Page 85 of A Duchess Disciplined

That caught her off guard. She stared uncomprehendingly at him, as he twirled her around. “What do you mean?” she asked.

“I mean that I took leave of my senses,” he said. “I forgot that this was merely a marriage of convenience, and I foolishly convinced myself that it could be something more than it was.”

A gasp tore from Catherine’s lips. Her body shivered, as if she had been cast into an ice-filled lake. “What?”

She scarcely dared to breathe. He could not mean it. Their marriage had been pleasant. Enjoyable! She hadlikedhim, more than liked him! He could not possibly mean that it was all just—just amistake! Catherine felt, rather than saw, all the blood drain from her face.

“I am sorry that I have given you the wrong impression, but a marriage of convenience is all that this arrangement will ever be. You should abandon any thoughts you harbored about this marriage being anything else, while it is still early,” William said. “That is what is best for the both of us.”

Desperation rose inside her. Catherine’s throat felt heavy and thick, and she was struck by the sudden, unfamiliar urge tobeghim to take back the words. She would have given anything for him to laugh and insist that he was only playing a cruel jest upon her.

“You cannot mean that,” Catherine said. “You are not amusing, William.”

“Your Grace,” he corrected.

Catherine fell silent, her mind racing as they went through the dance. He said nothing either, and when she searched his face for even the smallest scrap of kindness, she found only a cold, impenetrable mask. He was serious.What was she to do?

Catherine shook her head. “No.”

“This is not your decision to make,” William replied.

The song ended. He dropped his hands and bowed formally. Unmoored, Catherine looked at him for a long moment. She was beginning to understand. He was serious. Hedidmean it.

“All because I fell from a tree?” she asked, forcing back the accursed tears that threatened to overflow. “I have already promised not to do that again. I will not even climb.”

“This is not about the tree,” William said. “This is about a realization that I have recently had.”

Her breath hitched. “Because I fell from the tree.”

William seized her arm and pulled her away from the other couples, as the next dance began. Catherine let him pull her along without even raising a complaint. He halted by the wall and leaned so near to her that his breath swept over her right cheek. “Do not cry,” he said. “That is unseemly.”

“You have only yourself to blame,” she said, her lips quivering. “Why would you say something so awful to me? Have I not tried to be everything that you wanted me to be?”

William nodded. “You have tried,” he said. “The fault is not with you but with me. It is best that we do not love one another.”

The words were like a blow to her heart. Even if he had struck her, Catherine did not think that she would have been so wounded. He wanted this to be a marriage of convenience only. William wanted to tear down everything that they had become.

“William—”

“Your Grace,” he interrupted, “or my lord.Williamis far too informal for a marriage of convenience.”

“What of your sisters, Your Grace?” she asked through gritted teeth. “You have not been joining us for meals, and your sisters have noticed your absences. I promised them that you would still continue to eat with them, and you have made me a liar.”

“No,” he argued. “You made a foolish choice and expect me to pay for your errors.”

“I see.”

Catherine roughly wiped her eyes, staining her gloves with her own tears. She sniffled. Something else curled inside her, something that was harsh and jagged and nothing at all like the waves of despair that rose within her, threatening to consume her.

“Well,” Catherine said, straightening her spine. “I see that you will not be dissuaded from your selfishness.”

William smiled thinly. “It is far more selfish to ask for more than I have offered you.”

“I understand,” she said. “Thank you for telling me,Your Grace. Am I correct in assuming that I have your leave to return to the estate? I trust that my appearance tonight has been sufficient enough to satisfy you.”

“You appearance tonight has been entirely appropriate until now.”

“Excellent,” Catherine replied. “I am suddenly feeling quite ill, and I wish to retire.”

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