Page 16 of Escape to the Country

When I arrived home that lunchtime, I made myself a cup of tea, sank into the sofa and tucked my feet up. I covered myself with the mohair throw which was always on the back of the sofa – for decorative rather than practical purposes until now – and spread the books out on my lap, deciding which one to read first.

I promised myself just a few chapters as I knew I had things to do, but before I knew it, it was early afternoon and I needed to get a wriggle on as I was due over at Growlers at 3p.m. for a few hours. For the first time in a very long while, sitting and losing myself in a book had felt relaxing yet at the same time exhilarating. I hadn’t thought of anything else for the last few hours, totally immersing myself in the story. Perhaps there was something to this reading lark after all.

* * *

As I had been doing for the last few days, I made sure that Baxter was my first port of call when I arrived at Growlers. He was so happy to see me, jumping up at the kennel door. I let myself in and sat with him for about fifteen minutes before letting the dogs in the field for their afternoon exercise session. Some had to be walked separately, as they didn’t mix well, but those that did all went together and played boisterously with each other. I threw a tennis ball and yelled ‘Ozzy, come’ to a large Rottweiler, just like Uncle Tom had taught me, and laughed as he thundered towards me. I stood my ground, knowing that there was no way he would run straight at me. How wrong I was. I was completely winded as he knocked me flying and I fell backwards, bum first, into a paddling pool full of cold water. I heard chortling from reception and Uncle Tom was holding his side and laughing so hard. After my dignity was restored, I returned to the office where he gave me a big hug and made me feel so much better, if a little stupid.

‘Maybe next time, move out of the way, just in case, Madison.’ He laughed.

* * *

That evening, after I’d filled more poo bags than I ever thought possible and thrown more tennis balls than I thought existed in the world, I popped into the hospital to see Beth, but when I arrived she was asleep. Glad that I’d brought my book along with me, I settled in to read but after just one page it was almost as if she sensed that I was there. She turned her head. ‘Hey, thanks for coming.’ She was still really groggy.

‘Hey, gorgeous, sorry I woke you.’ I tried to think of something to say that wasn’t ‘how are you?’ – a rather ridiculous question right now but one that most of the time you couldn’t help but ask.

‘I’m sorry if I look like shit.’ She tried to move around to make herself more comfortable and even that exertion looked like it exhausted her. I jumped up to hold her forward while I adjusted the pillows and propped her up.

‘You could never look like shit, Beth. You even look fabulous in a hospital gown with your arse hanging out the back. Are you in pain?’

She giggled but I could see how much it hurt her. ‘Thank you for saying that but I know I don’t. Luckily I’m off my tits on morphine so I can’t feel a thing right now.’

I smiled. It was great to see that she hadn’t lost her sense of humour despite what she’d gone through.

‘Don’t take the piss! Actually, someone could come and take the piss, because I’ve got a catheter in and I’m sure I probably stink of wee! I think they need to empty it!’

‘Don’t worry about that, I love you even if you do stink of wee.’

She enjoyed hearing all about my morning with the Darbys and I told her they’d sent their love and how much their visit to them had warmed my heart.

‘You can’t beat the feeling of knowing that you are helping someone,’ she said.

‘You’re right, you know. I know I’ve helped people in a work capacity but this is kind of helping someone to live, and today just filled my heart with joy.’

‘I knew it would. I just knew it. So what are your plans for tomorrow?’ she asked.

‘I’m doing a full day at doggy daycare tomorrow. So that’ll be a test for me,’ I laughed. I’d agreed with Rebecca to go back to the library the day after tomorrow for my next project and told Beth that all I knew was that I was going to see a Mr Parkes. Beth smiled. ‘Ah! Mr Parkes. Can’t wait to hear all about it.’

When Alex and Uncle Tom walked through the door, we were laughing raucously, reminiscing about our very first holiday abroad. What we thought was going to a be a little fishing village, filled with Greek character and charm, had actually turned out to be party central and filled with booze, drugs and boys. Blimey, we grew up a lot in that fortnight, seeing things that we could never unsee.

