Page 21 of Never To Forever

Dropping my hands, I ball my fists into my sheets and take several long breaths to slow my racing heart. That’s enough. I have to bring this to an end. The kiss with Marie was a mistake, and one I will not repeat. Nothing more will happen than that. I refuse to break my promise to my mother.

I can’t deny that I want Marie. That I’m attracted to her. Fine. I acknowledge those feelings and desires. That doesn’t mean they get to control me.

After today, I will not touch Marie again, and no matter how difficult it might be, I’m going to push these inappropriate thoughts of her out of my head.

CHAPTER NINE

MARIE

I stareup at my bedroom ceiling, completely exhausted after a night tossing and turning. Groaning, I press the palms of my hands against my eyes. A headache builds in my temples. It’s going to be a rough day, and it’s all Garrett’s fault. Him and his heart-stopping kiss. I haven’t been able to get it out of my head. The little sleep I got was overwhelmed with dreams about Garrett and that damn kiss, but also of him running away right after.

Fuck, that was humiliating. He was the one who kissed me first! What gave him the right to flee like I was trying to jump him in the middle of the library? Talk about mixed signals. I’m more confused about his feelings for me than ever. Maybe if I had better insight into how his mind works… only one person who knows Garrett better than me.

Rolling over, I grab my cell phone off my side-table and shoot a text to Haven.

Marie: Hey! Are you free today after work?

Haven: Sure am!

Marie: Do you want to meet up? Brew Ridge?

Haven: Sounds good.

Thank God. Haven will give me some advice for handling Garrett. To understand exactly what happened yesterday.

Why did he run away? I thought the kiss was great—intense and arousing. When his lips touched mine, it felt like a fire blazed to life deep in my belly. The kiss felt so right, so perfect, better than I had ever imagined. I hadn’t wanted it to end. I’d thought that, at last, he was seeing me as the woman I am and not the little girl he seemed to hold on to his mind.

But, apparently, I’d been wrong.

Throwing my blanket aside, I climb out of bed and shuffle into my bathroom to get ready for the day. Ally has already left for school for the day. I try not to think of Garrett, but I can’t erase the image of him running away out of my mind, no matter how hard I try. It’s going to be so awkward seeing him today… if he even shows up. Maybe he’ll decide he doesn’t want my help anymore after all. I mean, it’s not like it’s essential that I help him. He’s got a week until his next paper is due—it would be slow going with one hand, but he could write it all by himself. I don’t know how to approach this situation.

I head into work with a knot in my stomach. It’s going to be okay. We’re both adults. We can talk about this. Handle the fallout of that kiss and him running away with all the maturity and grace of a teenage boy. Yeah… yeah, that’s what we’ll do. It’ll be fine. No problem at all.

Walking into the library, I’m afraid my heart is going to burst because it’s racing so fast. I make my way to the reception desk, give Kathy a quick hello, and plop down behind my computer. Determined not to worry about Garrett, I do my best to focus on work for the morning. Garrett shows up early in the afternoons to do his schoolwork, but about noon, I get a text from him.

Garrett: Hey, sorry, I can’t make it today. I’ll see you tomorrow, maybe.

Oh… shit.

Slumping back in my chair, I release a long breath of disappointment. Things are now so awkward, he doesn’t even want to be around me anymore. I can read right through that ‘maybe’… I don’t think he’s going to come back to the library.

I make it through the rest of the workday despite my glum mood, doing my best not to let it show around Kathy or the kids who come in for story time after school. When I get done, I collect my stuff, say goodbye to Kathy, and head to the coffee shop to meet Haven.

She’s already there when I arrive, sitting at a table in the corner, two drinks in front of her. When she sees me, she smiles and waves. I hurry over to her.

“Hey!” I say, reaching the table. “Thanks for meeting me.”

“No problem, girlie.” She pushes a cup toward me. “I got you your latte.”

“You’re an angel,” I sigh, sliding into the seat across from her. “What are you drinking?”

“Tea.” She holds up her cup and takes a sip. “God, I miss coffee.”

“I can’t imagine,” I grumble. “I think I’d die.”

Haven grins and rests a hand on her belly.

“Yeah, it’ll be worth it in the end,” she says.

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