Page 30 of Journey to Love

But as the passion between us escalates, a small voice in the back of my mind whispers a warning but I ignore it, I wanna feel him inside me. I feel a sudden wave of dizziness wash over me, fueled by the potent combination of alcohol and desire. Jacob's hands start to roam over my body, igniting a fire within me that threatens to consume all reason.

In that moment of urgency and need, I cling to him desperately. But through the haze of desire, I sense Jacob's hesitance, a subtle shift in his touch that speaks volumes. His kisses become softer, more restrained, and I detect a flicker of concern in his eyes.

Suddenly, he pulls away slightly, his gaze searching mine. I try to steady myself against his chest, my heart pounding with a mixture of desire and confusion.

"Anya... we can't do this," Jacob's voice is soft but filled with resolve as he gently puts some distance between us. His words hit me like a sudden gust of cold wind, leaving me feeling hurt and confused.

"What do you mean?" I manage to choke out, my voice tinged with disbelief. The ache in my chest grows with each passing second, a dull throb that I can't seem to shake off.

"Don't you want me?" The words escape my lips before I can stop them, desperation and vulnerability seeping into my tone. I search his eyes for any sign of reassurance, any glimmer of hope that he might change his mind.

“I want you, more than anything,” he says as he pulls me closer, my hands instinctively resting on his toned chest. His intense gaze reveals his desire for me. “Then take me,” I whisper, leaning up towards him.

He chuckles softly against my lips before kissing me with passion. “Not like this, baby,” he says as he breaks the kiss but keeps his hands on my body. I pout, “Why not?” He cups my face gently, “Because you're drunk.”

“So what?” I plead.

He leans down again, “When I make love to you, I want every moment to be etched in your mind. Every kiss, every touch, every thrust. I want you to remember how my tongue feels on your skin and how deeply my cock fills you with pleasure so completely that no one else will satisfy you the same way. When you surrender to me, you'll be fully aware and in control of your senses.” His words send shivers down my spine and heat up my entire body.

I am stunned by what he is saying, but at the same time, his words make me feel cherished and desired in a way I never thought possible. His concern for my well-being and his desire to make our lovemaking intimate and unforgettable is the sweetest thing I've ever heard.

“I thought you didn’t want me,” I whisper. He nods, “Anya, like I said, I do want you, with every fiber of my being, do I want you. But I also want you to be fully present,” he says stroking his thumb against my cheek. “I want to know exactly what you're feeling, the way you feel when I'm inside you, and how you scream my name as you climax.” His words melt away the last vestiges of my confusion, and I feel myself falling under his spell.

As he speaks, I notice the concern in his eyes, and it melts my heart. I realize that beneath his desire for intimacy, there is a deep respect for me, a man who wants to make sure I'm comfortable and happy.

"Okay, I understand" I say softly, taking a deep breath. Jacob smiles at me, a mixture of relief and happiness in his eyes. "I want the first time we have sex with each other to be something we both remember," he says, and I can see the resolve in his gaze.

We continue to sit there for a few moments, listening to the gentle lapping of the waves against the ship and the distant sounds of the city. Enjoying being in his arms. At last, I take another deep breath and say, "We should head back it’s getting late."

Jacob nods, and we both disentangle ourselves from each other. He helps me down from his arms, and we walk back to the cabin together. We don't speak, but there's a sense of mutual understanding between us, a bond that has been strengthened by our honesty with each other. As we reach the cabin door, Jacob turns to me, his eyes soft with a mix of regret and fondness. "I had a great time with you Anya," he says, his voice sincere. "Me too," I reply, offering him a small smile. Despite the disappointment of the moment, I feel a sense of relief washing over me. We may not have ended up where I hoped, but at least we're on the same page now. With a nod, Jacob kisses me goodnight, and I watch him disappear down the hall before slipping into my cabin. As I settle into bed, I can't help but feel grateful for the honesty and understanding that has emerged between us, even in the face of disappointment.

Jacob

As I sit in my cabin, the events of the night replay in my mind like a broken record. Anya's laughter, her warmth beside me, the temptation that pulsed through my veins—each memory is etched into my consciousness with painful clarity.

I wanted her. God, I wanted her more than anything. But as she stood before me, her words slurred with the effects of alcohol, I couldn't bring myself to act on those desires."Don’t you want me?” her words ring in my mind.

Of course, I wanted her. That much was undeniable. But the alcohol had clouded her judgment, dulled her inhibitions, and I couldn't bear the thought of taking advantage of her vulnerable state. So, I had held back, offered her a comforting embrace instead of giving in to the burning need that coursed through me.

Now, as I lie in bed, staring up at the ceiling, I can't shake the feeling of regret that gnaws at my insides. Did I do the right thing by resisting her advances? Should I have allowed myself to succumb to the intoxicating allure of her presence, consequences be damned?

But deep down, I know the answer. I acted out of respect for Anya, out of a desire to protect her, even from herself. True love isn't just about giving in to passion; it's about respecting boundaries, cherishing the person you care for above all else.

And so, as I drift off to sleep, I find solace in the knowledge that I did what I believed to be right, even if it meant sacrificing my own desires for the sake of her well-being.

Chapter Eighteen

Jacob

The following morning brings with it a sense of unease that lingers in the air. As I rise from bed and prepare for the day ahead, my thoughts remain fixated on the events of the previous night. Was Anya upset with me for pulling away? Did I ruin our budding connection by hesitating to act on my desires?

These questions swirl around in my mind like a whirlpool, threatening to consume me with doubt and uncertainty. But amidst the turmoil, a glimmer of hope emerges—the hope that perhaps Anya will understand my intentions, my desire to protect her from making choices she might regret.

As I make my way to breakfast, I steel myself for whatever interactions await me. Will Anya avoid me, her disappointment palpable in the air? Or will she meet my gaze with understanding, acknowledging the complexities of our situation?

As I enter the dining area, I spot Anya sitting with Lana, a faint smile playing on her lips. Relief floods through me at the sight of her seemingly unaffected demeanor. Perhaps she doesn't harbor any ill feelings toward me after all.

Taking a seat beside her, I offer a tentative smile, unsure of how she'll respond. To my surprise, she returns the gesture, her eyes meeting mine with a warmth that sends a rush of reassurance coursing through me.

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