I reminded Beth of the time she squealed in horror when she got pulled up onto the stage of a nightclub by the compere and told that she’d been chosen to be a judge in a Mr Wet Y-Fronts competition and she ran off and hid in the toilet. We never left each other’s side for the whole time we were there, petrified that we might be led astray. Two naive country bumpkins from a little village in the sticks of Staffordshire thrust into a world that we never imagined even existed. But oh boy, did we have a good time! We laughed about Thanassis, a full-blooded, eighteen-year-old Greek boy who followed Beth around from dusk till dawn, desperate to woo her and who kept trying to lure her up dark alleys to snog her. And then there was Aki, the drop-dead gorgeous jet ski instructor, who spent the day strutting up and down the beach in his Speedos, thinking he was God’s gift to women, while all the teenage girls on the beach drooled over him. Such amazing memories of a belter of a holiday, never to be forgotten.

I glanced at Alex, who was shuffling from one foot to another in the doorway, and caught my breath. I’m sure I must have been staring. He was even more handsome than I remembered, and I felt my cheeks flush as I took in his salt and pepper hair, stubbly beard, the dark denim jeans, white open-necked shirt and his hands hidden in the pockets of a – clearly very expensive – tan leather jacket. He oozed sophistication and charm but the best part of all was that he had absolutely no idea. He smiled at me and the room lit up. He had always had the most beautiful smile I had ever seen.

We’d had a couple of ‘moments’ over the years and I wondered whether he remembered. The first was at my eighteenth birthday party, which was held at the farm. Mum and I were spending the night there, and all the oldies had gone to bed and there was just me, Alex and Beth left up. Alex and I plonked ourselves down on the sofa out in the conservatory while Beth was clearing up in the kitchen. Our thighs were touching and as I turned and looked up into Alex’s deep blue eyes, my breath caught in my throat. He was gorgeous and I had loved him all my life. It was as if time stood still as he gently reached out to me, put his hand to my cheek, and lowered his head to mine. Our lips were mere millimetres apart. His stubble brushed against my chin and the smell of his musky aftershave made my body tingle with anticipation. All my inhibitions were flung out of the window with the three pints of cider I’d drunk and I just wanted to snog his face off.

I closed my eyes, waiting for his lips to touch mine, a dream I had waited for ever since I could remember. I thought that my body was going to spontaneously combust through anticipation.

At that exact moment, bloody Beth came flouncing into the room, totally oblivious to our situation, and flung herself across our laps, declaring my birthday party a huge success. Our ‘moment’ was lost but I’d never forgotten it. Alex went back to university a week later and I didn’t see him for months. When he graduated, he landed a job as an architect in New York, and it was there that he met Sophie.

The last time I’d seen him was when he flew back for their grandma’s funeral with her. She was absolutely stunning with her thick, shiny, long chestnut-brown hair and huge hazel eyes, which peered out from under her perfect fringe, her make-up flawless, on skin that didn’t have one imperfection. A little bit of me hated her guts. Especially because at that particular time, my skin from the neck up was completely blotchy and I probably had mascara streaks from all the crying I’d been doing that morning.

As we stood at the church and said our goodbyes to a lady who had always been in my life, I looked across and saw Sophie draping her arm around her husband’s shoulders and pulling him close to her, and I wished with my whole being that it was me who was comforting him, not her. But it wasn’t and I vowed that I had to be nice to the woman that the man I secretly loved had chosen to be with.

We were all so distressed at the time, and when I tried to give the family some time to be together, Uncle Tom insisted that Mum and I stuck around, saying wewerefamily. Mum did everything she practically could to help them, preparing food so that they didn’t go hungry, even helping out at the farm where she could to make their lives as easy as possible. I now felt bad because I hadn’t wanted to get my hands dirty. I was all power suits and immaculate grooming in those days, just trying to impress everyone, and looking back now, I really should have done more to help.

I do remember Alex coming out of the toilet at the farm one day just after the funeral, as I was standing outside waiting to go in. He looked so sad, and I gave him what started as a friendly, sisterly hug, which neither of us pulled away from, and it developed into something that made my heart pound. He didn’t seem to want to let me go. He held me close to his chest and sighed as he reached one hand into my hair and rested the other under my chin, tilting my face to look up at him. Once more, I got lost in those gorgeous blue eyes and time stood still for what seemed like minutes, and when he looked at my lips and moved his head just a tiny bit closer, I held my breath and closed my eyes. We pulled apart sharply when we heard a cough, and from nowhere Sophie appeared and it all got a little bit awkward. After that, I felt like he couldn’t wait to get away from me. She just glared at me and walked back into the kitchen. She’d never liked me. Perhaps she could sense my crush. I had gone as red as a beetroot, so I presumed so.

I blushed again now just thinking about it, and as I looked up, his eyes met mine across the room as I was brought back to the present. He smiled at me and fireworks exploded in my tummy.

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