Page 138 of Injustice and Absolution

I want to be angry.

I want to cry.

I want to feel relief.

I want clarity.

I want to disappear.

But I’m convinced we only get one thing we want in life. I wanted to get away from my father, and that wish was granted. I tried to cheat the system by sleeping with Royce and daring to desire a happy future with him.

The universe punished me because of it.

Using Royce to rip my heart out, it then placed me in Drew’s path instead. Now? I’m paralyzed. Left in a conscious yet vegetative state I don’t know that I’ll ever be able to break free of.

Royce calls Maggie’s name from downstairs, and she lets out a loud huff, closing the door behind her when she leaves. I open my eyes and listen as her feet hit the wooden stairs outside my room.

Immediately, they start arguing…Again.

They argue about me a lot. About what each of them think I need in order to get better.

Royce keeps mentioning Dr. Caraway’s name. He thinks she can help me like she did a few years ago. Maggie doesn’t necessarily disagree, but I’m sure she remembers how much I hated my weekly therapy sessions. So she believes that letting me ease my way back into a healthy routine, healing in my own time, will do the trick just as effectively.

They’re both wrong, but there’s no sense in telling them that—not that I could even if I wanted to. A normal life is no longer in the cards for me.

Their arguing grows more heated, each of them getting louder as they try to talk over the other. I hear additional voices cutting in now, but I can’t make out who it is playing referee.

“Enough!”Royce snaps, barking at Maggie and whoever else is around.“This ismyfucking house.Mydecision, andno oneis going to keep me from doing what needs to be done.”

His voice gets louder the closer to the stairs he gets.

“Goddamn it, Royce, she needs time. I can take care of her until she’s ready to take care of herself,”Maggie’s loud voice bellows after him.

“I’m not letting her waste away for months like last time, Maggie.”This time, I don’t hear anger in Royce’s voice but pain.“Not again.”

The sound of feet beating against wood as Royce closes in on my room keeps the hurt in his voice from confusing me.

I wait for terror to propel me into action.

For panic to rocket through me like it did the last time I laid eyes on him.

Foranythingto rouse me from my bed, to brace myself for evil to enter my room.

But as the door flies open, I feel...

Nothing.

“Look at her, Maggie. She’s fucking catatonic,” Royce gestures toward my still form as I stare, unfocused, at the open door. “Thatis not healthy.That’sgoing to get her nowhere.”

Maggie opens her mouth to deliver a rebuttal, but Royce turns his back on her, effectively shutting her up.

“Delilah,” he orders my attention to him, “come on. Let’s go.”

My mind tells me to obey. To do as I’m told so there won’t be any consequences. I will my legs to move. To put one foot on the floor and then the other. To sit up and follow him out of the room.

But I can’t. Unlike when Maggie tells me to do something, I’m paralyzed when it comes to Royce.

Not until I feel his strong hand clamp around my bicep does my body react.

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