Page 31 of Land of Shadow

“How?” And the question that seems to grow larger in my mind with each passing second:what the hell makes you so certain I can do this?

She drops her voice to barely a whisper. “We can’t talk about this here.”

I’m struck dumb. Both by the fear in her eyes and the way she glances around as if she thinks we’re being watched. What is this? She’s the most powerful person in the world. She’s president; she won it all and calls the shots. But the worry in her eyes says otherwise. It says far more than her whispered words: she’s in over her head.

I’m utterly lost. It’s as if the world has shifted beneath my feet again and again. Where do we stand now?

“Are you all right?” I whisper.

“We’re fine. We’ll be fine.” She steps back and adds loudly, “In any case, you have what you need. We all want to end the plague, that’s not a question. I just need you to continue your research and share your findings with Valen. On that note, it would be best if you stayed at the lab building where you can focus on your work, and I can focus here on mine. For now, I have a meeting I can’t miss.” Striding toward the door, she opens it for me. “Please let Candice or Fatima know if you need anything else for the lab.”

I don’t know what to do. She looks commanding right now, like someone in complete control of everything and everyone around her. But now I see that for what it is. She’s surviving, and she’s trying to make sure I survive, too. It doesn’t quench my anger, it doesn’t do anything to repair the fraying threads that bind us, but I still trust her. Because she’s right—she is more a mother to me than anyone else in my life. If I can protect her, I will.

I pass by her, then stop and pull her in for a hug. Her familiar perfume wafts by again, and I whisper into her ear. “Be careful.”

She hugs me back, tighter than ever, then lets go. “Hurry up and get back. It’s dark out.”

I nod and stride past Candice, who’s busy pretending to be on a call though none of the lines on her phone are lit.

Walking through the evening gloom, I slow my pace and breathe in the frigid air.

Footsteps behind me have me whirling. A girl is jogging toward me, her flats slapping against the pavement as my Secret Service shadow strides along behind her.

“Dr. Clark?” she calls.

“Yeah?” I guess she’s not a threat since Mr. Secret Service keeps his distance.

“Um, hi.” She gives me a little wave as she approaches. “I’m Sheila.”

“Hi, I guess. What can I do for you?” I want to get back to my apartment, somewhere I can sit and think.

The girl slows, her furry earmuffs looking cozy despite the chill. I need a set of those. “You forgot this.” She furtively hands me an envelope.

“Huh?” I look at the nondescript paper.

“Okay, bye.” She turns and scurries back up Pennsylvania Avenue.

I stare after her, then stuff the envelope in my pocket. It’s not like I can read it in the dark, and Sheila doesn’t seem inclined to give me any explanation.

The soldiers in front of the hotel wave me in, though the redhead from earlier isn’t here. Once I’m out of the cold, I open the envelope. My sister’s scrawl is almost too tiny to read. “Old Capitol Deli, 1:45 am. Lose your agent. Burn this NOW.”

I re-read the note then stuff it into my pocket. Maybe this will give me the answers I’m looking for.

9

By the time I make it back to the lab, it’s empty. I don’t even know what happened to the blood sample. I assume it’s in the containment lab for the night. I take the elevator up to my place—though I’m still not fully sure of that idea.

When the doors open, I trudge inside and toss my backpack onto the polished wood entry table. I need a shower, a snack, and some rest. Today was somehow both more and less than I’d bargained for. I thought I’d be working up Valen’s blood. Instead, I’ve been caught up in whatever machinations Juno has created.

“Fuck.” I yawn and kick off my shoes.

“Not now. Perhaps later.”

I jump at Valen’s voice. “What the hell?”

“You were supposed to be in these rooms at nightfall or have you already forgotten our discussion from earlier?”

“I—”

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