Page 79 of Hearts Like Hers

“I’m hurting,” she said, meeting Autumn’seyes briefly. “I feel like someone just flipped the board on me. But it’s bestfor them, and that’s the part I care most about.”

“Kate. I’m so sorry that happened to you.”She moved a strand of hair out of Kate’s eyes. The breeze rustled past. “Thatyou’re hurting.”

“It hurts less when I’m with you,” Kate said,reaching for Autumn, who to her surprise took a forlorn step back as a look ofunderstanding crossed her features.

She closed her eyes. “That’s why you’rehere.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I get it now. You’ve been dealt a blow, anawful one, and you’re looking for a way to get air, to cope. It makes sense.”

Kate nodded. “Maybe.”

“That’s my function,” Autumn said, as much toherself as to Kate.

Kate felt her defenses flare. “No. That’s notat all your function. You don’t have a function. You’re just Autumn to me.”

“Yeah, but I’m not your real life. Thinkabout it, Kate. I’m the girl you run to when you need to escape it. And I can’tbelieve I’m saying this, but I don’t know that I can be that anymore. It’sbecome…too much.” She placed a hand on her heart as if it hurt just too deeply.

“No.” Kate felt a little sick. “Hey, look atme. Please?”

Autumn did.

“That’s not true, you being some sort ofescape for me.”

“Unfortunately, it is,” Autumn said. “Theonly reason you’re standing here is because something went wrong. You’rerunning again, Kate. It’s what you do when you’re hurting.”

Kate didn’t know what to say, because whilethere was validity in that statement, there was so much more to it, to her andAutumn. To hear Autumn minimize it was jarring and had her on her proverbialheels. This hadn’t been what she’d expected at all. “So, what are you saying?”

The next part seemed to come hard for Autumn.“I think I’m saying that it’s really good to see you.” She touched Kate’s cheeksoftly, and then withdrew her hand. “But I need to take care of me right now.”

“We can take care of each other.”

Autumn nodded. “Until you’re feeling betterand on your way again?”

“I don’t know,” Kate said honestly. “I’mfocused on the present. What’s so wrong with that?”

“Nothing. But if I’ve learned anything fromall of this, it’s that the long run matters. At least to me.” She smiled sadly.“You take care of yourself, Lieutenant. Find your happiness. You deserve it.”

And then to her shock, the most amazing girlin the world, the most amazing person, turned and walked in the oppositedirection down the beach, and right out of her life.

* * *

Autumn didn’t cry over Kate.

She wanted to. Her heart felt like it hadsplintered in a hundred different directions, but it was the time in her lifefor strength, and she drew on those reserves now. She hadn’t planned on it, butshe’d gone out there and fallen in love. She’d been in love before, sure, butit hadn’t been anything like this. With Olivia, their connection had been aboutthe fun they’d had, the restaurants they went to, the friends they’d made. Thesum of their life together.

With Kate, it was about that other person. Itwas about who they were to each other. She’d be perfectly content in a drabroom alone for hours, talking or not talking, as long as Kate was there. Theyjust fit in the most perfect way imaginable. But that wasn’t enough. She neededKate to want a future every bit as much as she did. She deserved that.

She’d put her heart on the line and it hadn’tworked out.

Did she wish things could be different? Morethan anything. But she knew where they stood now, and unless she was a gluttonfor punishment, it was time to protect her heart. The battered thing was barelyhanging in there.

She considered running to Hadley or Gia orIz, but to what end? At some point, she had to depend on herself, and shewould. From this moment on.

“There’s my baby girl!” she heard, uponarriving back at Pajamas. She turned. Oh, please, no. Not her mother. Nottoday. Vicky had her hand on Steve’s shoulder, no doubt enjoying herself at theobjectification of Autumn’s assistant manager. “We were wondering where you’dsnuck off to,” Vicky said.

Steve passed her an apologetic glance.

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