Page 22 of Never To Forever

“I have no doubt about that.” I gaze at her, warmth spreading through me. She looks tired, but happy. Really, really happy.

“So,” she says, looking up at me and arching a brow, “what did you want to talk about? Don’t get me wrong, I love having a spontaneous girl hang out, but I get the sense that there’s something else behind this coffee date.”

God, she knows me so well.

I hesitate, choosing my words carefully before I decide to just yank the bandage off and get it over with.

“All right, so you know that I’ve been helping Garrett with his schoolwork,” I say, and she nods. “Well, something happened yesterday…”

Haven’s eyes go wide. “What? What happened?”

“We… we kissed.”

“You did!” she exclaims so loudly that other customers turn to look at us.

My cheeks burn with embarrassment, and I try to hide my face with my hands. “Hey! Will you chill out, psycho? I don’t need the whole town knowing about this.”

“Okay, okay,” Haven says in a much lower voice. “Sorry, but tell me more.”

I give her a breakdown of what happened at the library. How Garrett and I argued and then he pulled me into that heart-stopping kiss. Of course, I also tell her how he turned tail and ran right afterward, then sent me that text with the ‘maybe.’ I’m positive it's just his way of blowing me off in a polite way. Haven rolls her eyes at that.

“Garrett, you moron,” she grumbles.

“You can see why I’m confused and cautious. I don’t think he enjoyed the kiss as much as I did, which really sucks. How am I supposed to act around him now?”

Haven shakes her head. “Marie, I love my brother. He’s a wonderful man and was my rock when Mom got sick. However, that doesn’t mean I can’t acknowledge when he’s being a total idiot. I’m sorry he left you like that, and trust me, if I thought it’d help, I’d go hunt him down and chew his ass out for doing it. We both know that’s not going to change anything, though.”

“What do I do?”

“I think you just need to give him some time,” she answers. “Garrett’s always been reserved and serious. When Dad died, he thought he needed to take on the role of man-of-the-house, even though he was still a kid. In his mind, he had to take care of me and Mom and make sure our needs were always put above his. When Mom got sick, that sense of responsibility he felt only intensified. Now I’m afraid he doesn’t really know how to take care of himself. It’s like he thinks if he ever dares to want something for himself, he’s somehow letting everyone else down.”

I consider her words and murmur, “Do you think there’s really any chance for me with him, Haven? Be honest. Am I just wasting my time with him?”

“Marie, I honestly think that you and Garrett would be so good together.” Haven gives me a sympathetic look and reaches across the table to take my hand. “I think your personalities complement each other and I would love to see two of my favorite people happy and settled. Garrett is… well, he’s fucking stubborn. I think what you have to figure out is whether you’re willing to risk him never realizing just how great you could be for him. If he were to acknowledge that and let you in, I’d put money on you two going all the way. However, if he can’t get past whatever is blocking him from seeing that—seeing you—I… I don’t know, Marie. I don’t want you to get hurt.”

It’s not exactly the reassuring pep talk I was hoping for, but Haven isn’t going to blow smoke up my ass just to make me feel better. That’s one reason she’s my best friend. I can trust her to tell me the truth.

I drum my fingers against the side of my coffee cup and consider her words.

“Part of me thinks I should just give up. I can’t help but wonder if I’m pathetic for still wanting him after all these years, or just desperate. When I think about being with someone else, though, it just feels… wrong. I’ve wanted Garrett for so long now. No one else has ever caught my attention like he has.”

“You’ve dated, though,” Haven points out. “You’ve had boyfriends. So, at least you know you can be with someone else.”

Chuckling sadly, I shake my head. “No, if anything, those relationships have only proven that I can’t make it work with anyone else because I can’t get over him.”

“Why him?” Haven asks, tilting her head and studying me closely. “I know you’ve liked him forever, but you’ve never really told me why you’re so obsessed with him. Why can no other man measure up to my brother?”

I rest my elbow on the table and lean into my hand, pinching the bridge of my nose.

“When Dad and Meredith got married, I was really hopeful that I’d finally have a family again,” I softly explain, the memories pushing forward and warming my heart. “Dad was never the same after Mom died, and if it weren’t for you and your family, I’d have been totally alone and miserable. Even after marrying Meredith, Dad didn’t really change, and she obviously didn’t want to be a real mother to me. You and your mom stepped in and made me feel loved and accepted… but Garrett, he made me feel safe. I looked up to him and wasn’t so afraid of the world because I knew he was in it, looking out for me.

“I remember when I was dating this guy who was older and a real jerk. We’d met atCarson’sand I really only started seeing him to try and get over Garrett. One night, I was with this guy and it was a bad date. He was being rude and pushy, and I just wanted to go home. I tried to call my dad to come get me, but he didn’t pick up, so I called your house instead. Garrett answered and immediately came to get me. When my date tried to guilt me into staying out with him, Garrett got in his face and told him to back off. He defended me when my father couldn’t be bothered to even answer the phone. After he chased the guy off, he took me to get ice cream and then drove around until I felt better. It was that night, I think, that I actually started to love him.”

Haven gazes at me with a concerned frown. “I never knew that. You didn’t tell me that story before.”

I shrug. “Yeah, I know. I was embarrassed, and think I wanted that night to be between me and Garrett, something that was just ours. That sounds stupid, I know, but…”

“It’s not stupid,” Haven assures me, offering a reassuring hand on my shoulder. “I get it. It’s kind of an anchor moment for you.”

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