Page 67 of Annika's Aurora

A day later, Annika was happy to be out of the hospital, but sad her parents were leaving. “Really, Mom. You don’t have to leave.”

“You and Logan need time together. And you don’t need your old parents hovering over you,” she explained.

“You’re not old.”

Johanna patted her daughter’s hand. “Heart of gold.” Annika sat on the bed in her parent’s room, watching her mother pack. How many times had she done exactly this growing up? Anytime they went anywhere, she’d sit and watch her mother while they talked, just like now.

Johanna placed the sweater she had just folded into the suitcase. “He knows everything?” she asked.

Annika rolled her eyes. “Yes, Mom. He knows everything.”

“Good. But I have one more thing I need to tell both of you,” she confessed, zipping up the suitcase. Annika grabbed it before her mother could, placing it on its wheels on the floor. She was curious about what her mother could possibly have to tell them.

Johanna walked out into the great room and asked Logan and Annika to sit on the couch. She stood in front of them nervously wringing her hands.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Jansen asked her.

“It’s time they knew.”

“Mom,” Annika started, suddenly concerned. Had her mother been hiding an illness from her. Was she okay? “You’re scaring me. What is it?” Logan reached over and grasped her hand.

“I never told you what we learned that night after the accident. About Jamie.”

“What about Jamie?” Annika asked.

She was wringing her hands again. “You remember he’d had all those heart problems when he was younger?” They both nodded. Annika remembered the days and weeks they’d spent in hospitals trying to fix his heart.

Logan seemed to grasp what she was trying to say to them. “Are you trying to tell us?”

“Yes,” she interrupted, tears in her eyes. “Logan, it wouldn’t have mattered if you had managed to pull him out of the car. He was already gone. His heart gave out.”

Annika gasped. Logan ran his fingers through his hair in complete shock. “Oh my god,” Annika wheezed. She was breathing hard. Scared she might hyperventilate, she struggled to slow her breathing. She could feel Logan breathing beside her, his arm wrapped around her shoulders as if he sensed she needed aid. All this time … there was that word again. Time.

Annika stood and started pacing in front of the big windows that overlooked the lake. All that wasted time. If her parents had only been honest with them from the beginning, would things have been different?

Oh,God!All the grief, the depression, thesuicide! Had it all been unnecessary? Could she have had the last fifteen years with Logan? He would have been by her side through the grief. They would have helped each other. Neither one of them would have had to be alone through it all. She wouldn’t have felt so lost, so hopeless. Never would she have surrendered to that desperate act of suicide.

But what good did it do to dwell on all she lost. There was nothing she could do to change the past. She had a chance now to be happy. A chance to have everything she’d always dreamed of having. With Logan.

They’d all made so many mistakes. But maybe, just maybe, it was time to look forward. Tomorrowisa new day with no mistakes in it.Thank you, Anne of Green Gables.It was time to move forward. Sure, they could think of the past and remember it fondly. Learn from past mistakes but keep moving forward. One step at a time.

Annika turned around to find her mother on the couch next to Logan. She had one of his hands in hers. “I know what you are thinking,” she was saying to him. “That if you had known about Jamie all those years ago, things might have been so different. And that might be true. We’ll never know. But I never imagined you’d cut yourself off from us so completely. I understood the first couple of weeks; you were grieving, you needed time. I could never have imagined you’d need fifteen years.

“We should have told you both from the beginning. We thought at the time what difference would it make for you to know how he died. It was a mistake. If we had known then why you’d cut yourself off from us, we might have made a different decision. We never felt you were responsible so we never imagined you would blame yourself. We never dreamed you would think you caused his death. Now, it’s my turn to take some of the blame. All the years of hardships you both went through … I am so sorry …” She broke off on a sob.

“No, Mom.” Everyone turned to look at her. “It’s time to stop. No more accepting blame. No more guilt for past mistakes. Tomorrow is a new day for all of us. Let’s all start living. It’s what Jamie would have wanted for us.” She didn’t realize she was crying until Logan came to her and wiped a tear off her cheek. “God, Logan. Remember how much zest for life he had? How could we have forgotten that? We’ve done such a disservice to his memory. That needs to stop. Here and now. It’s time to live like Jamie did.”

He placed his palm against her cheek. Annika closed her eyes and leaned into its warmth. She saw the depths of his feelings for her in his eyes, but also something else. Some unnamed emotion that scared her a little. He leaned down and kissed her forehead as Annika threw herself into his arms, too overwhelmed with emotion to say anything coherent.

She looked at her parents. Johanna, of course, was crying. Even Jansen eyes looked watery. “Mom,” she held her hand out to Johanna, who grabbed it like it was a lifeline. “While I wish you had told us all those years ago, I understand why you didn’t. I’m glad you finally told us the truth. And now we can move on and start creating new memories.”

“You, Sweetie, have a heart of gold!” Johanna cried through her tears.

Jansen had his camera bag in his hand. “Okay, everyone. Time to begin those new memories, starting with a new family portrait. So, dry your eyes, ladies, and go stand in front of the tree.”

Jansen set the camera up on the tripod and set the timer. Then stood with the rest of his family in front of the tree. The four of them had their arms around each other’s shoulders. A cohesive unit. Then came the silly candids, which they had a good laugh over.

“One more,” Johanna said. “Of just the two of you.” Annika stood with Logan. Their arms wrapped around each other, big silly grins on their faces. “Perfect.”

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