Page 42 of With Love

That can’t be comfortable, I think to myself. But he isn’t going to take his clothes off. For starters, he would never be that presumptuous. But especially not if I’m getting ready to sleep in this robe. He just said that I need to take the lead. I can take my robe off and sleep in my pj’s, right? I mean it’s a tank top and shorts, it’s not like its underwear. But it’s a fancy tank top. Like, the kind that’s made for “sleeping” with someone. And I don’t have a bra on, so it may be a little showy. I don’t want to confuse him. I just stopped us from going further than our kissing because I didn’t want to let myself lose control. I don’t want to lead him on or make him think that I was lying to him just now.

“Wow.” Marshall’s voice tears through my racing thoughts. “Your thoughts are so loud I can hear them from here. What’s the matter? I can go, seriously. If you’re having second thoughts about this, then it’s fine. I swear.”

“No. No, it’s nothing like that. It’s just, I don’t know if you’re going to be very comfortable sleeping in those clothes. That’s all.”

“Oh. Well, I wasn’t planning on taking them off. If I get to sleep next to you, nothing else matters. I’ll be perfect. Trust me.”

I give him a smile and he sits up.

“Adrienne, please. Tell me what’s wrong,”

“Nothing. Just… just one moment.” I whip the covers off and stand. I remove my robe slowly and I lay it over the back of the chair where I was eating earlier. Then, I turn and walk around the bed to Marshall’s side.

Holding my hand out to him, I help pull him into a standing position. When he is fully upright, I begin to unbuckle his belt and remove it from his jeans.

“I want you to be comfortable. I don’t want you to have to deal with things or settle for things just to be with me. And that goes for everything, not just something small like this.” I say when I notice the questioning expression on his face.

“Adrienne, if I am with you, I’m comfortable. You don’t have to do this, you know that, right?”

“I know I don’t have to. But I trust you and that makes me okay with this. That makes me want this.”

Looking straight into his eyes I offer him a big smile as I undo the top button of his jeans. When that’s finished, I step back while he does the rest.

When his jeans are gone, I help him pull his sweater over his head. Once his sweater is out of the way, I hop up on my tiptoes and give him a little peck on the cheek before walking back over to my side of the bed.

Burrowing back underneath of the covers, I lay down facing Marshall. He pulls the covers over his body and reaches one hand out, stopping it about halfway between him and me.

Using the remote that controls the lights, I dim the room around us until it’s dark. All that’s left is the hint of the twinkling lights above the bed that shine over us like a blanket of stars. I put the remote back on the nightstand and roll over until I am facing Marshall again. He smiles at me softly. I reach my hand out and slide it underneath of his. He links his fingers with mine and gives it a slight squeeze.

“Marshall?”

He smiles at me.

“Do you remember when you told me to let you know when I am ready to learn more about my past? About our past?”

“Yeah. Of course.”

“I’m ready,” I start. “I’m ready and I want to remember everything.”

My chest tightens as the emotion has built up almost to the point of bursting. A tear escapes from my lid and runs down my cheek, soaking into the bedsheet beneath my head.

He answers with another slight squeeze and a kiss to my hand.

I like this, a lot. Maybe more than I should. I am falling for Marshall, fast and hard, and it’s both exciting and scary. Hope is blooming within me and it’s terrifying; it’s so frail.

But what if hope doesn’t have anything to do with it? What if it has to do with fate? I believe that we’re meant to be together, but sometimes the universe has other plans. All it takes is one blip for your whole life to shatter.

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