of the people who wanted to work in aviation had experienced anything terrifying like abduction or facing terrorists. The only exception to that was when she saw special forces operators. But they weren't her typical clients. The people who came to see her had normal lives with little trauma in their pasts. She wasn't sure she wanted to change who she worked with.

Shine would be home soon. She drew in a deep breath, wondering if they should be moving forward at a faster pace. She still couldn’t get past what had happened to her. Maybe it would be better for Shine to be with someone else. She was holding him back. He deserved so much more than she could give now.

She heard his car pull into the drive and pushed away the sadness, trying to focus on moving forward. Shine was a great man, and that was part of the problem. She wasn’t good enough for him.

After dinner, they were on the couch watching some comedy. He put his arm around her, pulling her close. A part of her wanted to do more than just sit beside him, but when she thought of them naked together, she couldn't help but feel immense pressure. Getting to the point she was willing to have sex would take a while. Shine wouldn't want to wait that long, but she wasn't ready to walk away from him.

She wasn’t strong enough to leave. No question, she needed him to keep standing upright. If he left, the fragile shell of herself she was holding together would shatter.

The talk with Danika and Nichole was still there, but fear and worry had pushed it to the background. She needed more reminding. Everything felt like too much, and she needed to get her head on straight.

Another night passed without sex. After Shine left forwork, she sat in the den, crying. She wasn't being fair to him. He needed more, and she couldn't give it to him. Maybe a chat with her therapist would help. Today wasn't the day, though, because this was her first time back at work, and she needed to focus on her clients, not herself.

By three that afternoon, she was ready for home and maybe a nap. Exhaustion hit over an hour ago, but somehow, she'd held it together. The day hadn't been bad, but listening to other people had worn her out. At least the people she'd seen today had been easy. No one had any real issues that required her full attention. Her schedule this week was with people who weren’t at risk of losing their jobs, just pilots who’d been working long enough they needed a recheck.

The days progressed like she expected. Work wasn't hard, and nothing special happened with Shine. On Saturday, when she woke, she was a little disappointed that they didn't seem to be closer to having sex. Was it him holding back or her fault because she couldn't get it together?

She stepped into the kitchen, sighing as she saw Shine sitting at the table with a mug of coffee. His biceps flexed when he lifted his mug, making her feel a little weak in the knees. She knew how good those arms felt around her. The thought of him holding her close, his attention only on her, sent a shiver straight through her.

He glanced up, his lips curving into a smile. “Oh, you’re awake.”

“I guess I slept late.”

Shine moved to her, kissing her lightly on the lips. She held on, not willing to let go. He paused, his eyes narrowing and then going wide.

She placed her hand on his chest, soaking in his warmth. He seemed to stiffen, and she wrapped her free arm around his waist. That made his eyes grow wider.

"I was wondering…" She slid her hand down the front of his body, not quite to the waistband of his pants.

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