“This is not breakfast.”
“You are correct. Technically, it is lunch. Eat. The charcoal will soak up the alcohol.”
Levi sighed, forcing the food down his throat while Leonard watched him.
“Did you want some?” he offered.
“No, not particularly. I did not overindulge for three straight days, and so it is not necessary.”
“You are exaggerating.”
“Truly, I wish I was.”
When, at last, Levi had finished his lunch, he instinctively searched for his glass. His friend laughed emptily at him.
“I have had it taken away,” he explained. “You do not need any more of that stuff. What you need is to sleep this away, and then speak to your wife,”
“I cannot.”
“I do not care. I can see that you are unhappy, anyone can, but avoiding the one person that you are supposed to care for more than anyone else is not going to help either of you. You need to tell her why you are doing all of this.”
“What good would that do? It will only make her afraid of me, and then we shall be even worse off.”
“Or, she will make you see that you are afraid for no good reason, and that you can be a good husband if you simply try.”
“Why is it that you can be so intelligent and still not understand a word that I say?”
Leonard handed him a glass of water, and the moment the liquid touched his lips he finished it and asked for another. Already, he was feeling the effects of his indulgence subside, and the numbing that it had caused left with it. It pained him to know what he had done, and what he was doing, but it didnot persuade him at all to change his mind. She was better off without him, he decided, and that was that.
“I would try to understand,” Leonard explained, “if you were not being so ridiculous. She is not some wounded animal, she is the lady you married. Have you even once considered how she must be feeling about all of this?”
“It is all that I have been thinking about. That is why I came here. I wanted to forget about it all.”
“Well, you cannot. I am your friend, Levi, and as your friend I must tell you that this cannot continue. You will go home to her this evening, and you will tell her about everything.”
Levi sighed, taking a seat. He knew that Leonard was right, and that he would have to face up to it eventually, but he wanted to ignore it, and pretend there was nothing to discuss. He wanted to pretend that there was not a beautiful lady sitting in his home, wondering if he would ever return. I was unfair to her, and he knew that, but it was better than her seeing the man that he would become.
He had doomed Emma to a life with him, and looking her in the eye and telling her as much would only prove that. He wanted to continue the lie, and pretend that he was a normal gentleman, for a little while longer.
However, evening came and Leonard took him to his carriage, sending him home. He considered going to his gentlemen’s club, but even in his clouded judgment he knew that he had to dobetter. He had to face his wife, even if she would then want to be away from him.
The moment he entered, he heard a soft sob from the parlor room, and his stomach lurched.
His mother had confronted her, he thought, and was saying the most awful things to her just as she had done to him all his life. He had left Emma with his mother, alone, all because he was too selfish to tell her the truth.
He burst into the room, prepared to tell his mother to leave them else he would have to find other living arrangements, only to find Emma alone, sitting on a settee, startled.
“My sincerest apologies,” he said quietly. “I did not mean to intrude.”
“It is quite alright,” she said quickly, fixing herself and looking to the floor.
“Why are you crying?”
“Why do you care?”
He softened at that. In truth, he did not know why, but the sight of her in such sorrow pained him and he wanted to help her. It was another reason why he preferred to be away from her. At least then, he could tell himself that she was happy, and hetherefore did not have to feel the ache in his chest that she was hurting.
He wanted to take her elsewhere, hoping that she might then listen to him. He picked her up from the settee, snaking an arm around her waist and holding her in his arms, carrying her out of the room. She squealed at him, her eyes looking around frantically.