Page 31 of Journey to Love

As I take a seat beside her, she greets me with a warm smile. "Hey," she says cheerfully. "Well hello there, gorgeous," I reply, playfully nudging her shoulder. "You don't look hungover at all," I tease. Then I look at Lana, who looks like she is definitely feeling the effects of last night's indulgences. Lana looks at Anya with a sly smile, "It's because she's a hidden witch who possesses supernatural abilities when it comes to alcohol."

"Oh please, I just remembered to hydrate before bed and popped a Tylenol, unlike someone else here," Anya chimes in with a teasing tone. Lana shakes her head and giggles before attempting to return her attention to her breakfast, still feeling the effects of their wild night out.

As we continue our breakfast, Anya lifts her head, her eyes curious as she asks, "So what do you and your family have planned today?"

I take a moment to consider before responding, "We don't really have too much planned together today. Marissa and Tom are doing their own thing, my mom and stepdad are doing theirs. So I guess we are just all going to be trying to enjoy our last full day on the cruise."

Anya and Lana both nod, seemingly understanding. "What are you two going to do?" I ask, turning the question back to them.

They exchange glances before Lana shrugs, "I don't know, maybe hang around the pool. Take a nap. Walk the ship some more."

Anya chimes in, "Yeah, just soak in the last bit of relaxation before we have to head back to reality."

I nod, feeling a sense of camaraderie with them as we all contemplate how to make the most of our final day on the cruise.

As we finish breakfast and we all go our separate ways, the weight of impending departure settles heavily on my shoulders. I can't shake the feeling of disappointment that this trip is ending so quickly. There's an ache in my chest at the thought of leaving without fully exploring what could be between Anya and me.

It's only been four days since we've met, but it feels like a lifetime. The connection we share is undeniable, and I find myself yearning for more. I want her in my life, not just as a friend, but something deeper, something more meaningful.

Yet, there's a nagging doubt in the back of my mind. Should I tell her about my plans to join the military? Would she even want to continue things with me knowing that I'll be leaving soon? It's a risk I know I have to take if I want to pursue something real with her.

But as I weigh the pros and cons, one thing remains clear: I want her in my life, and I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make that happen. Whether it's just for the time we have left on this cruise or for a lifetime beyond it, I'm determined to see where this connection leads us.

Anya

As Lana and I walk down the corridor, the ship's gentle hum beneath our feet, I can't shake off the whirlwind of conflicting emotions swirling inside me. Last night with Jacob... it was a rollercoaster of emotions. Part of me wanted to let go, to feel that connection, that warmth he offered. But another part of me, the part that's been hurt before, the part that's still healing, held back.

Jacob's hesitation, his gentle refusal... it left me feeling a mix of relief and disappointment. Relief because maybe he's not like Paul or even Joe for that matter, maybe he won't hurt me. Disappointment because... well, I don't know what could have been had we’d slept together.

I want to believe in Jacob, I really do. He seems genuine, kind even. But after what I've been through, I can't help but be cautious. Trust doesn't come easy for me, not after everything I've been through.

So here I am, torn between the desire for something more with Jacob and the fear of getting hurt again. It's a constant battle, one that I'm still trying to navigate. And as much as I want to open up to him, to let myself feel, I can't ignore the nagging voice in the back of my mind, whispering reminders of past pain and betrayal.

For now, I'll take things one step at a time, treading carefully as I try to make sense of my feelings. And maybe, just maybe, Jacob will prove to be different, someone I can trust, someone who won't let me down. But until then, I'll keep my guard up, protecting my heart as best as I can while still holding onto a glimmer of hope for something more.

I wake up to the warm rays of sunlight streaming in through our balcony door. It takes me a moment to realize that I had even fallen asleep. I glance around the room, but Lana is nowhere to be found. I rub my eyes and yawn, trying to fully wake up. Maybe she went out for a bit. My throat feels dry, so I grab a bottle of water from the mini fridge and quickly finish it off, despite drinking one before bed last night. As I head out onto the balcony, I grab my phone from the nightstand, hoping to find some clue as to where Lana might have gone.

Lana steps into the room with Sam, Patricia, and JC trailing behind her, their voices carrying the residual buzz of the morning's activities. "Hey, you're up," she greets me with a warmth that belies the unease lingering in my chest.

"I didn't even realize I fell asleep," I admit, my voice a whisper against the backdrop of their chatter. "Where did you go, and why didn't you wake me?" The questions spill out before I can stop them, tinged with a hint of insecurity.

Lana offers a reassuring smile, her eyes soft with understanding. "You looked like you needed the sleep," she explains gently, "and I just went to grab something from the buffet and some coffee to wake myself up." Her words soothe some of the tension coiling within me, and I nod in silent gratitude.

Lana’s smile gets smaller as she sees me quiet and she turns to our friends saying we’ll meet them later tonight, they nod in understanding that Lana and I need a moment.

As our friends bid us farewell and leave the room, Lana joins me on the balcony, settling into a chair beside mine. Concern lines her features as she turns to me, her hand reaching out to touch mine. "Hey, what's going on?" she asks softly, her voice filled with genuine care.

I hesitate for a moment, unsure of how to put the whirlwind of emotions raging inside me into words. "I don't know," I confess, my gaze drifting out over the expanse of the ocean before us. "I'm feeling all sorts of things right now."

Lana nods, her expression encouraging me to continue. "Like, I've been having a great time with you and our friends on this cruise," I continue, "but... my life is still a mess. And then there's Jacob."

I pause, the name hanging in the air between us like an unspoken question. Lana waits patiently, her presence a steady anchor in the storm brewing within me. "What if he's not who I think he is?" I finally voice the fear that's been gnawing at the edges of my thoughts. "What if he's just like Joe, or worse, like Paul?"

Lana settles beside me, her presence a comforting presence amidst the tumult of my thoughts. Her hand begins to rub soothing circles on my back, a gesture that grounds me in the present moment. "It's only been four days, Anya," she reminds me gently, her voice a soft reassurance. "You can't possibly come to that conclusion in such a short amount of time."

Her words resonate within me, a reminder to temper my fears with patience and perspective. I take a moment to consider her question, allowing myself to recall the moments I've shared with Jacob since we first met on this cruise. "Plus, has he given you any indication that he might be like Joe or Paul?" Lana prompts, her gaze steady and supportive.

I close my eyes briefly, searching through the memories of our interactions for any hint of the darkness that haunted my past. But instead of echoes of pain, I find flashes of laughter, moments of genuine connection, and a warmth that I've longed for. "No," I admit, a small smile tugging at the corners of my lips. "He hasn't."

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