Page 13 of With Love

Adrienne

I wake up feeling more refreshed than I ever remember feeling before. I’ve been here for a week and I still can’t get over my surroundings. I take in the beauty of the room in the early morning daylight. It really is gorgeous. The light colors are soothing. They’re a thousand times better than the blood red walls of my room at… stop thinking about it. Stop thinking about him.

But it’s so hard. I am more terrified than ever. It was one thing to endure the horror while I was held there, it’s another thing to have a glimpse of what I was missing followed by the fear of being dragged back into hell.

For the past week, I’ve been haunted by visions both of Lock as well as the plane crash. They come to me when I’m sleeping. I’ve woken up screaming more times than I can count. Lucy comes running when she hears me, but she can’t do anything to help. They come to me when I’m awake. Marshall tries to comfort me. To tell me that I’m safe. But I’m not. I’ll never escape from the visions in my head.

I shake my head to try and get rid of the feeling of fear as I realize that I need to use the bathroom. I look at the nightstand to my right and see the phone that Lucy gave me to call her when I needed something. It’s not really a phone. It’s more like a walkie-talkie; they can each only call one another. She told me that they are used between doctors and nurses in the hospital when they needed to get a hold of each other quickly. Then, I look at the furniture that lines my path to the bathroom. I could call Lucy, that’s what I should do. Or, I can work on strengthening my muscles so I can heal faster, and use the furniture as leverage to help me walk on my own. I should be fine, I’ve been in bed all week long and could use the exercise.

Whipping the covers off of my legs, I move them delicately, to the edge of the bed. The pain in my ribs is still searing hot, and it makes me cry out a little. Stopping my movements, I decide to wait a few moments before trying again. This time I am still in pain, but I manage to get my legs over the side of the bed. Breathing heavily, I take a break before trying to get up out of bed. ‘I understand why my breathing exercises are so important now’, I think to myself as I roll my eyes.

I extend my hand out and place it on the nightstand to brace myself before standing. Gently reaching around behind me, I grab a pillow and hug it tightly to my chest like Dr. Hill taught me. Then, as softly as I can, I slide down the side of the bed until my feet lightly touch the floor.

With one hand wrapped firmly around the pillow, I pause to get my footing. I let go of the comforter and hold my hand out to assist with my balance. So far so good.

I take one step. Still standing. I take another step. It hurts, but I haven’t fallen, so that’s a plus. Slowly, I take one step after another and before I know it, my hand is brushing the top of a table directly in front of the picture window. I pause again before continuing.

When I am ready to move forward, I lift my right foot and begin to take a step. Unfortunately, my toe hits the leg of the table and I lose my footing. I go down hard, completely incapable of stifling a scream. Not that it would have mattered anyway. When the table shook, it caused a ceramic vase to topple over onto the floor and shatter into a million pieces.

Within seconds, the rumble of footsteps flying down the hallway is followed by Lucy and Marshall bursting through the doors to my room.

“Adrienne! Oh my God! What happened?”

I was just about to answer when I see Marshall enter the room, practically knocking Lucy over with his momentum. He looks furious and it scares me.

“I’m sorry!” I wail. “Please don’t be angry with me. I had to use the bathroom and I didn’t want to bother anyone. I thought I could make it on my own.”

Marshall marches over to where I’m sitting. He reaches down toward my face making me flinch.

“Please don’t hurt me! I’m so sorry!” I scream throwing my hand up, trying to defend myself, and he stops in his tracks.

“Adrienne, I would never hurt you. I simply wanted to help you up off of the floor. Lucy, can you grab her other arm?”

Lucy walks over to me and grabs my other arm. She and Marshall exchange a glance. Together they work to get me standing upright.

“Did you hurt yourself? Either an existing injury or a new one? Did you cut yourself at all when the vase fell?” Marshall’s questions are peppering me like rapid fire.

“No. I’m fine.” I answer, hanging my head in shame. I see Marshall’s hand reach out toward me just before he puts a finger under my chin and raises my face to look at him.

“You need to understand something,” he starts. “I am never, ever going to hurt you. I know that you’re used to cruelty and horror, but your life will be different now. I promise you that. Do you understand?”

“Yes,” I say, nodding my head, still feeling very skeptical

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