Page 22 of Shame

He makes a non-committal noise and scratches something on his notepad.

“Tell me about your wife.”

I frown. We’re not going to dig into the ego thing? But I’d rather talk about Grace any day. “She’s amazing.”

“What else? What would the old Luke have said?”

“Which one?” College Luke was in awe of Grace, too. When did we lose that?

“The one who had an affair. What would he say about Grace?”

“She’s too good for me.” I’m getting used to the poignant pause after I say something significant. I shift in my seat. “She’s elegant. Smart. Successful.”

“What made you bristle?”

“Stupid shit.”

“Was it stupid to you then?”

“I had a short temper. I’d pick fights with her.”

“And now?”

“I want to learn how to communicate better. I want to figure out why I picked fights with her.”

“Do you think it might have anything to do with the fact she’s elegant, smart, and successful?”

“No.” I scowl. “She’s also warm, funny, sexy.”

“And you value those things more.”

“I didn’t say that.”

He nods. “No.”

Fuck. “I never meant…”

“Do you still see her as elegant?”

I picture her face, tear-stained and puffy, asleep on our bed. “Yes.”

“Remote?”

I jerk my head up and glare at him. “I never said I thought she was remote.”

“Aloof? Cold? I’m just asking. Those are sometimes synonyms for elegant.”

“This isn’t her fault.”

“No. You made a decision you regret. This is all about you. But it’s also about the stories you tell yourself to justify that decision. You need to unpack all of it, including the negative things you thought about your wife then. Turn them around.”

* * *

I stopat the bookstore on the way home and buy every book on the reading list the doc gave me. Then I pick up a grocery order, because I don’t plan to leave my temporary lodgings for a few days. The less I come and go, the better.

It’s a solid plan in theory. But it gets blown out of the water when I pull into my parking spot, and Grace is walking across the garage from the private access elevator at the same moment.

She frowns. “What are you doing here?”

---