Page 67 of Release Me

“Hey,” Richard says softly, reaching out and caressing my cheek. My eyes raise to his and he speaks again. “It’s going to be okay.”

“I’m so sorry,” I cry. “I made a horrible mistake, I know this, but please, please don’t send me back to Meadowlake. I’ll die there. Finnwillkill me this time. I know I don’t deserve you, Richard. I never did. I’m nothing, not someone who is worthy of your help, of your time, of your effort. But if you give me the chance to work for you instead of sending me back, I’ll do whatever you want. I’ll cook, clean, I’ll shovel shit in the stables. I’ll move out of the beautiful bedroom fit for a princess you have me in, and you can put me in a smaller room meant for staff. I’ll help with Gabriella—”

“Brynn, sweetie, I’m not sending you anywhere. I don’t want you out of my life. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and I love you.

He loves me. Helovesme? How can that even be possible?

“But after what I did…”

“I’m not happy about what has transpired over the past twenty-four hours, but I understand.”

“But, I over—”

“Listen, I need to get us off the highway. It will only take us a couple minutes to get home. As soon as we get there, we’ll talk about everything. Okay?”

I nod my head and sit back against the seat. My ass is on fire, my chest feels like it’s going to cave in on itself, but none of that matters. Richard is taking me back to his estate, and it’s all I could have hoped for.

* * *

As soon as we get back, Richard takes my hand and doesn’t let go until we’re in his bedroom. It’s then I remember this is where I slept last night, and I didn’t even get to enjoy it. I curse my stupidity at squandering such a momentous opportunity like that.

“Do you need anything before we begin?” he asks me.

I shake my head no, and he leads me to the loveseat in the sitting area in front of his panoramic windows. He turns his body so he’s facing me, and I mimic his pose.

“I need to apologize to you, Brynn.”

I’m immediately confused. He doesn’t have anything to be sorry for.

“For starters, I never should have allowed Victoria the opportunity to kiss me. She caught me off guard, and because of that I was too stunned to pull away quickly. But I want you to know I told her she had no right to do it, and I don’t have those feelings for her anymore. I haven’t in a long time.”

“But you called her last week.”

“I did. I needed advice because I thought I was failing you. To be clear, I never told her it wasn’t working out between us. And I certainly didn’t tell her I wanted her back as my Domme. What I did say, however, was it’s easier being a sub at times, and I sometimes wish I had someone to tellmewhat to do again.”

The relief that rolls through my body is like a high I’ve never experienced.

“The fact that you witnessed the kiss between us kills me. I would have told you about it, Brynn. In fact, the second I pushed her away, I went looking for you to tell you we were leaving. I got scared when I couldn’t find you, I thought someone took you. Then, seeing the state you were in when I finally located you. It broke my fucking heart.”

I begin to cry again thinking about the pain I caused him.

“Richard, I’m so sorry,” I begin, lowering myself to the floor and crawling between his legs. I kneel before him with my arms stretched out, gripping his shirt in my fists as though I’ll die if I let go. “I’ve never been this fucking angry at myself for being so weak. Nothing excuses what I did, but I knew she didn’t like me from the moment her eyes landed on the two of us together. When I saw you kissing her, and after she lied about your conversation, my heart broke all over again, just like it did when Jacob left me.”

Richard places his hands over mine before running them up my arms and tugging me onto his lap. He curls my hair behind my ear and wipes the tears from my face before allowing me to continue.

“The second I let that man touch me, I regretted it. I felt sick to my stomach, my hands got clammy. I started having a panic attack, and I thought I was going to die. But I didn’t stop him. I should have, but I didn’t. I’m sorry, Richard.”

I throw my arms around him and sob into the crook of his neck.

“I know you are, sweetie. It’s okay.”

“It’snotokay,” I argue.

“It’s not, but it is, Brynn. We’ve only been working on healing you for a month. I know people who slip after years of getting their condition and addictions under control. Yes, it’s a little different than falling off the wagon and having a drink, but the need you feel is the same. What happened was not just your fault, and I need to take responsibility for it, too. I went to your room to do just that, and realized you’d left.”

“I came looking for you, to beg you to let me explain. I overheard you say you wanted to send me back to Meadowlake. I couldn’t bear the thought of going back there. So I left. Wait, how did you know where to find me?”

Richard’s gaze falls to the collar I forgot to leave behind. He reaches up and fingers the leather before tugging gently on the ring hanging from the center.

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