Page 50 of Dying to Meet You

What I’m privy to can’t be shared. I don’t want to lie or withhold anything from Eden, but I don’t have a choice right now. One wrong move could be fatal.

Matt’s face may look calm, but his eyes tell a different story when he drops his arms. In a saddened voice, he says, “Sweetheart, state police have been fully briefed-”

She cuts him off. “I swear on my life, if we don’t…if Weston doesn’t come ho-home;” her voice is strangled with tears. “I’ll blame you for it, because you did this. You decided to remove resources that could’ve helped find him.” She swipes his hand away while running for the stairs.

Bristow and Harrison witness the whole exchange, waiting to speak to Matt. Harrison lets out a big breath. “Do you want us to hang around for a while longer?”

“We’ve got this. Both Keir and I are on leave for now. You can take off.” His voice struggles to remain even. “Could you forward the search party list to me?”

Harrison claps a hand on Matt’s back. “You’ve got it. If you need anything you know where to find me.”

I watch as Harrison, Bristow, and a handful of agents grab their gear and leave. With them goes a sense of forward momentum. The three state officers pull Matt aside to talk while I remain rooted in place.

Do I go to Eden? Try to smooth things over and reassure her this isn’t a detrimental turn? I don’t have the words right now…

My feet carry me into the kitchen, where Chris’s adoptive mom, Kim, is banging on our coffeemaker swearing to herself.

“Ayyyy yooo, Ma, don’t beat their fancy shit,” Chris says from behind me. He pulls her coffee cup away. Kim, with her Guns N’ Roses T-shirt and ripped skinny jeans, isn’t your typical parental figure. This mental health nurse smokes like a chimney; and uses both foul language and blunt observations like a badge of honor. She and Chris are kind of perfect together.

She snags a cookie from a tray left by a neighbor. With a full mouth, she says, “Eden needs to be doing something more than waiting around. Spinning your wheels at a time like this is going to drive her crazy.”

Before I can formulate a response, Blaine carrying Warner; and Caleb with the Abbott kids come trooping through. Zach stops in front of me. “When is Wes coming home? I miss him.”

Me, too. Christ, me, too.

He’s been carrying Roscoe, Wes’s teddy bear around. The same one Weston never left home without until a couple years ago. Now, Zach hands him over to anyone he sees who needs cheering up. Standing there while clutching it, looking to me for an answer, I can’t find my voice. Blaine covers his face as silent tears fall, trying to keep Warner from catapulting at me.

Lifting Warner from his arms, I bury my face in his dark hair. He resembles Weston. At three, Wes was a chatterbox, always on the go, saying“look, look, look,”about everything. In contrast, Warner is reserved. Will he ever know his brother? Goddamnit, I feel fucking ill and turned inside out, my brain matted with horrific what-ifs.

“We need to keep her safe,” Caleb says to Kim.

“All of you forget what you’re dealing with here. I remember all too well those Realists, and they will get to her wherever they want to. At least if she’s busy;” she pops another cookie in her mouth, smacking away, “she isn’t blaming herself for not fighting in a meaningful way.” She hands a couple cookies to Zinnea and Zach. “Tell me I’m wrong.”

Matt’s been listening from the doorway, and we all startle when he says, “Keir, I need to talk to you.”

Following him into the hallway of Hutton’s addition, my stomach cramps as I struggle to come up with a way to convince Matt to undo his earlier decision. He leans against the wall before bending forward. Agony bleeding through his words he says, “We need to find Hutton. If we don’t, he…” He peers up at me, his face contorted in pain. “It’s a trap. Every last bit of this feels like a trap to lure him in. They have his code, they’re leaving threats for Eden, they’ve claimed responsibility for Wes missing…”

I’ve never seen Matt like this. Broken. Fighting to keep his composure when it’s clear the weight of all that’s happened is too much.

He knows he’ll lose Eden if his decision backfires.

I squat next to him, pulling him close by the back of his neck. Through a thickened voice, I tell him, “I trust you. Nothing has changed in that respect. But I don’t understand, and Eden doesn’t either right now.”

Make me understand, just give me more here…

He meets my eyes, saying, “I need you to make sure if Eden leaves someone is with her, and the kids have at least two, if not more adults watching them. Can you do that?”

What’s he going to be doing?

Confused, I move back slightly. “You don’t need to tell me that. Where exactly are you going to be?”

He pulls me back to him, giving me a tender kiss on my mouth, barely any pressure. Holding me tightly to him he says, “I need to find Hutton. No one else needs to know right now, though, okay? I have a good idea where he may go, but he’s going to need help…which he’d never ask for.”

In silence, we hold each other for a few more seconds; before he stands. Determination sets in regarding what he plans to do. “If anyone asks, you don’t know where I am. I don’t care if I’m the bad guy in their eyes if I can stop what’s happening. If I can find Wes. I’ll make everyone understand later.”

I disagree completely with what he’s doing, but love makes you accept circumstances you’d rail against otherwise. I’ll protect him, as I will Eden because I love him. “Be fucking careful. If you don’t check in with me twice a day, I’m not keeping this to myself. I’ll send Harrison and Bristow to find you.”

Moving in a state of turmoil to look for Eden, I can’t help doubt creeping in about Matt’s reasoning. Is he going to find Hutton to help, or does his motive have to do with covering up something larger he’s become a part of? I still haven’t found time to ask him about Halcyon. Wes missing overshadows everything.

---